... in a very good way.
I started to use pinnacle and I´ve to say, this is much fun.
Just, it is time sucking in every kind of meaning.
So I did spend 5 hours with the first 5 chapters with a blink of an eye.
I forgot to eat, I forgot to drink or to go out and have a breath of the fresh, but cold and rainy, air.
But, I was pleased to see, that I can use that pc-tool if I just try hard enough.
Another big deal is, to find some webspace for free to upload some short bits of the videos. But, these video files are so big and so it takes forever.

I´m pleased with my day so far and I think I have to do something less exhausting for the rest of the day, but, now I´m in the flow I think I will add one or the other hour on those things with a blink an eye

Hope you all have a great sunday

anna
 

What an intersting woman.
Working for woman questions, working for peace and was free spirited like no other in her time.
I never thought about her until I saw a documentary about her on tv today.
Never thought that she was tough like that and was going thru so many rough times in her life.
And, she was so strong.
Did know what she wanted from life and no one was able to get her off the road.
Her work for the peace in the world was really before her time.
I think, it is still to early to understand her way of thinking for the people who shout for war today.
Dear, Mr. Bush, read her works and what she says about peace.
Dear, Mr. Ahmadinedschad, please do the same.
One really important sentence she said was:"The next step of evolution will be, when all wars are gone, like cannibalism is already gone" (not an exactly quote, but, I think I catched the sense of it)

What I wish for the world is, that everybody finds peace in your own thoughts and than we might have a chance to find peace for the world.... BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE....

http://www.berthavonsuttner2005.info/index.php?option=com_content&task=view...

anna

 

It´s a beautiful signed Poster and now I fear I have to move, because I can´t find the right wall to hang it up, that it won´t look so poor
I have a real small flat and I still look after the perfect place and not my boring white wall

Wish you all a wonderful day

anna
 

... but it feels like there was so much happen you can put in a year.
So I wasn´t able to write it all down.
It was even more fun than I expected and it made my metamorhpose complete.
I´m back again, yes, I´m really back.
I can enjoy myself and I can laugh.
I´m just the one I always wanted to be.
Not shallow, not too serious, but still serious.
I enjoyed myself and had a lot of fun.
I missed some really good friends there, but without any sadness.
I won the main price of the weekend and so I hold a real peace of you in my hand, my friend.
It was like you were telling me, that it is allright and that I made the right decision.
Well, not really, but I´m sure, you understand.
Not only did I win this price, I won another one in a competition and I swear you, I never won anything in my life before.
So I decided to play lotto this week... even if I don´t win there I had more luck last weekend than anyone can imagine.
Emotional wise I won a lot.
I won some new friends and even it won´t be some lifetime friendships I don´t regret anything.
I had some wonderful hugs and even some really unexpected hugs.
It all felt so good and so right.
The only thing I really missed were 4 people I so wanted to have around me.
You 4 know who you are and you know that I love you.

anna
 

.... with doing the laundry and thinking about the things I need for the long weekend in amsterdam.
I have to pack for the parties, for the sunshine... for, maybe the rain... for cold weather, for warm weather... and I´m only away for 4 days.
But, the april weather is so funny at the moment, that I fear I´ve to be prepaired for every situation...
Oh, and, I´ve to pack all the other stuff, like my videocam, maybe my notebook (not decided, yet)and so on....

But, I´m really looking forward to it and I think I know why....
I avoided to go to this parties for a long while now. Maybe it was a strange coincidence that I was always in NYC when those meet ups happened, but maybe it was more my reason not to go there.
Fact is, I didn´t know about those meet ups while I was planning my trips to NYC. Could be that I didn´t show enough interest during that time, but I´m not able to say that for sure.
All I know, that I wasn´t in the mood for a party for a long while now.
And now... I´m up for it.
I´m so ready for fun and I think it will be a great weekend.

Ok, there is a little bit of fear aswell.
I mean, what, if my mood topples and I start again to sit in the corner and think and ignoring the fun?
What, if all the memories come back and will bring me close to tears again?
What, if I changed that much, that nobody likes me anymore?

There is a little chance that it can be like that.
But, than again.... I´m feeling so good, so fantastic, like I did during the best time in my life. So, I doubt it will go worse in any way.... but, you never know....

Hope you all will have a great weekend aswell...

Packing my laguage again tomorrow will bring wonderful goose bumps of excitement, for sure.
Will be gone the friday morning and will be in that beautiful city in only 2 1/2 hours train ride...
Yeah... world you have me back....
Me.... and not that depressed monster sitting at home and cry in self pity....

anna
 

....again it´s been a while.... sorry....

