Things for me have been crazy lately... absolutely crazy. There's a lot of detail I won't go into because... well because I just shouldn't, but I am going to rant a bit.

Just because someone signs a letter 'with Love', does not mean that you are dating them! (No, it was not my husband who thought this.) I have someone essentially accusing me of having a relationship farther than friendship with someone just because they signed an email to me that way. It's absolutely rediculous. I've known the man for almost nine years, yes we love each other, but there are different levels of love.

There's friendship love - it DOES exist, and it can be very strong. I tell my long term friends that I love them all the time, there is nothing wrong with that. It does not mean that I seek a sexual relationship with them, or any other kind farther than friendship, for that matter. To think that way is idiotic.
 

... is HOT!!!

So, we went out to do the typical family stuff yesterday. Or rather, I went out to do the typical family stuff with my kids - my husband had to be in IN the parade we went to watch and IN the band we went to see. But that's alright, going to the park was fun.

Only thing is, it was hot out there. Like... really hot! Dry heat, practically the worst kind. We sat out and watched the parade, waving to daddy like we're supposed to, then sat down to watch the Resonators play. They're a pretty darned good little local band with a lot of our friends involved. www.theresonatorsonline.com is their website... I think.

Anyway! I walked down there, since it was only a few blocks and since there were a ton of cars, but my son fell asleep before his daddy got on the stage to play, so we walked back home. That was the worst part of it.

Back home is all the way uphill, and a double stroller with one year old twins in it is a bit heavy. So my husband and I kept trading off the entire way since he decided to walk me home, and we made it. We were hot, sweaty, and in desperate need of a shower... but we made it. Hubby was 15 minutes late to his warm-ups, but oh well.

We tried to watch the fireworks that night, but the kids were not really all that interested for longer than approximately two minutes.

So... that was the kid's second 4th of July. Hopefully, it'll get better as they get older.
 

Cowboy U

So, Saturday afternoon my husband and I sat watching Cowboy U: Texas... mainly out of curiosity since it had been filmed at a ranch about 10 minutes from our house. I think it is the first reality show that we have actuallly enjoyed! What was even funnier to us is when one of the prizes for doing well was that two of them got to go to a local country bar.

Yeah... the country bar is about three blocks from my house.

When they were taping here I went to a local bar with a friend of mine (NOT the country bar) in March or so, and we ended up sitting at the same table with the entire crew of Cowboy U. That was kinda nifty, too, especially since one of them was sincerely trying to pick up my friend. He tried me, but backed off when he found out I was married. (Probably tried me first simply because I'm more personable.)

My friend has like... REALLY long hair, though... so it's always a conversation topic. She's also pretty... eh... easy, but very picky. She's only easy to those that she -wants- to be easy with. Unfortunately for this poor camera man, she wanted a different guy that night. Didn't get him, but oh well.

Guilty Pleasures

Okay, so I must admit... one of my biggest guilty pleasures is Jerry Springer. I can't tell you why, but I just love it. Absolutely love it. Usually, I figure every guest is an idiot, so I can laugh at them to my heart's content.

Today, though, there was a guy that seemed to have his head on straight. The topic was "Homeless Shelter Romance", and the one who brought them there was a 19 year old woman who has a 17 month old and a 6 month old. She came to tell her current boyfriend that she'd been sleeping with his best friend. Typical, right?

Well, she made the usual complaints. "You're never home!" "You don't spend any time with my kids!" "You've got a lame job!" "I want a house!"

Well, so far, he seems pretty sleezy, right? Well, for one, the kids weren't his. For two, the reason he's never home is because he's going to school to get his high school diploma. She's pissed that he's not making more money, but I'm sorry... I applaud the man for going back to school! At least he's trying to make something long term out of his life. All he asked her was to wait until he could get his diploma, then things would be better.

The guy she started bumping in the bathroom of the homeless shelter supposedly has three jobs making $15 an hour. Well good for him! But her first guy is going to make more after he gets that education.

