I've gone back to the juvie jail. Mentally, that is. A little boy in fourth grade went there with me, being a smart a**. In an instant, my mind went back to my old job, and I told him off. He shut up and did his work.

I hate doing that. The whole reason I quit that place was because I hate being that way. Some people that work down there get their jollies from it yelling at kids. I'm not one of them. I wanted to come work with "regular" children so I could go back to being a "regular" person, because I was carrying that toughness around with me, even in my personal life. It's hard to be a certain way all day at work, then flip a switch on the drive home. I knew my personal kids needed a different mom than I was being.

I know good and well this child deserved what he got from me. He's had it coming a long time. That doesn't make it any easier.
 

Sam took the kids with him to a church event, and I actually got out it. I have cleaned up the house all day, and I was tired, so that got me out of having to go. Whenever the other members of my family are off doing something, I have this bad habit of taking off to do something to suit myself. That is my Sanity Preservation Strategy Number One. Tonight, although I WAS physically tired, my reluctance to go was more of a not wanting to be around a crowd of people. The thought of having to make conversations was more than I could emotionally handle. Although I didn't saythat out loud - even making an explanation was too much trouble. Especially to my extrovert husband who thrives on being around people.

Tonight I went to Chick-Fil-A for a chicken sandwich before going to the bookstore. At Chick-fil-A I went through the drive-through. Now, there's something about the Chick-Fil-A employees that gets me. Every one of them does it - it must be part of their training. They always want to know if I need any "condiments." Who in the world says "condiments" in natural conversation? For some reason, even though this is a tiny thing, it kills me for them to say this. It just sounds so phony for them to say "Would you care for any condiments? " Tonight I was feeling giddy from just having recovered from being sick, as well as getting rid of my family. Plus I have a naughty streak. I responded "No, I practice safe chicken sandwich eating."

Which was the stupidest thing anybody in the world could have said. I mean, my little dumb dog could have thought up a better comeback than that. But the woman almost fell out of the drive-through window laughing. It gave me the big-head that she thought it was so funny. Because as soon as it came out of my mouth, I got embarrassed at myself. I couldn't think of anything better to say than that? I must be getting old - I get cornier by the year.

Oh, and who elseo does this? I got home before Sam did. So, naturally, I took my books and put them on the shelf right quick where he wouldn't notice that I had bought anything. Not that he would say anything about it - well, he may and he may not - but what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right? Some things are for me to know and for him not to find out. I have done this with clothes too - just slid them in the closet. Even when I put them on, he doesn't tend to notice because I buy such nondescript clothing. I just wondered how other people handle the not-wanting-the-spouse-to-see-what-they-bought thing.
 

I spent yesterday at the hospital. Sam and I both wound up with a stomach virus - he had it a lot worse than I did, so I took him to the emergency room. I can't STAAAAND going to the ER, you have to sit around at wait HOURS for anything to happen, but it was better than listening to him moan and groan.

Both of us feel somewhat better today, but we aren't quite up to snuff, so we took today off too. Plus, we didn't have any business exposing our co-workers to it.

My mother took the kids last night. I think it's the first time ever she's done that. It was nice, not having to fix them supper and give them a bath, plus I didn't have to get up and take them to school. Sweet! Not having to fool with children is a big contributor to the getting-well process.

My to-do list for today: perpetrate some serious laziness.
 

Things I have done that make me feel smug

I took over the finances back in the fall. They are in much better shape than they were. I paid off two credit cards and got caught up on several things we were behind on. This month, we actually had some extra money.

My mother's dog keeps biting her on the hand. He did it again Friday. Her hand is swelled up and she had to take antibiotics. She won't do anything to him for biting her. That's not what makes me feel smug, this is: he bit me one day when she had asked me to dog-sit while she wasn't there. I took care of the problem, and he doesn't so much as breathe loud when I'm around. I'm a big dog lover, always have been . . . except for this dog. If you see a black poodle sailing over your house, you'll know he bit me again and I knocked hell out of him.

My assistant is always bragging on how well she copes with our students. Don't get me wrong, I like my assistant, but this IS something she does. Every time I'm out, she brags on how well the classes behave in the library, even the ones that usually try to act up, with the implication that she gets them to act much better than I do. She got to bragging this morning on how well she gets along with our obnoxious fifth-graders. So, I decided to let her put her money where her mouth is. A notoriously talkative fifth-grade class came in today - or I should say, they CAN be talkative, but not in the library most of the time because we make them keep a lid on it. Once I passed out the work and got them working on it, I got in the background with my mouth shut and let her handle it, which is something I don't usually do. They were much louder than when I stay on them. I hope this shuts her up on the bragging.

Emily is eleven. Puberty is around the corner. I had a minor version of "the talk" with her, the one about becoming a woman. I don't think I did a bad job. It was uncomfortable as all get out, but I have found that with sensitive things it is best to present it matter-of-factly, not as if there is anything to be embarrassed about.

I've started eating vegetables, even the ones I don't like. I ate a bunch of broccoli the other day. Well, a bunch for me is about five stalks. I'm also back to taking vitamins - a multi, and a Vitamin C. Plus I bought some V-8 juice, which, oddly enough, I love. It's the only vegetabley thing that I do like. It's surprising what a difference it makes - I have energy coming out my ears.

 

Weird things

Around seven in the morning I was on my way to work, and had to stop at Wal-Mart, which was on my way. I needed gas as well as something from inside the store. I decided to go inside the store first, and then get gas. I was only in the store around ten minutes. By the time I came out, the gas had gone up four cents a gallon. I was got off with Wal-Mart, believe me.

All the kids have a hamper for their clothes. Matt calls his a "pantry." I can understand a little kid getting his words mixed up, but why "pantry"? It would seem like a cross between laundry and hamper, almost, but not quite.

