I am going to a Writer's Conference in May and will be able to send in three (3) poems for a contest and a ten (10) page manuscript of poems for critique. I would love feed back from every one on which poems to send.

For any one interested in attending the conference here is the link

www.lifeway.com/christianwriters

God Bless
Dejaa
 

Just stopping in to say things are coming together. We have the dress rehearsal today for the Ceremony and tomorrow they will be leaving out. Life will slow down a little. I hope!

I miss just being able to sit and write. I have stayed so tired this last two weeks that it seems like a race between my husband and myself as to who will fall asleep on the couch first each evening.

God Bless
Dejaa
 

Thought I would take a few minutes this morning for an update. The preparations for the send off are well under way. I finally received a conformation from the local High School Band that they will play at the send off. They are even talking about placing an advertisement in the newspaper requesting any and all former and current band members from other schools in the area to come and join them in honoring the troops.

My anxiety level is running quite high right now. I still have to go up to North Arkansas and retrieve my husband and bring him home no later than 4pm Tuesday, and I have had no word as to when I can pick him up. Sunday is out of the question, my father is giving his testimony that night and I am supposed to sing a couple of songs for that. My co-worker broke her leg last weekend so I have been in the office by myself all week and possibly for the next two week.

Well as I have bounced back and forth writing this and taking care of business, I received a wonderful phone call this afternoon. Stems Floral Design, a local florist that does beautiful work has offered to donate the whole 160 roses so that each Soldier can be given one as they leave the ceremony to give to a loved one before getting on the buses. That has taken a great load off of my mind.

It is now 3:30 pm and I am just now getting back to this little post. I finally called Arkansas and I will be picking him up tomorrow around 2:00 p.m., another ten hours of driving. I have a meeting in the morning to discuss the press release before I head out.

I all of this sounds like a whole lot of whining, but it really is not. I have used this blog today to collect my thought and keep my sanity, did not think that was possible today.

It is now almost one 1:00 am I got busy again and did not get to finish, so I brought it home with me. Love jump drives. I fell asleep after supper and the dogs woke me up. There is a large pack running tonight and some very inconsiderate people pulling up close by playing very loud music (if you can call it that) back and forth since about midnight. Now I’m having trouble getting back to sleep so I thought I would finish and post this.

God Bless All
Dejaa

 

Well, I made it through the weekend and did not kill anyone. Twenty hours of driving and up at five am every morning to get to Guard Drill has taken its toll on me. I feel very sleep deprived.

Since I had to wait at drill all day each day and my brain was not up to par, I took my laptop and worked on genealogy most of the time I was there. It is hard for me to sit and do nothing, but it was also hard to focus with the FRG people all around me wanting to talk. I loaded my jump drive with all the census pages I have collected and sat and transcribed information into a word document. Now I can cut and paste into my genealogy software.

I keep reminding myself, just a couple more weeks and my brain and body can slow down and catch up. I can get my focus back on my writing again. I try to sit down and write a little bit each day, but I can't seem to keep my focus on what I am doing for trying to coordinate things for the send off in June. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. The Major gave me the Preliminary Procedures and preparation for the send off. I now have to find a band or someone to play the National Anthem and other patriotic songs for the sendoff. Flowers for the soldiers to give to their significant other before they leave my kids a church have been making signs to decorate the convention center for the send off.

This all seems so strange for the one person that did not want to get involved with all these things to be the very one doing a good portion of it. Right now I am trying to get the local Congressman to come and speak at the sendoff, so I better get back to it.

Just want to let every one know I'm still here.

God Bless
Dejaa

 

I'm still here, and steady making lemonade. I have been so busy these last few weeks that I feel like I am steady loosing ground instead of gaining it. I will be traveling this weekend to North Arkansas to pick up my husband and take him to Guard Drill then have to return him on Monday. They will be deploying mid June. I won't have access to a computer much of that time. I will try and check in on Saturday or Sunday just to catch up on email and see what is going on.

I have not gotten much writing or anything else done this last few weeks, but as soon as the outside forces stops demanding more of my time than I am willing to give and my brain gets a little less scrambled I will get back to what I love doing.