Basically, she's leaving him because he's getting an education rather than supporting HER kids, whom she should be supporting anyway. He wants a house, he wants her, he wants to take care of her family... but he feels he needs that diploma first. In all honesty, that is the first man on Jerry Springer that I have ever felt sorry for. He's trying to better himself, and this woman and his best friend are saying, "You go get your edjumication, then! I'll take your woman."

And I wonder why so many kids are dropping out of school...
 

So... I was trying to actually get some work done this morning for the upcoming school year. In actuality, I am starting a bit too late, but considering that I didn't know I even had the job until last week, I'm doing what I can.

I was reading through a scope and sequence for Geometry when I heard my daughter giggling. I had felt her scooting her way back and forth past my legs several times, but what she was doing hadn't registered yet, mainly because I was concentrating. I finally started paying attention, and I noticed what she was doing.

I was sitting in a recliner. She often uses this particular chair to pull herself up and begin practicing her walking. Her scooting back and forth was her looking around the paper I was reading and making faces at me, giggling, then moving to look around the other side of the paper. It was absolutely hilarious.

I immediately started playing her little game by adding in a 'boo' every time she was able to see me. This got her to giggling even more, which got my son's attention. So he came up and grabbed the top of my papers, pulling those down so he could see me that way. This brought more giggles from both of them, of course, and the game continued.

It lasted for quite a while, and I had a blast. My children really helped lift my spirits today. Granted, I haven't gotten back to my work yet, but it can wait.
 

You know... I don't understand something about myself. Truthfully, I probably don't understand a lot of things about myself, but this is one thing that has me completely boggled.

You see, there's this person that I know. I knew this same person a long time ago, reached out in friendship, and essentially got my hand slapped. Fine, they didn't want it... I didn't care. I moved on.

Well, we met up again about a month ago. This time, it seemed to be going fine. We were talking, getting along, laughing a bit, getting to know one another. Hey, it was a great start... but then I made a joke. It's how I am, those who know me know that I joke around. Well, this person didn't appreciate it. It wasn't even a mean joke. They mentioned that they'd be back in a moment, and when they came back, I jokingly said that it was a long moment.

Well, there it all went. Blown apart as if it were a hydrogen bomb dropped in the middle of the city. He said he did not appreciate someone dictating the time to him, and that he was perfectly aware of what time it was. I said fine, it won't happen again, he asked me not to talk to him anymore... so I didn't.

A few days ago he contacts me... and it's all friendly again, so this morning, I send him an IM to say hello. Well, there went another H-bomb. How can we ever talk if I won't respect a simple request? Again he asked me not to speak with him again unless it's business.

The thing is, I don't even know why I care about this so much! Is it because I took the time to try and be friendly and all I get is yelled at for it? I have no idea why this person, who is almost a perfect stranger in all respects, can make me feel so much like shit!

I hate that this person has this much control over me. It is absolutely rediculous, and I am not going to allow it anymore. Once wronged, shame on you... twice wronged, shame on me. I shouldn't have let it happen again, and I'm not going to. If he contacts me again, I just won't respond.

This is absolutely unbelievable.
 

Well, I have to admit that my exhausting job search has come to an end... right where it began.

I got a call yesterday asking if I would accept the math position at the jr/sr high school that released me back in March. The same day I got that call, I got another offering me a job at a Credit Union, and I was waiting on word for a job that I applied for at the University. It was a crazy crazy day.

I didn't get the University job, so I went ahead and took my old job back. Instead of teaching computer classes, though, I'll be teaching math all day long. That is an aspect that I don't mind one iota. I didn't major in Computer Science for a reason.

So, I'm going back to the place that was a hell hole last year as long as the school board approves me at their meeting on Monday. Horrah... kinda. At least there's new administration, so it has hopes of getting better.
 

51. My breasts grew a little bigger when I had babies - they haven't shrunk yet.

52. I hate my stretch marks, but I do love the fact that because of them the skin on my tummy is softer than the skin anywhere else on my body.

