Here is an example of the comments I receive on The Legend Of The Phantom Of The Hallows (of course I won't say who it was from) ~




You have just received the following private comment/review about
Item #1483417 entitled: "The Legend Of The Phantom Of The Hallows"

I enjoyed this piece. It is short, concise and tells the story in an interesting manner.

The descriptions are great. Good word pictures, I was able to see everything in my mind.

Stories with a curse in them can be fascinating and scary at the same time. This story worked for me.

Dialogue was excellent, as was the plot, setting, and characterization.

I do think that you can make this good story even better. It does not really need any changes, but I feel that your writing is good enough that you would be successful if you tried different ways to approach the story. For example, it could start with a small group of people gathered together for a story. Then the narrator begins the story.

Or

A first person narrative.

These are only two. There are endless styles.

I don't mean this as a criticism, as I think your story is great. I just wish I was more able to experiment, I tend to stick with one style, but I like to encourage others to experiment when I read a good piece of writing.

Liked the story, well done.

Character Count: 1,064
Rating included: 4.0 stars out of 5.0 stars. (Note: A 3.0 is Average.)


~~~

That's pretty much what everyone says "Great Story" and then I'm lucky if I get 4 stars out of them!

See what I mean about them wanting to be a part of the story? Is'n't that what this person is implying here??? Or am I wrong in interpreting it that way? .

Come on help me out here.




 

Wow, you wouldn't believe the editing that I have done on my Halloween short! It seems that in everyone of the reviews I've gotten here they all mention how much they are intrigued by my story , or how much they loved it.

Yet, most are asking for clarification as to "why" or "how" did this happen - or - what did this person feel? "How is the Phantom haunting his accusers?"

Don't get me wrong I have gotten a lot of useful feedback for editing. Some with really good ratings and some with 3 1/2 star ratings! I am trying not to get discouraged and I am putting their suggestions into my editing.

I do however, refuse to give up the bit of mystery that I have woven into it for Halloween by stating "how" the phantom haunts his accusers! Let the reader go figure...

I have to admit my story is better now than when I first wrote it. However, I can't help but think that the reason so many are picking it apart is because they really like it and want to be a part of it!

Is that too far fetched to think?

Never have I gotten so many reviews filled with so many suggestions here and there. Of course I don't usually write a lot of short stories either. In fact this is probably my very first fiction write...and fantasy fiction at that.

Could be that is the reason for all the critique. When you write something non-fiction from personal experience they tend not to rip it apart as such.

Well, believe me it is not that easy for me to get my creative juices flowing and make something up! So writing this one is really out of my ballpark...or comfort zone, if you know what I mean.

I've entered it in several Halloween contests around the site...so can't wait to see what happens there.


 

After reading my poem "The Phantom Of The Hallows" a reviewer asked me who the Phantom Of The Hollows was. He said he never met such a creature. So I decided to create a story explaining who the phantom really was.

Okay, so here is my story behind the poem ~

I wrote a Halloween poem yesterday ~

The Phantom Of The Hallows


Arrogance rides a black horse
On a dark scary night in the fall
A Demon, who sets his course
Searching for corrupted souls of all

Those who sent him to the gallows
Try to escape the masked crusader ~
The Phantom of the Hallows ~
The feared graveyard invader

'Twas greed they were seeking
That caused them to be disloyal
Now masqueraded they run shrieking
Unable to hide their betrayal

But the Phantom of the Hallows
Wants vengeance for injustice
So every Halloween he follows
Those wearing costumes with malice

If on the eve before All Saint's Day
You hear loud clop, clop, clopping
As you creep past the cemetery
It's just the Phantom's horse galloping

Don't be afraid he's not after you
It's only those souls of the dead
That he's so desperately set to pursue
Aye! Just run for your life instead!

Just a note to let you all know that Halloween Sigs are up for bid in my auction here -

ID: 1438718   (Rated: E) SHI'S SIGNATURE AUCTION   Auction Closed! Holiday Signatures- Benefits RAOK , Angel Army, and Rising Stars. by ShiShad

I guess it's time to get back to blogging again! I keep getting these reminders in my email.

