2012: The Year We Flip! (Book)

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Such Longing: A Poetry Collection

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Such Longing
Brian Keith Compton

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Saturday
May 26, 2012
12:36pm EDT

>> Book >> Personal >> ID #1300042 | Show Details

2012: The Year We Flip!

Time to reinvent, remap, and redress my approach to writing & life...before it's too late!

Rated:
ASR

Brian Keith Compton

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THANK YOU alfred booth, wanbli ska

for the ribbon and continuous support!

(Formerly titled 2010: A New Odyssey...clearly it's too late for that.)

Lots to do before the Mayan calendar runs out. This blog will now become my bucket list. I've published before the year even starts. Next up, adopt a motherless duck and raise it to become a swan. Should be easy enough.

Reinventing myself from start to finish. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life.

I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, like I did when I was young and wanted approval from others. I do it now because I realize the fake me is so much more boring and unliberated than the real me. Time will tell if my open diary will be more appealing to readers.

~ Brian

My blogging days at Writing.Com began here >>>

1149750

My Journal

[13+]
This is my pulpit. I'm no preacher, just long to be heard like the rest of us.
by Brian Keith Compton

1369759

Thanks For The Memories Brett Favre

[ASR]
The yoyo Brett Favre and his re-re-return to football...AND one last shot at glory.
by Brian Keith Compton

Show most recent blog comments.

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

60 Days 1 Hour ago, in response to "Forced Myself"

Brian Keith Compton

said:

Thank you Alfred,

You succinctly state the risk factor and how I should approach basketball. I also find the game is like a drug when I am out there on the court, andrenalized and raring to go. I find that when I have had some time to be away from the game, I can be more rational. Even when I am writing in my blog, I am describing the Mr. Hyde side of me that comes out when I play.

I always have a plan when I go into the gym to be safe with the eyewear and other equipment all the way down to my shoes. But if an injury occurs and I am still itching to play, I can't talk myself out of going back out on the floor and trying again.

I believe, in part, the culture of the game teaches us that warriors go out there and play hurt. And while I can rationalize that I have nothing at stake by walking away after being injured, a big part of me still wants to play. I am the kid who wants to be outside playing with his friends rather than having to watch lonely and alone from his window as they frolic about.

There is some anxiety in knowing the other players keep playing without me, perhaps begin to forget about me if I don't get back out there. I don't have time on my side and perhaps my quest to complete some forgotten mission has muddled my thinking, but I keep thinking I still have one great play in me before I go home for the day. Even though, when I create this marvelous gem for my frail psyche to coddle, I seldom get an ovation or the cheers that have inspired me to play harder all my life. So, I have to keep trying to they clamor for my services.

The mentality is they have to hurt me a lot harder than that to get me to quit. If I can put a bandage over it to stop the bleeding, then I'm still good. I've kept playing through ankle injuries, which is difficult to do these days because my injury will balloon to twice the size if I don't get ice on it right away. But, all the while, I'm still assessing that injury and trying to figure out if I can still get out there and play.

It's unfortunate that you are unable to use your gift now, as I think about what you go through. If there was some magic potion or physical therapy, I would hope it could get you back to what you love -- something that helps give back to you and rewards you for your talent.

I never played an instrument. Not required when I was in school and could not pick up the piano or guitar when I had some private lessons. I sorely wanted to learn when I was young, because I was going to write songs and be a big star some day. I became a poet who likes to sing alone in rooms with good acoustics or to his children, when they will allow. I am old man who lost his dream of playing in the NBA.

So, I do thank God as often as I can for what has been bestowed upon me, an undeserving soul who cheats his way through life the best he can to get to a satisfying finish each day. I guess I cheat the game I love, if I do something that ends my play permanently. I will have to exercize better judgment.

I have been working on blog posts regarding the goggles situation and my own stupidity in these situations. Haven't had time to properly edit the entries to my satisfaction. I hope to be donning a new pair by the end of the week.

Thanks again for reading and being my sounding board.

Brian

60 Days 6 Hours ago, in response to "Forced Myself"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

It's hard admitting to ourselves that we can't do it any more. Your eyesight is a major handicap and in my opinion you're playing with fire by not doing what you need to do to have decent rec specs. Take care of that ASAP!

I can no longer force my hands to do what they don't want to do. I can suffer for weeks afterwards if I try to push myself back to my level of three years ago. Consider yourself so damned lucky that your only handicap is not being able (financially or emotionally, I suspect there's an even balance there...) to get new glasses so you can still be on the court.

I think it's extremely important not to stop playing. But from everything I've read for the last month here in your blog, I wonder seriously why you push yourself so hard. Neither one of us is 25 any more. We cannot honestly expect our bodies to respond like they once did, and when reading between the lines I cannot help but think you haven't accepted this reality.

Keep yourself in shape. Yes. Take risks with your body and your eyes: NO. Once you have that one accident, you'll regret have been so stubborn.

