(Formerly titled 2010: A New Odyssey...clearly it's too late for that.)

Lots to do before the Mayan calendar runs out. This blog will now become my bucket list. I've published before the year even starts. Next up, adopt a motherless duck and raise it to become a swan. Should be easy enough.

Reinventing myself from start to finish. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life.

I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, like I did when I was young and wanted approval from others. I do it now because I realize the fake me is so much more boring and unliberated than the real me. Time will tell if my open diary will be more appealing to readers.

~ Brian

My blogging days at Writing.Com began here >>>

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My Journal  [13+] This is my pulpit. I'm no preacher, just long to be heard like the rest of us. by Always & Forever

Own Me:

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Rub her back. Snuggle into her neck. Take care of her. Soul mates are hard to find and if there's just one thing you do for the rest of your life, it has to be to take care of the love for her
so that it doesn't dwindle and die.

I have let so many loves dwindle and die. I hope I'm not too late for this last one. But I've never had a sold mate.

All I know about the subject is that among musicians, it's common practice to give free concerts at the beginning of one's career, or to give our fees to charity. The hope is of building an audience that will eventually pay for the same concerts. In our business, this transformation of the public rarely happens.

Other than that, sounds like a good idea, but finding the right charities might be tricky.

Thank you Alfred for your reply.

I tried hating him and it didn't do me any good. I have to realize that the suffering he put me through forced me to elevate myself to levels I might not have ever achieved if I wasn't trying to please the man who could not be impressed.

In the end, I feel sorry for him that he did not appreciate his family in a way that would have given him reward before his dying day.

Please forgive my soupy nature and accept that this part of your story moves me beyond words.

We all need to break free of the bonds that poorly unite us with our dysfunctional parents. Death has helped a bit in my case, but as you know, it's so damned hard to move forward as men if we have not been recognized as such by those who should have boasted us.

May you find peace, Brian. You too deserve it.

I wrote another poem called Chocolate Cake...I don't think this will really go anywhere as some kind of comparative metaphor...Wait is that redundant?

Chocolate Cake

Even chocolate cakes sometimes doesn't taste good
Even I cannot consume a morsel as good as you
Ever try to wash it down with chocolate milk?
Is there too much of a good thing that's bad?

Try to eat cake after a filling meal
like trying to get my attention after a day of work
and my favorite television program is on

I'm crammed full of the day's issues before
you pile high your needs on my table

God forbid, someone should mess with the recipe,
add sprinkles or make it gluten free, sans flour,
as you change your hair your clothes,
by the hour and ask me how do you like me now

I just wanted to savor each bite
rather than mess with our formula
like German chocolate cake is good
unless your are allergic to coconut


[Visit the entry for more...]

The fiction offerings I mentioned are contained here:

ID: 1173871   (Rated: E) BKC's Fiction  Short stories, novel starts and other fictional attempts. by Always & Forever

Ignore the awardicons. I think I essentially bought those by bidding in some silly auctions during one of my regrettable phases at this website.

There are two disjointed novel attempts and about 3-4 short stories. "The Prankster" is my trying to stretch the boundaries of fiction and trying to write about being misunderstood.

"Fishing With Dad" is about my struggles as the kid who couldn't get enough attention but found love in his trips to their favorite fishing hole despite an annoying brother.

"Death of a District Salesman" is about me actually wanting to kill my boss and fictionalizing it.

One of my novels was inspired by a very surreal dream and the other was an epiphany I had while jogging that went nowhere.

I have other novel starts that I just couldn't keep going. I should reread them all and see if one of them inspires me enough to finish. Some of my short stories are failed novel attempts.

I will say that publishing on Amazon got me talking with my family about actually writing and publishing a novel. Now, if I would just stop talking about doing it and just do it...

Thank you Alfred!

Good suggestions all around. I do have a few short stories and a few chapters to several novel attempts posted here. They don't get a lot of attention, so I find myself focusing on the poetry and blogging.

I will have to see about finding some links.

Thanks again

Start by editing the 242 items. (that's the response to your Retirement Comment. NO, you cannot yet retire.)

Ask yourself what you don't like about your items. If anything. Then try to improve them. Rhymes seem too easy? Check for less conventional ones. I always use rhyming dictionaries when I want to write rhyming poetry. Sounds too much like Hallmark Greeting Card stuff? That OK with you? (it isn't for me and my own production (I've over 700 items...))

Write that novel. Take it like a "slice of life." Write what you know about. Health problems. Gym frustration, a sort of hyped up biography. My only novel, the 2008 NaNo, was about a pianist giving a concert. Much of the protagonist hails from my own life, but I added a bit of fiction and made him a dad and tried to repair my own father/son relationship. My father had just died when I wrote it. I'm still editing it.

So, it doesn't have to be perfect from the beginning. No writer pens a perfect first draft. No one. You just have to want to pen those words. No one will ever read my poetry on a large scale. Living in France, I'm out of the way for poetry readings in English and the entire Anglo Saxon publishing business. My family doesn't give a damn what I write and most of my friends are bilingual, but not good enough English speakers to grasp the subtleties of English poetry. And if I had the guts to go out and sell myself, I would be a world renowned pianist by now. Couldn't do it for my first love, there's no way I'll do it now. At least not right now.

Your entry here was fun. Many parts of it were very well written, and there was even word play in the beginning that you could easily extend to the rest of this posting by deciding on synonyms to add alliteration to the text. That's why I mentioned editing your 242 items. Poetry can always be tighter, more colorful, and it's just a matter of patience to recreate the same ideas with different, more percussive or persuasive words.

Writing a novel? Do you have any short stories in your port? Let me know, I'll check them out. I have loads of creative writing books that deal with other aspects of creative writing than poetry, but they remain on shelves because I do not have the time, nor physical energy to do the exercises within to improve my abilities at fiction. I do firmly believe that this is necessary. Find an online class, either here or elsewhere and commit yourself for six months. Then, if you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel changing colors, you can make up your mind to quit.

Fair enough?

Thank you Alfred,

I don't see myself doing anything but nurturing what he aspires to. It is because I loved the game so much since childhood that I hoped we would share a special bond and passion for the sport.
He is so intelligent, too. I can see great and many possibilities for him with my limited imagination. Some days, I wish I had a window into the future to see the man he'll become. I'm so hopeful and want him to have a life far beyond what I endeavored.

Can I retire now? I have landed over 60,000 pages views now for 242 items in my port. It's like watching the odometer in my car. Do I have to trade myself in soon or run this thing into the ground?