53. I am a good judge of people.

54. I can tell when someone is upset, even when on the net and they are trying to pretend that they are fine.

55. I am an understanding person.

56. I can often put myself in another person's shoes and understand how they feel, even if I disagree with them.

57. I can be professional to the point that my boss has no idea whether or not I like them or hate them.

58. I am good in bed... after all, I was trained by the best. (My husband, of course.)

59. I can appreciate beauty of any kind, whether in nature, in a person, or even on a painting.

60. I eat well... most of the time.

61. I have freckles, so I can say I always have a partial tan!

62. I love people... yes indeed. I am quite the people person!

63. I believe that people watching is actually the best thing about going to a mall - not the stores.

64. I'm okay with not buying something I want because I don't have the money.

65. I like to have fun... I really like to have fun.

66. I love how my kids rush toward me and pull up to each stand on one of my feet so I can't go anywhere until I pick them up every day when I come home from work.

67. I am going to get my book finished this summer. I am determined.

68. I can solve any math problem I put my mind to. It may take me a few weeks, but I'll solve it!

69. I try not to spoil my children too badly (though a little spoiled can't be too bad, right?)

70. I can watch all three Harry Potter movies all the way through without budging from my seat... as long as I have my snacks nearby.

71. I love food. Anyone with me?!?

72. I can make my husband happy after a rough day.

73. I never have a 'bad hair day' - just a ponytail day.

74. I have ugly feet, but I like going barefoot anyway because I'm not ashamed of them.

75. Looking back, I wouldn't change anything about my past - good or bad. I learned from the experiences, and that is what is important.

76. I cry... a lot... sometimes too much...

77. I look good in my jeans.

78. I have a nice ass.

79. My husband wants to start a coffee shop one day. If he does, I'll drop whatever I'm doing and support him.

80. I have a great shoulder - it's seen a lot of tears.

81. I don't have a problem apologizing to someone if it is needed.

82. I am tolerant of other people's beliefs and would rather talk about them out of curiosity than argue because they are different from me.

83. I really don't think looks matter much - they are just icing on the cake. Show me what's inside, that's what I care about.

84. I'm proud of myself for getting this far.

85. I am a good driver, even if my husband doesn't think so. How else would my driving record be flawless? (Yes, I do drive myself to work every day.)

86. I let my husband have his little pleasures without nagging him about it, even if I might hate them. (The occasional cigar, etc.)

87. I don't smoke, nor will I ever.

88. I drink very rarely, and when I do, it's only one.

89. I am a designated driver quite often.

90. I reach out to people who have trouble making friends, and I hang on even when they want to push me away.

91. I like being short.

92. I wear sunscreen whenever I go out into the sun so I don't get burned.

93. I'm punctual as long as I'm not talking to someone on the internet.

94. I ignore the fact that I'm lactose intolerant and eat the things that I want anyway... though I must admit that I do take the lactaid every now and then.

95. I am not ashamed to show my husband that I love him while in public.

96. I eat popcorn instead of chocolate occasionally because it's healthier.

97. I love reading anything and everything - especially descriptive fantasy that takes my imagination to another world. It's how I relax.

98. I have a lot of energy.

99. I can find almost anything on the internet? Wanna test it out? Try me!

100. I just wrote 100 great things about myself. What's better than that?
 

Okay, so I'm taking another one of MOO for President 's ideas. What can I say, he has a lot of them!

Correction, apparently Moo stole the idea from Love is a Mommy (no foolin) , so this entry is all her fault.

So, here's the 50 greatest things about me, in no particular order. Warning: You will learn a lot about me in this list.

1. I have two absolutely beautiful children that I love more than anything. I even think I'm a pretty darned good mom.

2. I have a wonderful and understanding (at least most of the time) husband.

3. I have great friends. They may not live here with me anymore, but still having contact with them is great.

4. I am a very loyal friend and will bend over backwards to help even the people that I dislike.

5. I don't lie, even when the consequences of telling the truth would be harmful to me. I'd rather face them then be found a liar.

