We met during a significant transition in my life. I was on a path leading further away from a professional career that defined me, then devoured me...broadcasting. I look back today to remember how she rescued me like some abandoned animal and loved me when I had run out of hope.

Most people who know me realized I was a sensitive child who relied on the belief of others to give him strength. Thirty-something, I was too old and too far removed from my home to rely on a mother's comfort when life's ills sent me to hide under the blankets of my bed yet again. I believed I was a failure once more just because I was in the wrong job at the wrong time of my life. So, I gave up, packed up and headed for home anyway.

I only did it temporarily. I knew what a burden my presence would be to my mom and dad, and yet my dad was supportive. He helped me buy a car and get an apartment. I think he respected what I had done in radio, becoming a household name and giving him something to brag about when he played cards every afternoon at the community senior citizen's center.

I went to the unemployment office and another career fell into my lap almost immediately. I didn't know what to expect as a manager trainee at a music, movie and book store in Iron Mountain, MI, but it would change my life.

I struggled to understand my role but somehow a young man eventually made me manager, maybe because I was older and wiser than my somewhat younger competition. I would hire people and train them to run a register and stock the store's product, all the while running on the fumes of an empty soul.

The job was demanding as a salaried employee. They expected me to work upwards of 60 hours a week. Because I desired approval, I did as they told, and excelled. In the midst of my first eight months there. I considered making another run as news director of another radio station in town and juggled two jobs, barely giving me enough time to sleep, eat or shower. I was forced to hang up my mic once again.

With just my cat Minnie to come home to, I indulged in self-loathing and regret. I remember getting drunk and locking myself out of my apartment. I believe I broke a window to get back in. One day, my brother came calling. He was a Jehovah's Witness.

My car was in the street and I heard him talking to another guy while he was knocking. I hunkered down in my bedroom and didn't answer. "I know your home, Brian," he implored.

I knew the routine. I had lived with him right after high school, thinking I could get a college education and a new start in Illinois. That ended horribly after just a few months, when I packed up my golden labrador retriever and drove from Carbondale through Chicago and the smog non-stop until I finished a snowy trek straight to the door of my parents where my younger brother surprised me with a hug, one of the few I would remember.

My oldest brother acted as a wedge between me and my old man, and so I decided not to burden my parents any more with my troubles. Gary told me my dad complained about me. Yet, dad visited me at work with food some days. I was confused and just decided to keep my distance.

Then she walked into my life. I watched her stride between two browsers of CDs toward the back of the store for her interview. She wore slacks with a tight black and white checker design. I would stare at those pants in our closet for many days to come. She would wear them at the store she managed in Tennessee, where we both transferred for the company that employed us.

Yes, I hired my wife! I almost asked her to marry me on the radio the day I held a grand opening for my new store in Cookeville. We had only known each other a short time and I couldn't muster up the courage to pop the question. What did inspire me? Watching a video of Forrest Gump in our apartment would drive me to tears and on my knee.

It only took her three months to make the arrangements. Our boss was not pleased. He had kept us apart by having us work at stores 30 miles apart. Now we were to be hitched and on a mini vacation on Mackinac Island before driving back for a store meeting. We had our first, very big fight getting lost on the way to that manager's meeting. Both of us had been under a lot of pressure to get back to work and it took a toll. But, we weathered that storm.

After some tears, Jennifer admitted to me she had gotten off course with her life. She was trained as a surgical technologist and felt she needed to find her life's calling. She didn't believe she would, with both of us in the dead end jobs. Thankfully, I asked the physician we both saw to talk to her, give her encouragement. It opened a door to Jen's future and one that still pays the bills today.

I ran aground in Tennessee and got out of that store which I literally took to the top floor in recognition for overall sales and other promotion efforts (out of over 100 stores). It seemed to mean so little and caused me to wonder why I was wasting my time there. I had the love of a good woman who supported me as I dusted off my FCC license and returned to radio, yet again. I quickly wore out my welcome.

We moved to Green Bay and started a family. We have two beautiful and inspiring children who fill our days with love. I reconnected with my past and love of writing. I feel more grounded to the person I was. So much has happened in my life and I have someone to share every step of the journey. Someone who believes in me while reminding me to believe in myself.

And so, through much encouragement, I finally published my poetry. Much of what I write comes from setbacks and the heartache suffered from blindly steering one's way through life to finally find a home.

Thank you to mom and dad for supporting me during my weakest moments and mending me before she scooped me up and taught me to fly again. Though my parents have long since passed, their influence on my life still shapes me and teaches me how to lay a better path for my own children.

But thanks especially to you, Jennifer. Though you don't read my blog, I'm going to try to get you to see it at least today. A day I hope will be as special as our first Valentine's Day in that hotel room in Cookeville. We were both eager with new expectations when you accepted the challenge to change your life for me.

I'm in awe of you. You stare straight into the soul of me. You see all the ugliness without even flinching. You tell me you still dream about me and I wonder how I got so lucky to have someone who would put me at the center of their world after so many years. I should be more thankful.

I don't photoshop cards or letters any more. I struggle to get pen to paper to tell you how much I love you. I don't rub your back every day with that deep penetrating rub like I once did. I don't nuzzle your neck the way you like as often anymore.

I rededicate myself to you today. Because you have given back to me so much more than anything I have encountered in my life. I am indebted to you for taking a risk on me and guiding me through our life together.

Love,
Roo!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiI42aZ5F40
"2012: The Year We Flip!"