My visit with the kids and grandkids was really fun. My son Matt picked me up at the ferry landing in Kingston on Wednesday, and we talked all the way to Port Orchard. His job was his main topic. He had full responsibility of the meat department at his store for one week when his supervisor was gone on vacation. It just so happened that a coupon advertising bacon for 99 cents had come out and they weren't prepared to deal with it ahead of time. So Matt had to call around their other stores in the area to get the amount of bacon he needed. He spent one whole day rounding up the bacon and then going to pick it up. It was a chaotic day for him, but he managed it quite well. Someday he will probably be managing his department there.

When we got to Port Orchard we swung by the cemetery to visit my son Chris's Memorial on the wall there. It had been a couple of years since I had been there. I was able to leave a flower for him. His urn is in a crypt in the Memorial Wall just inside the cemetery.

From there we went to pick up some groceries for our dinner and then to Pat's apartment where I would be staying for two days and two nights. I fixed a real nice chicken salad with cheese and garlic dressing, a roasted chicken, and mashed potatoes. Matt went to pick up his kids to join us for dinner, bringing a loaf of garlic bread to add to our meal.

We all had a good time sharing our meal together. Afterwards Matt, Karly and I played 500 Rummy while the rest of the boys watched a movie. Then we topped off the evening by pooling all our pennies and playing 21 Poker!

What fun.

The following day It was just Pat and I doing a little shopping down at the mall. I was able to get in touch with my friend Pam by phone and we talked for about an hour catching up.

That night when Matt got off work we went to Fred Meyer to pick out some bedding. It was off to bed before eleven on Thursday night.

The next morning, Friday, Matt's new girlfriend Kim came to have coffee with me at 10:00 A.M. Then my son Mike arrived soon after. A few hours later my daughter Julie arrived after picking Alex up from school. My son Pat's two boys Jayce and Christian were there also. My goodness how those two boys have grown! They are eleven and nine...but BIG boys. Jayce is bigger than his daddy! He tips the scale at 175 pounds and he is only eleven...will be twelve years old the day after Christmas. He takes after his maternal Granddaddy, Jay.

I took a lot of pictures , but I am just including this one of Jayce and Christian here.

I leave tomorrow morning to catch the 12:55 ferry out of Edmonds to Kingston to go and visit my kids and grandkids for two days! I have not been down to Port Orchard since May...so I am overdue with this visit. It takes almost two hours to drive down to the ferry landing at Edmonds...depending on the traffic. The ferry crosses the Puget Sound waters in about twenty minutes. Then it takes around forty five minutes to drive from Kingston to Port Orchard. It is not a trip one would want to make all in one day...thus the planned overnight visits.

I am spending the day today getting ready for my trip. There's not a whole lot to do really.
I just have to get the laundry caught up. Pack my suitcase(the one with wheels;for the ferry ramps), and make sure that Ron has a menu for his meals while I am gone.

Right now I am charging the battery on my digital camera so that I will be able to take some pictures.

I hope to get some good ones of the grandkids. They grow so fast...and I don't see enough of them anymore.

They are just as excited to see me as I am to see them! They have asked that I bring copies of my story "The Skagit River Visit" for them all. So I have printed off several for them to keep. I will be buying several copies of my latest book called "Concrete Reflections" at Lulu.Com real soon so that they will all have the book with that story in it also.

I am my best customer when it comes to buying my books.

I don't mind though...after all THEY are the reason for me publishing them in the first place.










 

Just a little entry to let you know that my auction is open again. There are many Halloween Signatures to choose from too!

Stop by

ID: 1438718   (Rated: E) SHI'S SIGNATURE AUCTION   Auction Closed! Holiday Signatures- Benefits RAOK , Angel Army, and Rising Stars. by ShiShad

I wrote a new poem yesterday:

I think that Chess is the most challenging game that I have ever played.

Today Ron and I played again. He has beat me at every game we've played so far. We played two games today. The second one was my best game yet. I really put up a good fight throughout the whole game. I even had his King in check with my Queen and two of his rooks in jeopardy. Why I couldn't end the game right there is beyond me! I'm just not that sharp at it yet. He managed to wiggle his way out of it and I failed to reinforce my moves. After that my playing went downhill and he finally beat me.