6. I am comfortable with my size, even though I am bigger than I was before I had children.

7. I have beautiful eyes. They change between blues, greens, and grays depending on my feelings or what I'm wearing.

8. I will try anything to make someone smile when they are feeling bad, even if I don't know them.

9. I am a good writer of poetry. I don't care what everyone else thinks, I know I am.

10. I am a patient person, though it did take a few years for me to learn that patience.

11. I have a big heart, and fall in love often. Love is a precious and glorious thing.

12. I successfully made it through a trauma that most women don't... an attempted rape. I still have some problems, of course, but I did not withdraw into myself.

13. I am generally a very happy person, and I try to be fun to be around.

14. I know when I'm annoying, and try to fix the situation ASAP.

15. I am a funny person. Okay, so maybe the funny things don't strike me all that often, but when they do, I send more than just myself into giggles.

16. I like my hair... no really, I do! It isn't always the same color (because I love to play with hair dye), but it is soft and shiny. Very healthy.

17. If I make a mistake, I fix it... period. I will do whatever it takes to make it right.

18. I love to dress up. Makeup, nice dress, high heels... yup, I love it. It makes me feel good when I look good.

19. My self-esteem has risen unbelievably since getting married, and I owe that to my husband. Before we met, I was depressed quite a bit.

20. I love to give people things that will make them smile. Presents, really.

21. I give awesome hugs.

22. I think I am a good kisser. Wanna test it out?

23. I am intelligent. I may have to work hard to learn what I need to learn, but I can do it.

24. I can do anything I set my mind to, and I mean anything.

25. I love to draw, even though I'm horrible at it. It's relaxing.

26. I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Mathematics. I worked hard for it and am very proud of it.

27. I love kids, especially high schoolers. They can be so much fun, but are misunderstood by so many adults.

28. My students like me. Believe it or not, that means a lot to me.

29. I adore helping people learn. Because of my own difficulties, I know how hard it can be, and I want to offer what support I can.

30. I can find humor in most situations, though sometimes I need some help.

31. I am willing to ask for help if I need it (unless I'm mad about something.)

32. I'm a great cook, my husband's stomach attests to it. Honest!

33. I love being pampered, but I don't mind pampering in return.

34. I love looking at nature. Flowers, trees, animals... you name it, I love it.

35. I am not like everyone else, I pride myself on being an individual.

36. If I had to choose between being rich and being happy, I'd choose being happy any day. Money isn't everything.

37. I was a virgin until I met my husband.

38. I don't mind giving pleasure during sex, but not receiving. I know that I'll get my pleasure returned eventually.

39. I like to be wanted, rather than needed. Though, being needed is nice, too.

40. I want to be someone who is remembered, even after I die. I am working on making sure that memory is a good one for all I know.

41. I think sunsets and sunrises are some of the most beautiful things on this earth, and that more people should spend time watching them.

42. I believe in God, and trust him very much. Without him, I would not be where I am today.

43. I strive to be a good wife and mother.

44. I will be published someday.

45. I am good at coming up with silly questions to make people laugh.

46. I believe in myself, even when it seems like things won't work out.

47. I have bad teeth, always have, but I smile anyway. Smiles are contagious, you know.

48. I like being girly sometimes, but I don't mind getting down and dirty, or sweaty, if the need is there.

49. I used to hate pink, but now it's one of my favorite colors thanks to my best friend, Rhonda.

50. I have a wonderful mind, and I use it often.
 

I'll use one word to describe it for you for those who don't wish to read a long entry: LONG!

For the rest of you, I'll explain why.

The Thing!

We started seeing advertisements for The Thing! even before we left New Mexico. The first sign I saw read. "The Thing! Can you guess? 291 miles." We laughed... 291 miles, yeah right! Well, apparently the billboards worked. With every advertisement, we got more and more curious, gullible Texans we are and all.

So, we finally get to the exit for The Thing! hours later, and we go ahead and get off. We figure it wouldn't hurt anything, we needed a break anyway.