God Bless
Dejaa
 

First thing I would like to do is say thank you to all my friends on here for their support and help with the newsletter for the Guard Unit. The Major and both Colonials were well pleased with the finished product. Production went up when I arrived at Guard drill this morning. The Unit has grown from one-hundred and twenty-eight to one-hundred and sixty, and they still have a little over a month before they deploy so there may be more. I left drill this evening with over one-hundred new emails to post.

Dave thank you very much for allowing me to publish your poem "Trust"  in the newsletter. The newsletter has been uploaded to the website.
www.waterdawgs1387.com

I look forward to being publishing many more of the wonderful works that have been offered for the newsletter. Thank you again to everyone for your help and support.

On another note, I have been struggling with ideas of getting myself organized in regards to getting published in the world outside of the National Guard. I’m not sure how I want to organize the information I collect on guidelines, etc. I remember seeing Dave and Isa posting on that topic. Note to self: reread.

Good Night all
God Bless
Dejaa

 

Growing up, home life was like that of many other children. A family that was supportive in many ways, but an outside world supportive in very few ways. The life of a second grader in hand-me-down clothes, the first day on the bus to a private school became the bane of her existence for years to come. There was no chance to out-run, out-fight, or out-last the criticism and name calling that would last for over ten years and be with her every where she went.

This little girl became the tail end of every mean prank and joke that the minds of children and teenagers could conceive. Living in a very small community caused this treatment to span over every aspect of her life except home. Home, a safe haven of books, art, music, and writing, none of these activities required interaction from other humans. She became reclusive, leaving room in her life for only two close friends, and animals as companions and confidants, but never letting anyone else get too close for comfort, never letting anyone into the inner sanctum for fear of rejection and hurt.

She learned at an early age, people only liked her when they could use something she possessed, whether it was knowledge, a skill, or and object. She was always striving for acceptance and always receiving rejection from the outside world. Throughout the high school years, different emotions were exhibited to mask her fear until she was finally able to escape not only where she was from but also who she was.

Leaving small town America for what seemed a new life, a make over was in order. Changing not only her way of life but also her name, only two close friends and her family knew who Doris was the rest of the world only knew DeJaa. Over the years, the inner struggles and growth caused DeJaa to become stronger, safer, and more secure in her own thoughts and abilities. Still never trusting, always jumping at offensive jokes handed to her or directed at someone else, she became the defender of the oppressed and offended though never dealing with her inner emotions.

The two lives collided when she moved back, to small town America. Though most of the family was now gone, the children she grew up with were still there, all grown up. Several more years of living a life of a recluse would pass before the demons were confronted. The family that was left even called her DeJaa. She only had to deal with one friend still calling her Doris, it was hard at first, but she learned to accept that it was part of who she was and who she would always be.

The cringing at the old name slowly subsided as time went by and the old friendship blossomed causing her to become braver and step out into the old world of people that still caused her fear. The faces were the same though older, but the voices were different. No longer were there taunts and jeers. They called her by here given name, but not the names they called her growing up. Had they really changed or had she just changed? Where were the monsters of her youth?

They had all grown up and put aside the childish ways of youth. They were now respected business men and women, many not even remembering the way things use to be. Some remembering and even giving voice to those remembrances with atonements and questions of why it ever happened. Many still had the same sarcastic sense of humor; though older and wiser they used less hurtful word towards the victims of their humor. These actions still caused her to recoil for a while unsure of the meaning of their actions.

Maturity has its advantages in that people learn to act rather than react to situations and can diffuse negative actions without using negative reactions. Though still leading a double life, keeping her private life and her public life as separate as possible, the two starts to become entwined and harder to keep separated. People from her old world encountered the people in her new world and they started exchanging information. Confusion ensued, as each group knew the same person by a different name.

When two lives collide the baggage can become a heavy burden, and the load needs to be lightened, or the burden becomes unmanageable. When fusing two identities one should keep the good and discard the rubbish, the baggage that weighs a person down, and tears down their self esteem. She merged the two lives to become a whole person, and finally allowed people to see the real person complete, grown, self-aware, self-assured, and self-reliant. No longer wanting or needing affirmation or acceptance from them or anyone else. Simply content and happy with the person she has become.


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Word count 811
 

I finally heard back form Refocus Magazine yesterday and went back to their web site to look around. http://www.refocusmagazine.com. This is a new Christian magazine that is geared toward Christian youth with and emphasis on music, art, photography, and poetry. The web site is under construction and the paper magazine has not gone to the presses yet and does not have a start date yet. They have upgraded their web site several times in the last month it now includes poem qualifications since the last I looked at it.