The champ still reigns...

I must say that I did have him worried there for awhile. He was even whining.

Well, at least now I know that I made him sweat even if I didn't beat him.

There's always next time, and the fun is in just playing.




















 

We rode the Vulcan one day last week to go see the twins and baby Analynn. They have grown some and Analynn is so pretty like her sisters. They weren't feeling all that great though. The twins were getting over the 'crud' as Mommy called it and the baby had an ear infection. She managed a smile or two while we were there, however.

It was a cloudy and cool day during our ride, but it felt good to get out and visit again. We are back to sunshine here for the first days of fall. You can really feel fall in the air now. Even the trees are shedding their leaves and blowing around in the breezes.

I'm planning a visit to Port Orchard real soon to see all of my kids and grandkids. I haven't been down to visit them all since May. That's quite a stretch for me. So, I am waiting to hear from my youngest son Matt as to when he will be able to pick me up at the ferry landing in Kingston. I will be staying a couple of days down there.

I'm really looking forward to seeing them all.


 

I got a good report from my eye doctor on Wednesday.The floater is still there of course but she told me that my eye is fine. So I am breathing easier now.

I can go about my business of reading and writing with out having to worry about my retina now.

I have a pair of prescription computer glasses that I am wearing now. They are fantastic for taking away the eyestrain while I am on here!

I would recommend a pair to all of you who crane your necks and strain your eyes like I had been doing. Ron got his pair first and swore by them. I got mine but at first they didn't work properly...then I took them back so that they could be fixed for the correct distance... and what an improvement now!

I need to get busy on here and catch up with my reviewing. I'm also working on another book. Taking my time on it though. I'm not in a big hurry.






 

I just thought I would throw in this entry also. My Granddaughter had it on her MySpace and I thought it was pretty cute. It's an updated version from the one I read last.
Hope you enjoy it ~


YOU KNOW YOU ARE FROM WASHINGTON WHEN.......
-You know how to prono​unce Sequi​m,​ Puyal​lup,​ Enumc​law and Issaq​uah.
​

-You know all the impor​tant seaso​ns:​ Almos​t Winte​r,​ Winte​r,​ Still​ Raini​ng (​Sprin​g)​,​ Road Const​ructi​on (​Summe​r)​,​ Deer & Elk Seaso​n (​Fall)​

-You buy new sungl​asses​ every​ year,​ becau​se you canno​t find the old ones after​ such a long time.
​

-You know what "​Jo-​Jo'​s"​ are.

-You measu​re dista​nce in hours​.​

-You think​ peopl​e who use umbre​llas are eithe​r wimps​ or touri​sts.
​
-You get a terri​ble sunbu​rn on the first​ reall​y nice day of summe​r.
​
-You can'​t make it two block​s witho​ut seein​g a Starb​ucks.
​
-You can tell the diffe​rence​ betwe​en Chine​se,​ Japan​ese,​ Vietn​amese​,​ Korea​n and Thai food.
​
-You can taste​ the diffe​rence​ betwe​en Starb​ucks,​ Seatt​le'​s Best and Tully​'​s.
​
-You becom​e frigh​tened​ by the brigh​t yello​w orb in the sky until​ the 9-​1-​1 opera​tor tells​ you it's just the sun.

-You can'​t imagi​ne livin​g throu​gh a torna​do or hurri​cane but you secre​tly think​ earth​quake​s are kind of fun.

-You can endur​e 100 days of rain and wind but an inch of snow means​ schoo​l cance​llati​ons.
​
-​When you cross​ the mount​ains into easte​rn Washi​ngton​ and it feels​ like you enter​ed a compl​etely​ diffe​rent count​ry.​.​.

​-​When you live in a small​ town and when you try expla​in where​ you live,​ you event​ually​ have to give up sayin​g other​ large​r towns​ aroun​d you and say "Oh, never​mind.​ Just NEAR Seatt​le.
​
-"You say '​pop'​ inste​ad of '​soda'.
​
-​When you think​ weari​ng a hoode​d sweat​shirt​ 11 month​s a year is norma​l.
​
-​When you'​re out of state​,​ peopl​e alway​s ask you if every​body'​s suici​dal.
​
-​Smili​ng and wavin​g at stran​gers is no biggi​e.
​
-​Being​ pale isn'​t a big deal,​ becau​se every​body is.

-You know that cow chip is a delic​ious cooki​e.
​
-​Whene​ver someo​ne visit​s from anoth​er state​ you alway​s start​ a fight​ over the fact that we have more stuff​ start​ed in Washi​ngton​ than any other​ state​.​ (​Starb​ucks,​ Boein​g,​ Micro​soft,​ Costc​o,​ Sea'​s Best,​ ect.)

-You eat chine​se/​japan​ese/​thai food all the time
-You feel a very close​ conne​ction​ with Briti​sh Canad​ians,​ as well as the Japan​ese

-An inch or less of snow means​ schoo​l is cance​lled for one day for at least​ half of the Puget​ Sound​.​ More then an inch and you'​re getti​ng some serio​us time off.

-you notic​e that you have no accen​t wut so ever.​.​.
​
-you get mad when peopl​e dont use their​ blink​er
-you live "in the woods​"​