So, we paid our dollar a piece and went through the door to see what The Thing! was, and... oh, wait, I'm not going to tell you what it was. I will tell you, though, that it is majorly cool walking through that door, and I highly recommend stopping to see it. It's in Texas Canyon, Arizona.

So... we start on our way to Tucson.

Tucson

We are on our way to Tucson, and really looking forward to it since we were going to stop there and get some lunch. Our tummies were rumbling. So we see this sign that says:

Well, it's my last day with the students, at least, I still have to stick around to finish grades and pack, but no more students.

I told myself that I wasn't going to cry, and I actually made it until about noon. I'll explain.

This morning I didn't have anyone taking exams, so I knew I'd be okay. After the last exam, we had award ceremonies - first for the Junior High, then for the High School. I gave awards to kids that probably wouldn't get any awards from anyone else... mainly because it's what I do. I don't award the best student, or the funniest student... I award those who are silent contributers and often go unnoticed.

I actually made it through both ceremonies just fine. To make sure that I wouldn't find myself in a situation to cry, I bolted out of there and headed straight down to the cafeteria for lunch. Because it's a half day, and because the students got out early, most were not eating there, so I thought I'd be safe.

Close to the time when I was about to finish up and leave, two students walked through the door. Both of these students had been on my Number Sense team, and they were in my classes - so they spent more time with me than probably any other students on this campus. (Another of my number sense/geometry students hugged me earlier, but I didn't cry!)

They said hello and have a good summer to the coaches, then they turned toward me. One of them said my name, and she was already blubbering, speeding toward me with her arms wide open for a hug. She held on for a little while, and as a result, I started to cry to. This was one of my students that I had given an award to... she was devistated last week when she found out that she didn't pass our state test.

"I can't believe I didn't pass it, miss." She was crying.

"It's alright. Remember how I said I wouldn't be upset as long as you did your best? Did you do your best?"

"Yes, but I've always been bad at math. I hate math. Yours is the only class I ever liked, and it wasn't the math that I liked, it was the way you taught it."

"Well that's alright. Everyone doesn't have to be good at math. You'll have another chance to pass next year, and I'll bet you blow them out of the water with your awesome score!"

"I guess my best just wasn't good enough, Miss."

"No, don't ever say that. It's not true... your best is just fine. I think you did a wonderful job. A score is just a score - tomorrow will still go on, and you can still learn new things."

"You really aren't mad?"

"No... I'm not mad. I think you are a wonderful student."

And she IS a wonderful student. She is one of the many that I'm really going to miss.

My other students was often more of a pain, and always flirting with all of the boys, but I loved her just as much. She fanned her face to be sure that she didn't cry, then gave me a big hug, too.

Why does this have to be so hard? I really do hate it...
 

I have some questions here that you may chuckle at, or perhaps even just answer them by pasting them in your journal and replying here with a link to the entry, or answering them right in your reply! They are just for silly fun, so you can be serious or not when answering them, all up to you!

1. If you were a kind of alcohol, what would you be and why?

2. (For a man)What is the likelyhood of you dressing up as a woman for one evening if someone promised you a free meal and no pictures taken? If you would accept the offer, what would you wear?

3. Some people say that Eeyore is bent on destroying the world - how would you describe the not so loveable, but adorable, donkey?

4. If you could teach high schoolers any subject, what would it be? (It doesn't have to exist already.)

5. Have you ever been in a situation where you knew you should be embarassed, but somehow you weren't? What was it?

6. What is your favorite food? How does this favorite food describe your personality?

7. What's the strangest thing you've ever done for yourself in reward for a job well done?

8. If you really really hated someone, but they needed help and you were the only person that could help them, what would you do and why?

9. If you were put in a position to give your best friend an award (silly or serious), what award would you give them?

10. Would you be willing to wear a purple beehive wig for an entire day just for the fun of it? (I have one... you could borrow it if you really want. ::winks:: )

11. What do you REALLY think baloney is made of? (Come on, don't be shy...)

12. If you had to choose between staying in a house with a no roof on a rainy night or staying with your dog in the doghouse, what would you choose?