But, there is so much going on in my head, that I started several entries here in my blog and deleted it again.
I´m always jumping from on theme to another.
Or, the themes I started was to complex for a short entry.
And, when I started to write it, I realized that I didn´t had enough time to write about it.

One of the main theme at the moment is about the book The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail.
This book is really the most intersting stuff I´ve read in ages.
And, because of this book I want to read some other books mentioned there.
Thing is, that it would be an endless thing as you find so much and have so much questions, that you will end up asking more, with every answer you get...
But, I get many answers and some things about the Grail, the crusaders and the myth around this tails are no tails at all.
Now I wonder how many people are really involved in this big global mystery cult.
I knew, that the assasins are still active and I was sure, that this is the same for the crusaders.
But, now I´m really sure, that all these secret societies still exist and that not very much changed over all these years.
Maybe today they fight with other weapons, but they are still active....

Oooohhhh, I could go on forever about it. This is all so thrilling...
Just look at all those big brains in history who joined this secret society or better were their big master.

Well, I will go on with that, but two hours of the day are just there to read in that fascinating book.

Oh, and I wanted to write about my trip to Amsterdam.
From friday on I will be away and enjoy my time.
I think I will tell about it when I´m home again.

And, some daily thoughts I wanted to write down here aswell. About the people I met over the last days, about the trip to the museum in Kommern...
Meanwhile I leave a link to that interesting place:
http://www.lvr.de/FachDez/Kultur/Museen/Freilichtmuseum+Kommern/englische...

Hope you all had a great easter and met a lot of family and friends...
And, Káre.... apologizes again that I didn´t answer you nice comments... hope you can forgive me

Love on ya all

anna
 

Well,I don´t know....
I´m busy with planning my trip to amsterdam, which will be in 2 1/2 weeks and I´m totally excited.
And I´ve to work only 7 days in a row from tomorrow on and than I´ve two and a half weeks off.
Spring is in the air, but the weather is crazy.

Flood is again in some cities in germany and some people are ruined again. Now, after they rebuilded their homes from the catastrophal flood only two years ago.
It is sad to see, that it is like history repeating again and the poor are again on the looser side.

And today I saw the first real signs of the spring. Some trees start to burgeon and show some beautiful colours.
This is always just amazing to see and gives me some hope, that the good things in the world are still existing.
No, I´m not in a depression mood again.
Not at all.
I´m actually in a real good mood for weeks now and enjoy that.
But, beside the good mood, I can´t stop thinking... thinking about the things going on in the world...

Oh, and I´m reading two books at the moment:
The Holy Blood and The Holy Grail
and
Parciaval... the "original" one from Wolfram von Eschenbach...
Both books are really intersting stuff and I enjoy it as a thriller. Both books are connected and so it is interesting to find out, how much they are connected.

anna

P.S.:If I have some typos and grammar mistakes... sorry.... I hope I´m excused.... I´m tired and need to go to bed

 

