Today I did a couple of reviews. I know I should be working on my NaNo novel some more, but the motivation just hasn't been there yet today.

Review #1:

Specific Lines
- "It was not my place to question why we were being punished, just to know that we were." - This is an excellent line. I think this sums up the general puritan ideology of that time frame perfectly. This really sets the scene for your story.

- "Some of the townspeople had opposed to the trials..." - I think this should be "were opposed to the trials" or "had opposed the trials."

Overall Thoughts
What an excellent story! I love the use of the quotes to break up the paragraphs. The fact that all of the characters used, including the narrator, were actual historical figures from the Salem witch trials is impressive and fascinating. The only comment I have is that I think William Hobbs' wife and daughter were also accused of witchcraft, so it might have been interesting to see the family dynamic in the face of such accusations.

Overall a very well-written story with enough historical accuracy to be truly haunting.
My rating: four and a half stars.


Review #2:

Specific Lines
- "...happily noticed our window opened a crack." - This sort of makes it sound like the window opened as you were looking at it. Perhaps, "...our window was open a crack."

- "...the window came down on me and I'm stuck!" - Watch out for the changing tense. Consider changing to "... and I was stuck!"

- "The giggles start,and we both need to pee." - Oh wow, I can see where this is going! LoL!

- "...my sister and I out of our dilemma." - Technically, this should be "my sister an me..." because if your sister weren't there, the sentence would be that your father "helps me out of my dilemma."

- "It was embarrassing, one of too many moments, I wish nevered happened., but still laugh over because I couldn't laugh then." - Looks like this sentence may have been edited a couple of times, as there's some rogue punctuation. I would suggest going over this last sentence again for clarity. I would suggest, "It was embarrassing! One of too many moments I wish never had happened, but I still laugh over it even now." I would delete the part about not being able to laugh then, because earlier in the tale, you describe giggling. :)

Overall Thoughts

Thank you for being brave enough to share such an embarrassing moment with the world! I got a good laugh out of the story, and could picture the whole thing in my mind. You do a great job of capturing the embarrassment of the whole situation, but the technical aspects of the story are lacking. Watch out for switching your verb tenses! You switch from past to present about halfway through. Also, be careful not to get too comma happy. I have this problem too, but often times you can get away without using a comma. Sometimes it's even better to break the sentence down into more than one. I suggest taking another look through your third and fourth paragraphs, specifically. Overall, a hysterical tale that needs a little technical polishing. Thank you so much for sharing this!
My rating: three stars.


Review #3:

Overall Thoughts

Clearly a heartfelt poem. You are already aware of the weaknesses of the poem (lack of rhythm/flow), but what the poem lacks in technical merits it makes up for in emotion. It takes a lot of courage to throw words down onto the page when emotions are running high, and it takes even more courage to then turn around and share those words with the world in their raw form. The poem could benefit from some edits for technical style, as you mention in your notes at the end of the poem itself. But you get the images and emotions across regardless, and that makes for a truly inspiring poem.
My rating: four stars.