13. Are you willing to hold a woman's purse for a moment while they use the restroom?

14. Imagine you had the perfect pet - what would he/she be like?

15. What is the strangest name you have ever given an animal that you own? Did that animal seem to resent you for it?

Don't forget to check out my new contests dealing with silly questions and answers!! "Invalid Item"  and "Invalid Item" 
 

So, yesterday I had to turn down a really awesome job, so I should be down in the dumps today, right? Well, not so. I got a phone call this morning asking if I could take a summer position at the same campus so I could get paid during the summer and I could still take the position. Unfortunately, I couldn't take that either because it starts NEXT WEEK, and my husband is under contract through the end of June.

What makes it such a feel good thing is that they didn't just take my 'no' and sit around with it. They decided to try something else to see if it would help, which means that they really do want me there. Gosh that feels great! To be wanted - I know that sounds a little funny, but it still makes me wanna sing.
 

I just had a discussion with my husband, my mother, and my previous future employer. Between us, I think we decided that we're not going anywhere. It's really sad when you can't afford to move, but for this move, because of the paycheck lag, we would need approximately $10,000-12,000. I'm afraid that is a hole we would never find our way out of, so I am not going to let us risk it. If we didn't have children, sure, we could find a way.

I am a little upset about losing this opportunity, yes, but I can draw unemployment for a while - as long as I prove that I have been trying to find a job. At least the unemployment is SOMETHING coming in every month, as opposed to the nothing I'd be receiving for two and a half months if we left.
 

See my title? That is how long I will have to go without a paycheck if I take this job. That and the fact that my husband does not have a guaranteed job in the city we will be moving to.

Not only that, we'd have to find somewhere to live, somehow find the deposit money for a rental property, find a way to continue paying on our house until it is sold, and find childcare.

In order to accomplish this, I'd have to find a way to get a new job where I live for the summer, move while I have that job, find another job IMMEDIATELY after we get there, and continue that one until I get my first paycheck. My husband will have to look for TWO jobs.

This all seems absolutely impossible. I don't think we're going to be going anywhere.
 

So... I discussed that whole issue with my husband last night. Here was our biggest problem - no matter which choice we made, one of us is left without a job and searching. We can barely make ends meet with two jobs, there's no way we could do it if one of us was out of work.

We made the decision to leave, but working this out is going to be difficult. Really difficult... My husband really needs to find a job. This is a mess...

We also have the house to think about, and the kids, and the animals, and... and... and... ::shakes her head::
 

Okay, so I was ranting and raving about the issues that I was facing at my work yesterday, and today I got a message (that was actually left for me yesterday) asking me to call some Loni person back. Well, I didn't know a Loni, so I kinda raised my eyebrow and started dialing.

Well, it was another of the jobs that I applied for. I had felt really confident after the interview, and I had been hearing that my references were being called in this last week. My suspicions were confirmed when I talked to the woman on the phone.

"The superintendent has approved your contract, and we are stending it out to you today. You need to get it back to us by June 2nd."

Whoa! Not even an, 'Are you still interested in this position.' The fact that they've already had it approved by the Superintendent is surprising, too. Usually that doesn't happen until a little later. It makes me feel good that they might actually want me in that position that badly.

The only issue is that we'd have to move to go there. It's a bigger school, with more resources, more technology, and I'd be making a lot more money. I'd also have bigger classes, but that's okay with me. The more kiddos I get to have in my classroom, the better!

So... now I have to have 'the discussion' with my hubby tonight. Do we move, or do we not?
 

Alright, so the other math teacher retired so I could get my job back, right? Well, come to find, I don't just automatically get it back. Instead, I have to reapply and reinterview. In other words, I have to put my ass on the line again, when it isn't necessary.