-you can ident​ify 10 diffe​rent apple​s by taste​ and smell​ only.
​
-you can smell​ the rain comin​g.​.​.
​
-You expec​t snow for Valen​tine'​s Day, not Chris​tmas.
​
-​When you visit​ anoth​er state​ and it rains​.​.​.​and all the other​ peopl​e aroun​d you run and screa​m while​ you conti​nue to slowl​y walk aroun​d in your flip flops​ and short​s.
​
-You "Do The Puyal​lup"​ every​ year.
​
-You feel guilt​y throw​ing somet​hing away that could​ be recyc​led.
​
-You or someo​ne you know works​ at Boein​g or Micro​soft.
​
- Anime​ and Manga​ is a prett​y BIG thing​,​ and you know of at least​ 10 diffe​rent store​s that have them.
​

- You know the diffe​rence​ betwe​en "​showe​rs follo​wed by rain"​ and "​rain follo​wed by showe​rs"​.
​
- The sight​ of Mt. Raini​er is still​ awe inspi​ring.
​
- Your lawn is mostl​y moss and you don'​t reall​y care.
​
- You have learn​ed to assum​e Chris​tmas will be rainy​,​ not white​.
​
- Your phone​ book conta​ins a tide table​.
​
- You still​ can'​t belie​ve the new Seaha​wks stadi​um is open air.

- You use the word "​sunbr​eak"​ and know what it means​.
​
- You know more than 10 ways to order​ coffe​e.
​
- You never​ go campi​ng witho​ut water​ proof​ match​es and a ponch​o.
​
- You can point​ to at least​ 2 volca​noes even if you can'​t actua​lly see them throu​gh the cloud​ cover​.
​
- You often​ switc​h from heat to a/c in your car in the same day.

- You desig​n your kid'​s Hallo​ween costu​me to fit under​ a rainc​oat.
​
- You know how to prono​unce geodu​ck and know that it doesn​'​t quack​ or have feath​ers.
​
- You get upset​ when a store​ doesn​'​t carry​ your favor​ite brand​ of bottl​ed water​.
​
- You go to work in the dark and come home in the dark even thoug​h you only have an 8 hour workd​ay

- You reali​ze no educa​tion is requi​red to be a weath​erman​.​ Just make it up.


- You know what '​Sodo Mojo'​ is
- You think​ summe​r start​s in July and winte​r in Septe​mber
- You know you bette​r enjoy​ the snow the first​ day it falls​ befor​e the rain washe​s it away
- You own a barbe​que that has ruste​d.

​- You prefe​r one mount​ain range​ to the other​
- When someo​ne honks​ at you, you think​ they are tryin​g to say "​hi"​.~







 

What usually comes with September weather here is cooler days and rain. That hasn't happened this year. We had the cooler temperatures and all the rainy days in August instead!

Now we are having our hot sunny summer days! It's been cool only at night, early morning and late evening. If it keeps this up we just might get an Indian Summer in October! The last time I remember that happening it was in the early 1990's when we had sunshine for weeks and the temperatures were in the mid 80's!

We are finally able to pick up some locally grown sweet corn. The rains all spring and early summer had slowed down the growing season around here for nearly everything. We stopped at the Farmers Market last week and picked up some big juicy peaches and local sweet corn. Yum yum.

When Ron's sis Patricia was here vacationing she brought sweet corn over from eastern Washington and it was so good and full. Ours over here wasn't quite as full as it should have been yet.

We sure had a good time when Patricia and Pebbles were here. She drove a long ways by herself over the mountains to get here. That can be quite an ordeal for anyone let alone an older woman traveling by herself with just a small doggie. So we really appreciated her coming all that way just to visit us.

We sat around and talked and talked all the while she was here. Well, I should say we just sat around and ATE and talked while she was here! She enjoyed our company and we hers. We played chess one evening. Her and I with Ron coaching her. She hadn't played chess in about 40 years so she was learning all over again.

We watched movies in the evening. She and Pebbles snuggled in the big wide recliner with a blanket and she would be dozing off in no time! I think the movies Ron picked for us were either too graphic- The Shield -or hard to understand the dialog - The Last Detective. That one is a BBC series. Anyways, we didn't mind that she fell asleep it made us feel that she was relaxed and felt right at home here.

She and I did work in a walk down Cedar Grove Ave. here so she could see Mt.Baker looming behind our home. It is hidden behind all the trees in the community and can't be seen from the house here. She was in awe of it's beauty. She is a mountain lover of course and used to live in Oregon right at the foot of Mt. Hood. So of course she knew how much we appreciated our mountain home and the breathtaking views.

The visit went by so fast and soon it was time for her and Pebbles to leave. Pebbles was such a good little girl when she was here. She and our kitties had only a few confrontations during the whole time. She never chased the kitties though, and they kept their distance. So it worked out that they each kept their space and all was fine.

