I am now going to reflect on how well this wisdom from Mark Twain resonates with my soul right now:

Journey Begins!

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -- Mark Twain


This resonates with me because I have caught a vivid gimpse of what REALLY matters after what I consider to be my SHATTERING relocation and unexpected dismantlement of my formerly secure life. I realize that I DO have my family intact, cats and all, and that we are much "better off" here, not in a money sense, but in a whole-life sense. We haven't lost ANYTHING that we can't get back, replicate, replace, or do without! The fact that I am not my usual wildly happy self is situational, and nothing else. That happiness is coming back, slowly. It will just come at its own pace. Whether I like it or not! And so, if I donm't ermbrace this change now and play along with it until all of me is fully on board. I know that I will miss the good that is inherent in it, and the opportunities that are boundless. Just because I'm stuck in a pout doesn't mean that life is bad. Just because some stuff is ucky, that doesn't give me grounds for acting out. I need to deal with that,' painful as it seems. Just because I'm not tickled with everything doesn't mean that I should ;put off exploring, dreaming, or discovering!
 

September 24, 2009
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This is turning out to be another one of my highly jumbled, confusing days!! It is Allen's birthday; I started my day out by callinvg him and wishing him a happy day. He sounds better than he did last week, about his job. It's always disarming to hear distress in his voice. Whatever angst his age causes him, I'll ALWAYS be older!!
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The balance of sanity has shifted in the house today: Calvin-the-Cat, one of the BedHeads, has escaped from our room and is on the loose! I can tell that both KitchenCats, Pumpkin Pie and Shadow, are really pissed off about that. Calvin isn't overly friendly, either with humans or other cats! He's just so much better off locked in with the rest of the BedHeads!! Right now, he is just pretending to eat al of their food.
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I am enjoying this journal immensely! I want to get in the habit of journaling at last once per day again. I know that there will be assignment-related entries. It is my long-held belief that a unified record of life as opposed to a bifurcated record of goings-on and class experiences, is more honestly an account of the whole jenny. The whole jenny is what I've been striving to preserve and nurture all this time; that hasn't ended.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++My classes are going well so far! As I alluded to earlier, I may have bitten off as much as I can handle, given this milleu. Quiet is at an absolute premium here. Solitude is unheard of. I guess that is an only-child legacy that I'll never quit enjoying or valuing. Now that I'm part of a herd, I jut need to plan my quiet and solitude with precision, I want my experience in The Journey workshop to enable me to be a more intentional poet; more deliberate and focused. This is really my first exposure to intentional poetry, whatever that means. The first time I have openly acknowleddged myself as as post for real and not just in jest. Anyway, I intend to spend about an hour per day on each class, and an hour preparing my Cramp entry.






 

ENTY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2009

Today is Jenny Day, the 50th anniversary of the start of my life as a Jenson!!!! A lucky, special day! I have written a special poem to commemorate the event:


LUCKY!
{a hai-five to commemorate the happy anniversay of my adoption 50 years ago today!}

Lucky little girl
adopted when young and cute--
is now all grown up!

Life has proved its fun
opportunity abounds
for her happy life!

In her joyous life--
fifty years worth--adoption
fills her life with love

It's not been a breeze--
struggles forming life, alive
Who knows what comes next!!

I have always been--
despite all of life's pitfalls--
lucky lttle girl!!
© Copyright 2009 Jennifer A. (jennyj) Jenson (UN: jennyj at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Jennifer A. (jennyj) Jenson has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.

I am on a new Journey, the one of my new poetry workshop!! From it, I plan to work on my inner ME, including the new self that has had to emerge from the ashes of my old life
starting with our frantic, endless move back in February I now finally feel, after SEVEN long, chaotic months, that I finally have myself back again. n nThat was far from certain for most of those SAD, lonely months! I have NEVER moved well; my soul views it as an unnecessary uprooting and intrusion into my security. Now that I'm finally better at being me again, there's hope for progress again. I'm delighted to say that my self-preservation mode kicked in in full force IMMEDIATELY; I have found this wonderful site, and all the local radio stations thatI could ever hope for!!








 

LINE COUNT: 16

NEW PROMPT:
Write a story or poem about being granted a second chance.

SECOND TIME AROUND!
(an entry in honor of September 23, Jenny Day, the 50th anniversary of my adoption!)

This is my SECOND TIME AROUND--
I've hit it running, on the ground!!
And, there's happiness all around--
look at the new tricks I have found!

Tricks in the kitchen--don't be scared!
Burned dinners surely should be shared
and fresh potatoes must be pared
by cooks who cook as though they cared!

My life's now flying RIGHT again!
I know this high will end, but when
it does, I'll still shine bright, and then
I'll happily pick up my pen!

My writing is my life, and how!
My world goes 'round this big WOW!
I'm realy loving it, and now
I work and don't throw in the tow'el!
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This poem is my Jenny Day cramp entry! The cramp entry was my JD present to me!.
I didn't start out to sound this happy, but I guess I've undergone a metamorphosis of my own, spontaneously. Without my knowledge. But with my total napproval!!!!




 

SEPTEMBER 21, 2009

The tension is so thick here tonite that it is upsetting my stomach! Life in this borrowed house is never easy, and sometimes, it downright sucks!!:(. I started with a content rating of E for this journal; who am I kidding?? I cuss like a seasoned sailor; I will try to behave, as this is a class and most of my musings will be public. The only ones that won't be will be the small ones I write in my
J- timer book in bed. The J-timer is a device that I invented this past summer when I couldn't afford a REAL daytimer and was too depressed to adapt an old book to use for the current month. Happily, we now have a NEW daytimer on the way, to arrive soon!! And, the doorbell was finally fixed today, too, so I don't feel so hopelessly isolated from real life!! :). Even tho I know I really know I AM.

The real JOY in my life right now is having my own computer, with all of my writing, back again for the f irst time since February!!!!!:) :) :)!!!! I honestly never thought that I would ever see it again. I KNEW where it was, but had no assurance that it would ever work again. That was just a misunderstanding on my part; if I had told
Rick of my fears, he would have made this happen before now. He has been kind enough to let me borrow his all this time; it had a major Windows-induced meltdown on Saturday while he was at work. The next day, I had mine back!! It's good that I didn't know that that event was all it would take to effect a change. . . .

I'm afraid that I have bitten off too big a chunk with these classes again. There is just not enough time here to be quiet and contemplative!! I sit at this computer for 12 hours each day, and have a steady stream of talk from passers-by. I have found that a method of revenge is to make each one read the poem of the day, the cramp entry submitted for the next morning's competition. They'll learn, I'm sure! My goal for each class is to spend an hour per day r eading and writing. I just have to be together enough to bring my materials to bed to read in that dead time in the AM when I am awake and Rick is not. . . .




I wrote a good bit for t his date, and am not showing it as a separate entry! I have now found it and somehpw added it!!



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