I had no accident. Just a misguided medical team who didn't listen to me when I spoke of pain. Knowing how important my hands are to me, they did nothing to suggest they were out of their depth and that maybe a specialist would be of help. My current problems could have been avoided. I should be able to maintain five hours of rehearsal in a single day. I can no longer get beyond 60-90 minutes once a day.

Please try to do your best not to aggravate yours.

71 Days 7 Hours ago, in response to "Point Guard For A Day"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

Sounds like if you'd left the court an hour earlier you would have had more energy to write!!!!!!

It's the only way. Regular work. I'm right now in a shit-filled place because I've a new tendinitis problem in my left elbow that's causing cramps in that thumb so I can't get to the piano daily like I should. My physical therapist told me if I don't continue giving my hands their daily workout muscular atrophy will add a new set of complications, which I'm discovering to be true.

So I admire your being able to psych yourself up to get to the Y every day. Of course you've got pain pills that help...

Keep plugging away!

75 Days 23 Hours ago, in response to "Finally, Respect...and how I lost it again!"

Brian Keith Compton

said:

Sorry Alfred, I just entered this 50-something era and am looking around at my accomplishments with little to justify my idle nature. Hanging around guys a lot younger than me and that ghastly light that hovers over my bathroom mirror frighten me and remind me of what I was...and what I could have been. I guess I can accept growing old, if I didn't have the baggage of regret.

Thanks very much for the acknowledgement with the ribbon for this blog. It is always a pleasure to see your participation and have you as a sounding board. Is that like a tuning fork? Are you helping me find my pitch?

I was going to blog a little about my brother and recollections of the past today, but discovered I lost an hour and have to be somewhere else soon. Time just keeps creeping up on me. Do you think when the poles shift or flip I might get some of it back?

76 Days 7 Hours ago, in response to "Finally, Respect...and how I lost it again!"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

You say it all here: "No one really knows me or what I am trying to achieve now going on 51.". The game is not JUST a game for you; there's always something you have to prove to yourself.

"Hidden agendas" are never good. And even more so, I'd say, in this situation where you've befriended so few people who might be able to stick up for you after "incidents" on the court.

But it's a great move on Alex's part to view you as a mentor. I hope that in seeing his eyes glow in appreciation and admiration you will find a way to stop looking for the paternal approval you never had.

And as a soon-to-be 57-year-old, 50 is NOT old!

80 Days 13 Hours ago, in response to "WDC Authors In Print"

Brian Keith Compton

said:

With writing, I find it difficult to create a schedule. I blame myself for seeing the kids as an obstacle to creating the type of environment I need to hammer out a complete manuscript.

I went through a lot of writing course during my college years and from time to time think about taking cues from some other writing courses. I joined a local writers group in my community, hoping to find inspiration to work one-on-one with others who also need help cultivating their novel attempts.

I do struggle with finding constant motivation, because I am inspired to get projects started that are seldom seen to completion. I keep wondering how I will sustain a drive. I think I just need constant association with a project, so it can never die.

Thanks for the input. I value your feedback.

Take care

80 Days 14 Hours ago, in response to "Yesterday"

Brian Keith Compton

said:

Thank You Alfred,

There were a lot of days I wish now I had blogged, because writing about this gives me perspective and helps me come full circle with the game I have loved since childhood. I want to find a way for this to relate, perhaps even fictionalize a character based on myself. I am not good at creating characters and would have to do some research.

84 Days 6 Hours ago, in response to "Yesterday"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

They say to write about what you know. I know nothing about the technical aspects of successful basketball playing, but your enthousiasm is obvious.

With a little bit of work you could easily write to the masses on this subject.

Working title: Blind Basket.

84 Days 7 Hours ago, in response to "WDC Authors In Print"

alfred booth, wanbli ska

said:

Start by forcing yourself to do a blog entry every night before turning in. Then after a week, add 30 minutes of uninterrupted writing before the day's blog. Even if the blog gets four paragraphs per day, it's one way of getting back into the habit.

I go through regular bouts of "why bother?" I know myself well enough that I won't do the research necessary to finding which magazines to submit to or which publishing houses will be interested in my novel, which still needs massive editing. I have thousands of poems and my first problem has always been making a selection for a volume of them to be sent out. I've tried creating a data base to catalog them but got frustrated t the sheer enormity of the task after plowing through a mere tenth of my production. That project peddled out three years ago and of course as each consecutive year ends, there are even more items to be added.

But this research is a necessary step to anything other than self-publication. Then comes the promotion and that is another ball game altogether.

I earn my living off of my fist love: music, and adore teaching. Wasn't always that way. So I have an extremely regular and faithful creative outlet which means writing poetry is no longer a daily necessity.

Have you tried creative writing books or any of the classes offered here on WDC? That might be a good start. You need to find all the tips you can get to help you start writing on a regular basis. Because no one publishes a novel if they can't devote more than an hour a day to writing. Once those words are penned, they will need thrice the time in editing.

I thought that I would be able to do all of that. But, as was the case trying to become a concert pianist, if you don't know how to sell yourself and whom to sell yourself to, all the talent in the world won't help. And public relations is another job in and of itself.

