2012: The Year We Flip! (Book)

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Such Longing: A Poetry Collection

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Such Longing
Brian Keith Compton

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Tuesday
May 29, 2012
9:44pm EDT

>> Book >> Personal >> ID #1300042 | Show Details

2012: The Year We Flip!

Time to reinvent, remap, and redress my approach to writing & life...before it's too late!

Rated:
ASR

Brian Keith Compton

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THANK YOU alfred booth, wanbli ska

for the ribbon and continuous support!

(Formerly titled 2010: A New Odyssey...clearly it's too late for that.)

Lots to do before the Mayan calendar runs out. This blog will now become my bucket list. I've published before the year even starts. Next up, adopt a motherless duck and raise it to become a swan. Should be easy enough.

Reinventing myself from start to finish. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life.

I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, like I did when I was young and wanted approval from others. I do it now because I realize the fake me is so much more boring and unliberated than the real me. Time will tell if my open diary will be more appealing to readers.

~ Brian

My blogging days at Writing.Com began here >>>

1149750

My Journal

[13+]
This is my pulpit. I'm no preacher, just long to be heard like the rest of us.
by Brian Keith Compton

1369759

Thanks For The Memories Brett Favre

[ASR]
The yoyo Brett Favre and his re-re-return to football...AND one last shot at glory.
by Brian Keith Compton

Show most recent blog comments.

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

63 Days 10 Hours ago, in response to "Forced Myself"

Brian Keith Compton

said:

Thank you Alfred,

You succinctly state the risk factor and how I should approach basketball. I also find the game is like a drug when I am out there on the court, andrenalized and raring to go. I find that when I have had some time to be away from the game, I can be more rational. Even when I am writing in my blog, I am describing the Mr. Hyde side of me that comes out when I play.

I always have a plan when I go into the gym to be safe with the eyewear and other equipment all the way down to my shoes. But if an injury occurs and I am still itching to play, I can't talk myself out of going back out on the floor and trying again.

I believe, in part, the culture of the game teaches us that warriors go out there and play hurt. And while I can rationalize that I have nothing at stake by walking away after being injured, a big part of me still wants to play. I am the kid who wants to be outside playing with his friends rather than having to watch lonely and alone from his window as they frolic about.

There is some anxiety in knowing the other players keep playing without me, perhaps begin to forget about me if I don't get back out there. I don't have time on my side and perhaps my quest to complete some forgotten mission has muddled my thinking, but I keep thinking I still have one great play in me before I go home for the day. Even though, when I create this marvelous gem for my frail psyche to coddle, I seldom get an ovation or the cheers that have inspired me to play harder all my life. So, I have to keep trying to they clamor for my services.

The mentality is they have to hurt me a lot harder than that to get me to quit. If I can put a bandage over it to stop the bleeding, then I'm still good. I've kept playing through ankle injuries, which is difficult to do these days because my injury will balloon to twice the size if I don't get ice on it right away. But, all the while, I'm still assessing that injury and trying to figure out if I can still get out there and play.

It's unfortunate that you are unable to use your gift now, as I think about what you go through. If there was some magic potion or physical therapy, I would hope it could get you back to what you love -- something that helps give back to you and rewards you for your talent.

I never played an instrument. Not required when I was in school and could not pick up the piano or guitar when I had some private lessons. I sorely wanted to learn when I was young, because I was going to write songs and be a big star some day. I became a poet who likes to sing alone in rooms with good acoustics or to his children, when they will allow. I am old man who lost his dream of playing in the NBA.

So, I do thank God as often as I can for what has been bestowed upon me, an undeserving soul who cheats his way through life the best he can to get to a satisfying finish each day. I guess I cheat the game I love, if I do something that ends my play permanently. I will have to exercize better judgment.

I have been working on blog posts regarding the goggles situation and my own stupidity in these situations. Haven't had time to properly edit the entries to my satisfaction. I hope to be donning a new pair by the end of the week.

