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 |  Jeanette's Daily Journal
Replacing my old blog, a journal of my thoughts, story ideas, poetry starters, etc. |
  I will talk about anything and everything from day to day. I will write story ideas, poetry ideas, thoughts on books or other writing, etc. I will try to write in my journal everyday. This is more possible than my last blog because I can write on any subject and write story ideas and other stuff. Feel free to comment on anything. |
| Camp |
| The kids are leaving for camp after church tonight. I'm going to miss them! It will be weird just having my youngest with me for a whole week. I will get time to spoil her though! I like the thought of that. I hope my children hear good messages at church camp that move their heart. I know it doesn't last forever, but having a couple weeks attitude free will be a blessing for sure! Its going to be a quiet week. Yeah! |
| Goodbye weekend |
| I've put off writing this journal entry until I was sure that I could do it without too much emotion. When I am overwhelmed with emotion, I do not think properly and my writing is quite hard to follow and makes me sound like a drama queen. Not a good thing. I had a family reunion in Wisconsin over the holiday weekend. Seeing all of my family is always nice because they are all wonderful people, but it was very hard this time. My aunt and uncle are both dying of cancer. We had the reunion at their house because they are too sick to travel. My aunt doesn't know how long she has left and she is past the point of treatment. When we first got to their house, I went inside to see her. She immediately got a glass candle holder with a hummingbird that she gave me as her goodbye gift. She said she wanted everyone to have the thing she picked out for them so her daughter didn't have to mail them after she died. I wanted to cry. I still want to cry. I couldn't though because my children could not have been able to handle it. I went out to my van and sat alone until I could keep myself from crying. I went to find my mom to get a hug because I really needed one. Unfortionately, my aunt had done the same thing to her while I was at the van. She was at her car crying. I couldn't stay there and make her feel better because I couldn't handle it myself. I look at my aunt and remember my childhood. Anyone who knows me knows that I have very few memories of my childhood. My aunt is one of those few memories. I can remember her teaching me songs as I sat on the floor looking at her in awe. She was always so fun and played with us, sang with us, and loved us. A child remembers those things. I saw her sitting there on the couch with one leg (one taken to prolong her life) and it was too much. I had to help my children be ok around her so I couldn't let my feeling show too much. I spent the day talking with her as much as I could and spending time with the rest of my family. My uncle, who I remember as lively and fun, was small and shriveled. It was sad. He still had his normal sense of humor but it was obvious that he had given up. He says he does not want to live without his wife so he is not receiving any treatment for his cancer. His way of saying hello has become, "Welcome to the valley of death. Everyone who enters here dies." How could I respond to that? Especially after seeing my aunt and her giving me her goodbye gift? I was watching the fireworks with my husband and children and I started crying. No one knew of course. There was one firework that had the same colors as the hummingbird on the candle holder and I couldn't help it. The fourth of July is my favorite holiday, but how could I feel as I normally do when all that happened just two days before. So I've been putting off this journal entry so I didn't have to say all this, but until I write it down, I won't be able to move on. Hopefully it will no longer consume my thoughts. |
| Journal entry done for class |
| I finished posting my journal entry for class. I'm not exactly sure that it is what she is expecting. I am sure that it is over two hundred words though. That really isn't hard to do. I have class again tomorrow and I get another journal entry to do. I have to do a presentation in four weeks on language and writing. That ought to be fun since there are only two of us in the group. ought. that's kind of a weird word isn't it. It starts with an o but when a letter is put in front of it it becomes an a as in taught and caught. I guess fought is still with an o but it still pronounced the same. We had the last day of VBS tonight. It was cute. I was with the 4-6 year olds. They are adorable but have to use the bathroom a lot. That is difficult when there are 43 of them. At the end of the night is Lets Make a Deal. The kids always trade the treat for what's in the box. Then all the other kids chant "WE WANT THE FROG, WE WANT THE FROG, WE WANT THE FROG" I love it. It's deafening but wonderful. I loved my calculus class last night. I only got one problem for homework which was a bummer, but I always look forward to that class. Tomorrow I have my science class. I dreading it. I can't stand science. Ok, I can stand it, but it is my least favorite. |
| First day of summer quarter |
| I just finished my first class of the summer quarter. Language and Culture. It is with a professor I have never had before, and even though I am usually scared to death by that fact, I think that this class is going to be ok. I did not initially sign up for this class, but was put here when they cancelled the class I wanted to take. I am not complaining though because I had to take the class eventually. I does not seem to be what I expected, but rather it is how spoken language and body language is shaped and influenced by culture. It doesn't sound as boring as I expected. I created a new journal for my required journal entries for the class. I am hoping that it will encourage me, or at least give me more opportunity, to write in here each day. I have my Calculus IV class next and that I am really excited about. I love Calculus. That may make me a math geek, but I have come to terms that it is ok to be labeled such. I love it anyway. I have a short break now so I think I am going to get a small snack before class. I have coke and peanuts for dinner so I won't need much to hold me over.  |
| Library Budget Cuts |
| The new library system is very inconvenient. I have to drive to two different cities to return the audiobooks that my husband checks out to listen to while he is on the road. The old system was much better, because we were able to take them to our local library and they would return them for us. Another great thing gone thanks to our wonderful Michigan government. |
| Eyes |
| I looked into his eyes today, and he looked into mine. For a moment the whole world disappeared. I always pretend not to show how his eyes embrace my soul, but I think I let it slip today. Their sparkle will be my beam of joy during times I struggle. They will me my moment's peace in life's whirlwind. My heart will flutter as I picture them in my mind. I will smile. Then, maybe in the future, I'll get a dose of them again. |
| Culottes for camp |
| I am a new member of the Paper Doll Gang Blog City! I enjoy reading other people's blogs. I hope they enjoy mine as well. I start summer classes Tuesday. I'm trying hard to get my daughter's culottes done before I start classes. I know when I start I will have little time for anything extra. My children have a couple weeks before they go to camp, and the culottes need to be done before that. It is a church camp in Kentucky and all the girls are aloud to wear is skirts and culottes. My oldest only has two pair and I need to make more for her so she can have a few to make it through the week with ones that will match her shirts. At least that is what she convinced me when I bought the fabric. I don't mind making them, and it really doesn't take too much time. A few hours from start till finish, a few yards of fabric, and yelling at the cheap thread my husband bought me, and they are all done. |
| Exam week |
| Its exam week this week. This quarters exams don't seem to be as easy as previous quarters. The classes I've had this quarter were difficult to keep up with because of everything happening at home. I can't say that I'm not happy to finish another quarter, but I feel as though I missed so much this quarter. I feel as tough I should have learned more, or that something is missing. Maybe its just now that everything is settling down at home I'm finally able to take a breath. I've never had a quarter go by so fast. Its scary. The kids are at school and its really quiet at home. I'm going to study now for my exams. Four more days. Wish me luck. |
| Me me me |
| I didn't listen to a word you said I was sure you weren't talking to me I was busy with other things I had to worry about me. Me Me I was thinking of me I didn't think about you today I was absorbed with myself I had chores to do I couldn't put you in front of myself Me Me I was thinking of me I have no time for you I have no time for you I spend time with me I spend time with me Me Me I was thinking of me |
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