Good luck!

90 Days 15 Hours ago, in response to "And Then I Met Her..."

JennLuvCheese

said:

Your lady would appreciate it if you weren't such a gentleman all the time! As a matter of fact...feel free to be the exact opposite any time!

18. Thank You For The Honor	ID #669886
Posted: 9-30-2009 @ 4:00 pm EDT Edited: 9-30-2009 @ 4:02 pm EDT

I was totally surprised to learn I earned the Shining Star award today. Through my affiliation with Rising Stars, the Circle of Sisters determined my entry "Old Log" was the best entry this month. I knew they didn't have a lot of entries this month and just thought I would contribute, since I haven't entered the contest for some time. What a nice surprise.

I'm also overwhelmed with all the kind replies and further reviews received today. I want to thank everyone and hope that I can appropriately respond to all. I'm especially proud to be a Rising Star, now Shining Star, today. It wouldn't be possible without MDuci and Gabriella for supporting me for so long and helping me keeping my head on straight.

Thanks to all the reviewers for the high marks. I only wish I could be more active on this site, and perhaps I will be in the near future. if time permits.

Thanks. I've got to run. Kids are getting off the bus now!

~ Brian

"Shine On Me" [ASR]

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17. Tinkering With the Front Page	ID #669688
Posted: 9-28-2009 @ 11:50 pm EDT Edited: 10-3-2009 @ 5:58 am EDT

I keep tinkering with the front page of my portfolio Brian Keith Compton in hopes of driving traffic to my latest articles or items that earn me a few pennies here and there at Helium.com. Since it is the season, I've decided to go retro-autumnal and list a few oldies.

Fall is one of my favorite times of the year to write about. I'm going to add to this blog entry later with some other seasonal favs.

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16. Linking Writing.Com articles on Google	ID #669616
Posted: 9-28-2009 @ 12:42 pm EDT Edited: 9-28-2009 @ 1:14 pm EDT

subtitle: toiling in anonymity

This has been slow going. I've been trying to increase my traffic here by linking my items on Google using my Google account. You can boost your items, add comments to draw attention, but it all may be for naught.

The problem with linking is the articles don't have titles when they are listed. Because Writing.Com identifies items by number, there is nothing in the title or tag line to grab someone's attention. The underlying subtext hasn't shown much to draw reader's either.

For instance, my Favre blog. I link entries but they don't show anything but the item number and the same blog intro blurb. So, if someone does a keyword search for Favre's latest last minute comeback, googlers won't be able to see what my entry is about or have any reason to be teased into clicking the link.

This is one of the reasons Writing.Com seems insulated from the rest of the internet community. I would advocate a change in the item labeling system. I know this might be a headache or nightmare overhaul, or maybe not. What do I know?

What I do know is that a lot more traffic could be generated if item numbers were replaced with the keywords describing the articles written at this website. Then, exposure to the outside world and many new members may arrive. Or, maybe that's a bad thing since this website has a big fish in a small pond mentality that keeps it's current membership happy rather than attracting more skilled writers.

I see the benefits of keeping my focus on blogging for sites that pay you for the visitors you draw. Using Ad Sense could derive some income. It just takes some internet savvy and finagaling to make it happen. Something I don't have time for, unless I thought I was a big deal and could make a lot of money for my words.

I'll keep it simple until or unless that day comes when I feel I could break out and actually make a name for myself on the internet. For now, I'll mire amid the toilers of anonymity.

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15. A Heart Such As Mine	ID #669191
Posted: 9-25-2009 @ 7:58 am EDT

I know I say I'm done with poetry, but there have been many on the back burner. The latest is something that I have tinkered with for some time and today just looked at it and decided to flip a few things around until it seemed coherent enough to let others see. I'll link here and hope for the best.

ID: 1599342 (Rated: ASR)
A Heart Such As Mine

Pessimistic rant of a symbolic heart seeking freedom from the bonds of conformity.
by Brian Keith Compton

There are other poems still longing for my attention. I find these days with nothing relevant to do these poems give me a chance to tie up some loose ends, feel a sense of accomplishment until something else comes along.

14. Thank You Angel Army!	ID #668991
Posted: 9-23-2009 @ 6:06 pm EDT

13. Beg Me, Push Me, Goad Me, Praise Me...	ID #668643
Posted: 9-21-2009 @ 1:31 am EDT

12. Unsuccessful poem/poet	ID #668491
Posted: 9-19-2009 @ 11:30 pm EDT Edited: 9-19-2009 @ 11:31 pm EDT

11. Thinking of Mom...	ID #668333
Posted: 9-18-2009 @ 10:54 pm EDT Edited: 9-19-2009 @ 9:45 pm EDT

10. Plagiarist Kicked To Internet Curb	ID #668237
Posted: 9-18-2009 @ 9:52 am EDT

9. A Forgotten Poem Returns...	ID #667713
Posted: 9-14-2009 @ 2:13 pm EDT Edited: 9-16-2009 @ 7:51 am EDT