At the elementary campus they are just reinstating all of the teachers. That's it, reinstating them! But no, my campus we have to interview again. This is bullshit. And it all stems from our principal leaving early. If she were still here, I would be able to be reinstated without a problem.

I want to cry.

Update

Okay, so I found out later that some teachers on my campus had been reinstated, which contradicts what I had been told about not being able to reinstate teachers without the principal, right? I went back to the superintendent's office to find out why some could, but I couldn't. "Well..." he said, "they are dual-assignment teachers. They are coaches and teachers, so we reinstated them with the recommendation of the A.D. and the new principal."

Earlier in the day he said the new principal didn't know anyone on campus, which is why he would be reinterviewing. Now, see if this makes sense... he doesn't know me, he doesn't know the coaches either!

Come to find out, I'm the only person in the entire district that actually has to reapply and reinterview. All of the others in my campus were coaches, and all of the ones on the elementary campus were reinstated since they DO have a principal to do it.

So, I call a lawyer - not really to press charges, just a consultation to see if what was going on was legal. It is... unless there was some sort of prejudice. The only prejudice I see is that I'm not a coach, but I don't think that is something that I can prove, so there's nothing that can be done. (I actually wouldn't have done anything anyway.)

I'm just... very frustrated. I feel used. If they don't want me to work there next year, it would be so much easier for me if they just told me that, rather than giving me the runaround and treating me like a sack of potatoes...

As one of the teachers said just after I was let go, "Looks like you learned the hard way that school districts are not loyal, no matter how loyal their employees are."
 

It's amazing what some people think is funny. I guess most people, and it saddens me to know that.

Why is putting people down, picking on them, and poking fun at them so funny? The truth is, it shouldn't be. Things like that hurt, and they hurt sometimes more than people realize.

I know that sometime in the past I wrote about how cruel children can be, and they really can. They call each other horrible things that they don't even know what the words mean, they stereotype and shun a person because of their clothing, or even because of how they look or if they have zits. It is a natural part of growing up, I suppose, but one that I would like to put a stop to. This sort of thing is not allowed in my classroom at any time.

But sometimes, when reading things in newspapers, magazines, books, and even on here - I realize where these kids get it from. We, as adults, are unbelievably cruel. And we are more to blame because we KNOW FULL WELL what we are doing. We KNOW that the words we say can hurt. We KNOW that we shouldn't be doing it...

Yeah, so I finally got my tooth pulled... hurts a little, but I only looked like a chipmunk for about an hour. Not bad in my opinion. Supposedly it's not going to hurt much, yet the man gave me codine. That sounds a bit contradictory to me.

So... I've been thinking lately. It's a dangerous thing, really, thinking... especially when one spends most of their time doing it.

Anyway, I've been thinking about many many things. What I'm going to do if I don't have a job next year, whether or not I should take a job out of town if it's offered to me (because then my husband would be the one searching), how much money really means to me lately, what would happen if I makw the wrong decision...

Thinking hurts...
 

It is getting really hard to get up every morning. Just like the students, I guess, I have dreams of summer and lazy days around the house. (Not that any day is really lazy anymore with the twins, but it would be nice not to have to get up at 6:00 am.) I just want to lay, snuggle next to my husband, and sleep in - even if it's just until 8:30 when the twins wake up. Ahh well... three weeks. I'll be counting every day until I am free.

On a brighter side, I have a few job opportunities! One of the math teachers here at the jr/sr high school is retiring this week, so I have the chance to snatch her job. It will be teaching Junior High, which I would rather not do, but I suppose it is better than nothing, hmm? I also have a job interview tomorrow with a 4A school district near a much bigger city - high school position.

In all honesty, though, with the job interview, I'm a bit nervous. Any time I have actually had to compete against others for a job on my own, I've always lost. I have never gotten the job I wanted. I don't know whether it's because I'm overqualified, underqualified, or even if it's just my personality that annoys people. I wish I could figure it out, though... it's getting a bit irritating.

Ah well, cross your fingers for me, and we shall see!