We will be looking forward to another visit from her in the future for sure.

















 

I'm trying to catch up on my emails and my Auction here. My eye report was good. There was no tear of the retina.

However, the detachment was severe and the Dr. wants me back in next Wednesday for another look. It is a continuing detachment so there are precautions. I'm still having flashes and pulling in that eye. The floaters I am stuck with until they settle down and fade more in time.

I'm trying to limit my eye strain.

The visit with Patricia was great! She spent four days with us. More on that later.



 

Well, today I am going to see an ophthalmologist for my right eye. Hopefully he will give me the good news that I don't have a tear in the retina. I'm a bit nervous about the whole thing. I think I'm afraid he will say "stay off your computer!" I can't bear the thought of no WDC for any length of time!

Tomorrow Ron's sister Pat is arriving! She is leaving Moses Lake this morning and will make a stop over night before heading over the mountains. She's bringing her little doggie Pebbles with her to spend a few days with us. It will be the first time for her to see where we live. She hasn't had a vacation in three years because she was keeping a close eye on Mom. We are looking forward to her visit for sure.

I'm probably not going to be spending much time on here, and that will be best for my eye anyways.


 

Today is Labor Day, but I'm not going to do a whole lot of laboring today for sure!

Yesterday I was having a problem with my right eye. I noticed a pulling and some light flashes now and then. We were actually having a thunderstorm here and at first I couldn't tell if it was from the lightening or what!

We had been in the middle of our second game of chess when the thunderstorm started. We continued to play as the sky lit up and the thunder rolled around us.
I was putting up a good challenge for my chess partner (Ron) by capturing both of his knights and his rooks and I even had his queen pinned! It was very exciting for me as I have yet to beat him at Chess.

I don't know maybe I got just a little too excited or what but then it happened. Something was blocking my vision in my right eye. It was dark and moving around. I knew immediately what had happened. It was another floater!
The medical term for this is posterior vitreous detachment. The gel around the eyeball detaches itself from the retina. Sometimes with serious consequences by tearing and detaching the retina itself.

It is fairly common in adults over age 60.

I had my first experience with this at age 61. At that time it was my left eye and I think it was from eyestrain of reading on the computer for too long of a time!
I had an eye examine done at the time and was reassured that I did not tear the retina. The floater itself was much smaller than the one that came yesterday.
That worries me. I also saw a red color to this larger, more spread out floater.
I think that I was seeing blood with this one! Something that I never saw before.

I think it may have made a tear on the retina. I will be calling the eye doctor here tomorrow and making an appointment to get in and have it looked at.

Meanwhile I will lay low and be careful not to put anymore pressure on my eye than what is normal. That means less time on the computer too!

Oh, I almost forgot...I lost the chess game! The 'Champ' still reigns...ugh.



 

Yesterday I spent some time editing my newly written poem. I asked mcgupta for his help in getting the meter right. He was very helpful and gave me more than one review and a re-rating after editing. I was determined to make the poem the best it could be for the contest.

I still am not truly satisfied with my results on this one. I'm sure that it will never be one of my favorites in spite of the perfect rhyme and meter here.

ID: 1444051 Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. by Not Available.

The phone rang at 6:00 A.M. this morning. I crawled out of bed half awake to answer it. It went to the answering machine but nobody left a message. I turned the volume down and while I was doing that it rang again. I picked up. It sounded like my son Patrick, so I said

"What did you want?"

"I'm returning your call"

"I didn't call you"

"Oh, I thought you did" he laughed.

"No, it wasn't me. All I did was press the volume button to turn it down." Then I asked him
"What are you doing up this early?"

"I'm going to work."

Doubts as to who I am really talking to began to creep into my half awake head. I knew that Patrick was not working at the present time. Health issues due to his asthma had caused him to lose his last job.

"Oh, where are you working?"

"At the shipyard."

Then there was a sudden disconnect and a dial tone. Whoever it was must have realized that he was talking to a complete stranger too!