When Emily was two, instead of magazine, she said mazagine - she got the z and g sounds mixed up. To this day when I say the word magazine, I have to stop and think which one is correct. Before Emily getting them mixed up, I never had to - it was her putting it in my mind that messed me up. She also said wagon station for station wagon,. which was the type car we had at the time,. but my mind didn't get mixed up on this one for some reason.

There is a little boy at my school who shares Matt's middle and last names. He also has my birthday.

The people who we bought our house from have a little girl who was born the exact same day as Emily.

Emily has a best friend who has a little sister who was born the exact same day as Anna Claire.

When I was still working at the juvie jail, I took a day off to interview for my current job. About two weeks later, one of the security guards from "up the hill" let me know that the principal who I interviewed with had called him to check on me. I kind of looked at him funny because I had not put him down as a reference. It turned out that his wife is the office manager at the new school. I was looking forward to meeting her, but I don't like her near as well as I like him. He's extremely nice, but she's abrupt and snobby, although she can be nice if she wants to. What makes nice men marry heifers like that?
 

Report on Spring Break
I just wanted to let y'all know that I hadn't croaked - I just had a really busy Spring Break.

We went to see my father-in-law, three hours away. That took one whole day. We didn't spend the night. Paw-in-law didn't have room for us, and we were too stingy to pay to spend the night anywhere. That wide-spot-in-the-road town he lives in doesn't have a hotel anyway. He did take us to a good place to eat, called Jake's Restaurant, in Chatom, Alabama. Just to look at this place, it wasn't much, but the food was delicious.

Also, some of our church members had pulled their RV up to a campsite at Roosevelt State Park, about thirty minutes from us, and we spent the day with them. Hubby and the kids fished, and I read. Matt caught a fish! He was so proud of himself. When his teacher asked what they did on Spring Break, catching the fish was what he reported. Then that night, their nephew, who had another campsite not far off, had a fish fry with fish he had caught himself. Yum yum! And no, we didn't eat the fish Matt caught. After supper we had music - one man had his guitar, and they had asked hubby to bring his fiddle. Sitting around the campfire listening was nice.

We had a bunch of errands to run that we had saved up for our week off - getting insurance business taken care of and stuff like that - and we spent a couple of days doing that.

So much for the rest I had looked forward too, but still, it was nice.

Let me ask you a question . . .
Do you think the State of Pennsylvania will ever be the same after that crew gathers up? I thought about calling the Governor's Office and warning him about it. They will never be the same after this week.

What would you do in this situation?
My assistant told me of something that had happened to her, which I thought was hilarious. At the same time, I was glad didn't happen to me.

She and a friend of hers went to the "adult novelty" store, as she called it. When she walked in, there was her college-age daughter.

I said that she couldn't say anything to her daughter, since she was in there herself. She just grinned and agreed with me. I could only laugh and be glad it didn't happen to me!
 

My internet at home hasn't worked since last weekend. The repairman finally came this morning. He climbed up the pole outside our house and discovered that a squirrel had chewed on . . . I don't know what the squirrel did chew on, but I hope he enjoyed whatever it was. One time years ago, when we lived in a different town, our electricity went out because a squirrel had chewed something up in the power line.

Today is the start of Spring Break. Hooray! The kids and I are going to a movie in a few minutes.

One of the elderly ladies in our church died over the weekend. Of what, I'm not sure - general old age, I think, since she had several things wrong with her. They called hubby Saturday to see if he could preach the funeral today at two. He told them his classes didn't end until two, and would three be all right? I asked him what classes was he talking about, since he's having Spring Break too. He hit his head in an "I'm stupid" gesture, and went to call them back.

My mom is sick with a sinus infection, or at least that's what I think it is. The fruit stand across the highway has opened back up for the spring - hooray! - so I went over there to see what I could find to take her to make her feel better. I wound up with a plant and a bag of tomatoes for a 'mater sandwich. Then I threw in a tape of The Sound of Music that I got at a garage last weekend, unopened. (I suppose you can tell you're a redneck if you take your mom gifts from the fruit stand and a garage sale.) When I got over there, my grandmother told me she had gone to the doctor. I felt deflated. Oh well, we're going to take them over there after the movie.

My husband had nine hundred of his things scattered around my family room. On the couch, all over the piano, on the computer desk, on the floor by the recliner. He had been promising me he would clean it up. For MONTHS. Last night I threw the whole caboodle in a great big box and put it in his closet.
 

Playtime
Remember Spirograph? Here's the online version:

http://wannabe.guru.org/lynn/apps/

I've had a big time sitting here at my job playing with it. Yep - the tax dollars of Mississippi at work.

My behind-the-times moment of the week
I have just discovered George Carlin.

I've known who he WAS my whole life, and I've seen him on TV a couple of times. Friday I got off work a little early and went to the bookstore, and one of the things I picked up was . . . well, I'm ashamed to say I don't remember the name of it, but it contained a lot of what he said. I kept embarassing myself by laughing out loud - I was wondering how I missed out on this over the years.

I Googled George Carlin, and here are some of his quotes.

I am at work. One of the local churches, Broadmoor Baptist Church, volunteered to do some work around our building, so our principal wanted the staff to put in an appearance. We don't have to help with the work, we just had to show our face. It's kind of nice to be in my room getting stuff done. I brought Anna Claire with me, and she is enjoying reading and coloring.

And guess what? Evidently one of the prominent news anchors from the Jackson area goes to Broadmoor. I saw him outside helping with some landscaping when I drove up, and I pointed him out to Anna Claire. When I got out of the car, he came up and introduced himself to me. Exciting! It gave me the big head that Mr. Famous Man would come meet me.

Here is a link:

http://www.wapt.com/newsteam/2686021/detail.html

Isn't he a hottie?