I don't really understand number system, but I do understand their criteria. It reads as follows.

"Qualification information:

Qualification for publication shall be based on sub categories:

1: Clarity
2: Originality
3: Message*

We will examine the poetry with these criteria in mind and will assign a numerical value between 1 and 7 to each. The ratings will thus range from 3 to 21. There is not a set minimum score for each poem to be considered for publication, however highest rated poems will get first consideration for publication.

*we will not publish poems that are deemed to fall outside the scope of our mission statement
http://www.RefocusMagazine.com/mission"

The link to the mission statement does not work yet, but I did find it in another area:

"Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things."-Phillipians 4:8

I'm not really sure where to go from here. I am thinking do I need to make some kind of copyright notice to place on the bottom of my poem before I send it to them. I still don't know which poem (s) I want to submit. My friend here at work would like for me to send in "As She Felt the Masters Call" . Of course she is a little prejudice since this is the one I wrote as her mom was leaving this world, and I read at her funeral.

Now that I have a place to submit one or more poems "What Do I Do Next?'

Possibly "Shine His Light"  or "I Ran"  or "Choices" 

Well this looks like my for choices. What do you think?

God Bless
Dejaa
 

Hopefully my stress level will return to a more normal roar this week. The cantata is now over, and it went very well. It is always so pleasant and rewarding to stand back in the shadows and hear people I have never met before talk about how well the choir did and that each year it just gets better. Although, we sing for an audience of One it is nice when people are pleased because they came out to listen taking away a little joy and peace even for a little while.

I was quite delighted in the fact that at the beginning of this season, all of our youth were ask to join us this year and over ninety percent did and had a great time. I think we have new choir members now. They did an excellent job as a praise team and as part of the choir. Our next season is not until harvest since some of our members leave for the summer to harvest wheat and corn though out the Midwest, so we will not start up again until it is time for them to come home. This should get me back on a good schedule of writing ever night and my Sunday afternoons will be free to write again. I have missed that the last few weeks.

As for the stress over my husband, it is starting to ease more. One thing about where he is. I know where he is, and he is safe. Hopefully he will have learned from the consequences of his actions and may change his life this time. It could have always been much worse than it is. He still has what he wants most right now and that is to go to Iraq with his unit. Sad to say but the military is where he is the most productive in his life.

I do not know that I could do what he does, to have someone constantly give me order. Tell me where and when I could do something. He thrives on it. My mother always wanted me to join the Air Force when I was young sometimes now I wish I had listened to her. But then… I was a true artist, totally right brained or so I thought. I could not stand the idea to dealing with some drill Sergeant barking orders all the time. I kept telling her that I would stay in the stockade or what ever the Air Force jail was. When in reality I was just a little country girl that had never been away from home for more than a few days, very shy, sheltered, emotionally scarred, and scared of the people.

Life has brought me a long way from that little girl, and those scars have either been worn off or callused over to make me the woman I am today. No longer scared, still a little scarred, but no longer hard hearted either.

Thanks for letting me ramble this morning. I had better get ready for work. The one stressor that I can’t get rid of. I use to love going to work and helping people. Ah, but that for another day.

God Bless
Dejaa

 

Though sometimes I wonder if I really am suppose to be a writer, and if I am, what is the best way to use what abilities I have. I enjoy writing and learning, and the newsletter and web site have opened opportunities to use the writing skill that I am learning. They allow me to use my abilities to give our Guard Unit a link to home and possibly some entertainment.

Just when I think, ok this is good maybe this is what I should do. I get another push to keep writing. I got a pleasant surprise when I went to my piano lesson last night, my teacher ask me to collaborate on some song writing. He says he is not comfortable writing words, but is a quite capable of writing music. Who knows, we may not come up with the next gold record, but it may provide us with the opportunity to sing fresh new songs in church that have meaning and may touch a need.

I don't know how far we will get, or even if we will be able to accomplish anything meaningful or pleasant, but I'm willing to give it a go and pray that God can use us in some way. I'm not sure when we will start this collaboration, he has final coming up in May. As life progresses I'll keep updates posted here.

God Bless
Dejaa