I went out into a café in the center of cologne to write there as my flat isn´t the right place to be inspired.
The café is a nice one whith an artistcally touch and is called Lichtensteins.
They have often live music there, most of the time some jazzy music with piano.
In the earlier days it was one of the first internet cafés in cologne and it was already a REAL café.
It has some strange kind of atmosphere which is really inspiring.
I did spend around 3 hours there and wrote a lot.
I started with the blog entry for today, but as it is already 3 sites long and still not finished I decided, that it will be another seperate item in my portfolio soon.
It was nice to write with a wonderful glass of red wine and have some dinner inbetween.
While I was writing (really serious stuff about god and religions, very philosophical) a little boy was destroying my concentration next to me.
First he threw his jacket on my pc bag and than he was throwing his little toy car under my table.
But, somehow I felt pity with him and was not annoyed at all. The poor lil boy was just bored and didn´t know what to do in such a café.
It seems like the family was visiting the big sister of him, who was working at that place.
After a while he was softly tapping on my shoulder.
Can I watch, what you are doing there? he was asking me.
Instead of an answer I asked him Can you read english?
He shooked his head and was grinning at me, shy, but a bit cheeky.
It was really sweet.
Ok, sure you can watch, I told him with a smile.
There was no longer any hold of him and he was sitting on my lap.
I decided to save the things I´ve written before he was able to hit the wrong button.
You like to play something on the computer? I asked him.
The parents looked already very worried, because the little one was really snoopy, but I enjoyed it.
His offhanded answer was Pinball, do you have pinball on your computer?
That was just to cute for words.
So we both played one round of this game and he was pretty good. He was excited when I told him, that he won the game. To be honest, I didn´t know for sure, but it was so wonderful to see a little face happy like that.
I put out my black book and asked him, if he can write already.
He said, that he was able to write his name and so I let him write into my black book.
The first try wasn´t that good and I explained him, how to do better. The second try was absolutly perfect.
I asked him his age and little Tim was 6 years old and not in school, yet.
I had the feeling, that the parents hadn´t much faith in his talents and so he was really excited, that I encouraged him that much. He was proud about what he did and now wanted a notebook for himself.
Daddy, Daddy, can you buy me a notebook tomorrow? Pleaaaaassseeee. I want to work with that like Anna is doing it. I want to write and learn with it. Pleaaaaaassseeeee
I somehow felt the need to stop his enthusiasm, because it was me who encouraged him that much.
So I said to him, that a notebook is very expensive and not so easy to buy.
His mother said that he needs around 1000€ to buy one. As if an 6 year old boy knows, how much money that is.
And so he answered Ok, than I save my money until next week and we go and buy one
It was hard to hold back the laugh, but I explained to him, that it took me about 3 years of money saving before I was able to buy one. That was something he was able to understand.
And so he wanted my promise, that, when we meet again, he can play with my notebook again.
It was really a funny break inbetween my writing and little Tim was so cute.
I wrote a bit more of this philosphical item, but I couldn´t go back to that essay and so I stopped it in the middle of writing.
And popped into another story I started already a long time ago.
I finished half of the chapter, when my battery died and so I will finish the chapter, when I finished this blog entry and will put it up into the other blog I write. But, this writing stuff is to trivial and to specific to be mentioned here.

So, it was a very pleased and creative day for me and I´m happy, that I decided to go out and breath a different air than the one in my flat.

anna

P.S.: Káre, thanks for your comments, will answer them soon, but for today I had some other stuff on my mind. Hope you understand that. I really love your comments and I really appreciate them. Thanks!!!
 

... I enjoy my day off.
I start with a wonderful cup of coffee and a fantastic beakfast.
Later the day I need some better lecture to get the Pinnacle Studio 9 working. And I think about a backpack for my little silver notebook.
I´m so excited about this toy and about the possibilities.
Sometimes I´m just glad that I life in an age were the computers make a creative life so "easy".
But, before you can make your work on the computer better, you´ve to do the basics the very old way.
But now everybody is able to make a movie, to mix a song or to illustrate a book in an easier way.
That doesn´t mean that you have to have less talent or less ideas. This is still the same.
And, with the internet you are able to get feedback very fast.
And, you can be sure, that the people say what they think about your work in an very honest way, because they don´t need to be nice. They are not your friends. There are just some people who like your stuff or not.
So, you can sort out the mean and unrefined critics and learn with the real critics.
I like to have critical comments. No, not that comments, like This is just bad.... I don´t like it.... without any explanations.
What I like is I would write it a bit different.... I don´t like it, because I miss this or that... and so on. It always makes my brain working faster and bears a lot of new ideas.
Not, that I take every critic or change demand and change it the way people want it. It is still my work. It will always be my work. But some of my poems and for sure, the kids short story (which will grow into a longer story soon)had become so much better, because people gave me some tips and that is just great. I was able to change my peaces of work and can look at them and smile, because I know they are still my work.

So, the internet and the computers are a big challenge in the land of creativity.
But I never let the handmade work out of my eyes. And I use the tools to fullfill my work in an easier way.

Oh, and now I go and play with my toys and see you all around soon

anna


 

I have so many things on my mind at the moment and again, I have no idea, with which project to start or to continue first. And so I wasted three days already and feel so bad about it.
I should write on with my kids story...
I should practise more with my new movie cutting tool...
I should write on with another story I have on my mind for a few days already...
I should practise more with the music mixing system I have on my pc and get the things done I want to do...
I should practise more with the photoshop ideas I have...

And, inbetween all that, I´ve a regulary job to do every day.....
And, don´t forget about my household...

So please, anybody... tell me with what to start with and how to make all the things possible I want to make possible?
Oh, and I forget, that I have a life outthere and have to meet friends and the sun and the spring....

And as I can´t decide I did nothing... I know, this is the VERY WRONG way, but this blog entry is a start

pweh, I think I´ve too much energy to waste at the moment

anna