Thanks again for reading and being my sounding board.

Brian

63 Days 15 Hours ago, in response to "Forced Myself"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

It's hard admitting to ourselves that we can't do it any more. Your eyesight is a major handicap and in my opinion you're playing with fire by not doing what you need to do to have decent rec specs. Take care of that ASAP!

I can no longer force my hands to do what they don't want to do. I can suffer for weeks afterwards if I try to push myself back to my level of three years ago. Consider yourself so damned lucky that your only handicap is not being able (financially or emotionally, I suspect there's an even balance there...) to get new glasses so you can still be on the court.

I think it's extremely important not to stop playing. But from everything I've read for the last month here in your blog, I wonder seriously why you push yourself so hard. Neither one of us is 25 any more. We cannot honestly expect our bodies to respond like they once did, and when reading between the lines I cannot help but think you haven't accepted this reality.

Keep yourself in shape. Yes. Take risks with your body and your eyes: NO. Once you have that one accident, you'll regret have been so stubborn.

I had no accident. Just a misguided medical team who didn't listen to me when I spoke of pain. Knowing how important my hands are to me, they did nothing to suggest they were out of their depth and that maybe a specialist would be of help. My current problems could have been avoided. I should be able to maintain five hours of rehearsal in a single day. I can no longer get beyond 60-90 minutes once a day.

Please try to do your best not to aggravate yours.

74 Days 16 Hours ago, in response to "Point Guard For A Day"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

Sounds like if you'd left the court an hour earlier you would have had more energy to write!!!!!!

It's the only way. Regular work. I'm right now in a shit-filled place because I've a new tendinitis problem in my left elbow that's causing cramps in that thumb so I can't get to the piano daily like I should. My physical therapist told me if I don't continue giving my hands their daily workout muscular atrophy will add a new set of complications, which I'm discovering to be true.

So I admire your being able to psych yourself up to get to the Y every day. Of course you've got pain pills that help...

Keep plugging away!

79 Days 8 Hours ago, in response to "Finally, Respect...and how I lost it again!"

Brian Keith Compton

said:

Sorry Alfred, I just entered this 50-something era and am looking around at my accomplishments with little to justify my idle nature. Hanging around guys a lot younger than me and that ghastly light that hovers over my bathroom mirror frighten me and remind me of what I was...and what I could have been. I guess I can accept growing old, if I didn't have the baggage of regret.

Thanks very much for the acknowledgement with the ribbon for this blog. It is always a pleasure to see your participation and have you as a sounding board. Is that like a tuning fork? Are you helping me find my pitch?

I was going to blog a little about my brother and recollections of the past today, but discovered I lost an hour and have to be somewhere else soon. Time just keeps creeping up on me. Do you think when the poles shift or flip I might get some of it back?

79 Days 16 Hours ago, in response to "Finally, Respect...and how I lost it again!"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

You say it all here: "No one really knows me or what I am trying to achieve now going on 51.". The game is not JUST a game for you; there's always something you have to prove to yourself.

"Hidden agendas" are never good. And even more so, I'd say, in this situation where you've befriended so few people who might be able to stick up for you after "incidents" on the court.

But it's a great move on Alex's part to view you as a mentor. I hope that in seeing his eyes glow in appreciation and admiration you will find a way to stop looking for the paternal approval you never had.

And as a soon-to-be 57-year-old, 50 is NOT old!

83 Days 23 Hours ago, in response to "WDC Authors In Print"

Brian Keith Compton

said:

With writing, I find it difficult to create a schedule. I blame myself for seeing the kids as an obstacle to creating the type of environment I need to hammer out a complete manuscript.

I went through a lot of writing course during my college years and from time to time think about taking cues from some other writing courses. I joined a local writers group in my community, hoping to find inspiration to work one-on-one with others who also need help cultivating their novel attempts.

