Friends from New York are in town today. Three still asleep, two playing Magic: The Gathering, and me sitting with my laptop, seeing if I can squeeze out my 500 words today. We’ll hopefully be gaming later, and probably going bowling.
My friend (the one about whom several of my previous updates was written) finally called me. He has a long way to go before he has earned my forgiveness, and thankfully he doesn’t expect it any time soon. It’s just nice that he finally called. We’ll see what comes of it. We may invite him to come bowling with all of us, just to get him out of his house and to see everyone.
I haven’t decided how I feel about it, but I think it’s probably a good idea to at least extend the invitation. I don’t like giving up on people. It’s a character flaw that I have.
Also, I’ve included here, a review. :)

Hi Tara! You are receiving this review as part of a package you won from "SHERRI'S SIZZLING AUCTION CLOSED" !

Specific Lines
- "I see you spiral down this hole / like Alice in her wonderland, / and I am your white rabbit." - Very nice imagery here. You connect the reader to the emotions of the poem, since everyone is familiar with the story of Alice in Wonderland.

- "I watch you silently wither..." - This is a great line, since it gives both the sense that the object of your poem is withdrawing, but also that he (I'm just going with "he" here) shrinking and, in a sense, becoming less of himself. This line also expresses a serious feeling of helplessness, since all the speaker can do, as the lighthouse, is watch.

Overall Thoughts

Imagery

Excellent imagery. You use wonderful ocean similes and metaphors that convey the feeling of helplessness, since people are often helpless when it comes to the sea. People can try to get by on it or near it, but in the end we are at the ocean's mercy, which in this case, is the object's (from what I gathered) unstable mental state. Again, that's just what I gathered from reading this poem, but it's possible that I'm coloring it with my own personal experience.

Emotion

Full of, as I've said before, an overwhelming sense of helplessness. It comes across beautifully in this poem. My heart was aching by the end.

Rhythm

I'll admit it felt a little off to me, but I am in no way, shape, or form a poet.

As A Whole

Very nicely written. As much as a like the Alice in Wonderland reference, it felt a little out of place in the middle of the poem, given the heavy use of sea metaphors/similes throughout the rest of the piece. I cannot help but wonder what would happen if you stuck more with ocean references instead of switching to Alice. Regardless, you have a very moving piece here. Congratulations on fitting so much emotion into so short a poem. Great job!

My Rating: 4 and a half stars