I do struggle with finding constant motivation, because I am inspired to get projects started that are seldom seen to completion. I keep wondering how I will sustain a drive. I think I just need constant association with a project, so it can never die.

Thanks for the input. I value your feedback.

Take care

83 Days 23 Hours ago, in response to "Yesterday"

Brian Keith Compton

said:

Thank You Alfred,

There were a lot of days I wish now I had blogged, because writing about this gives me perspective and helps me come full circle with the game I have loved since childhood. I want to find a way for this to relate, perhaps even fictionalize a character based on myself. I am not good at creating characters and would have to do some research.

87 Days 15 Hours ago, in response to "Yesterday"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

They say to write about what you know. I know nothing about the technical aspects of successful basketball playing, but your enthousiasm is obvious.

With a little bit of work you could easily write to the masses on this subject.

Working title: Blind Basket.

87 Days 16 Hours ago, in response to "WDC Authors In Print"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

Start by forcing yourself to do a blog entry every night before turning in. Then after a week, add 30 minutes of uninterrupted writing before the day's blog. Even if the blog gets four paragraphs per day, it's one way of getting back into the habit.

I go through regular bouts of "why bother?" I know myself well enough that I won't do the research necessary to finding which magazines to submit to or which publishing houses will be interested in my novel, which still needs massive editing. I have thousands of poems and my first problem has always been making a selection for a volume of them to be sent out. I've tried creating a data base to catalog them but got frustrated t the sheer enormity of the task after plowing through a mere tenth of my production. That project peddled out three years ago and of course as each consecutive year ends, there are even more items to be added.

But this research is a necessary step to anything other than self-publication. Then comes the promotion and that is another ball game altogether.

I earn my living off of my fist love: music, and adore teaching. Wasn't always that way. So I have an extremely regular and faithful creative outlet which means writing poetry is no longer a daily necessity.

Have you tried creative writing books or any of the classes offered here on WDC? That might be a good start. You need to find all the tips you can get to help you start writing on a regular basis. Because no one publishes a novel if they can't devote more than an hour a day to writing. Once those words are penned, they will need thrice the time in editing.

I thought that I would be able to do all of that. But, as was the case trying to become a concert pianist, if you don't know how to sell yourself and whom to sell yourself to, all the talent in the world won't help. And public relations is another job in and of itself.

Good luck!

94 Days 46 Minutes ago, in response to "And Then I Met Her..."

JennLuvCheese

said:

Your lady would appreciate it if you weren't such a gentleman all the time! As a matter of fact...feel free to be the exact opposite any time!

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---->> ID #680116 entered on 12-18-09 @ 4:16 pm EST

#89. How To Decide
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#88. Happy Holidays
---->> ID #678842 entered on 12-12-09 @ 10:18 pm EST

#87. Back From A Brief Blogging Hiatus...
---->> ID #673931 entered on 10-31-09 @ 1:20 am EDT

#86. R.I.P. Laptop
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#85. It's An Honor Just To Be Nominated...
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#84. Finally A Review & Thoughts On Email Notification
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#83. A response to a poem
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#82. Newsletters
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#81. Poem Redux
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#80. Thank You For The Honor
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#79. Tinkering With the Front Page
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#78. Linking Writing.Com articles on Google
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#73. Thinking of Mom...
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#71. A Forgotten Poem Returns...
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#38. Article Of The Day & GP Giveaway...CLOSED
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---->> ID #604161 entered on 08-28-08 @ 1:31 am EDT

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#34. Observations From A Blind Guy
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#33. Nothing Comes Easy Anymore
---->> ID #585291 entered on 05-15-08 @ 3:57 pm EDT

#32. Helium Poetry Contest
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#31. 1,000th view!
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#30. Withdrawal
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#28. The Lonely Blogger
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#27. Angry Blind Man
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#25. The Growing Helium articles
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#16. Reviewing Again
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#2. Nuther One of Those Days
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#1. For A Limited Time
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