Hi folks, I hope you're having a good day. I tell you, you've got to be careful what you wish for. For example, I wished I had some time off work and now here I am, sick as a dog and relapsed with my stupid sinuses. This isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Another thing is that I've been down lately. I've been trying to hide it, but I can't anymore. I just can't seem to get anything going or to succeed at things like I did last year or the year before. I don't have anything to show for my efforts with my writing over the last couple of years. Sure, my portfolio has grown, but I haven't published anything in over a year. I'm not even winning contest around the site anymore. What do you do when something that's been working so well for you suddenly stops? I don't know. I know we all go through low spells and I seem to be in one. I guess that's what I get for planning to research and write a book about a girl with depression. While I'm fully aware that this is situational and will pass, I certainly didn't intend to get this kind of real-life expereince with the issue!

Rick and Mom want me to talk to my doctor about it. I'm pretty convinced that it's just a low point and will pass. I did plan to talk to her if they let me come in about my sinuses yesterday, but they didn't. They sent me somewhere else to get the CAT scan and called me late yesterday afternoon with the results. I just got an E-mail saying that the antibiotic they called in for me is filled, so I suppose I need to drag myself to the pharmacy and pick it up. I guess swine flu is so bad that they're trying to keep people from coming in. But since I didn't see her, I decided that perhaps my main priority should be to get over this stupid infection and work on my emotional state myself.

Truthfully, I'm ashamed of myself. I shouldn't be like this. I need to pick myself up, find some motivation, and keep moving. Things really aren't that bad and pouting over not getting published, a work move that I have no control over, flaky friends, and frustrations over little things seems a waste of time and energy.

Rick says the big problem is that I never get out anymore, and I should. It's true. If I'm not at work, I'm at home.
When I was younger I used to go out a lot just to be out, but since I started working I found myself doing it less and less until I wasn't doing it at all any more. These days, my week is typically go to work, get groceries, go by the pharmacy (if needed) and go out to eat a couple of times on the weekends. That's it. So perhaps he's right and I do need to get out there some more. He suggested that we go out this weekend to maybe start some Christmas shopping, or to see a movie. Heck, he even suggested I go out today, but I feel too miserable to do that. I'll try to work on getting better so I can maybe get out some more soon.

So that's it folks - the truth. I'm sick and have the blues. I really hate feeling this way and want to pull myself out of this rut.

I'm going to pick up my antibiotic now and see if there's anything around here that I can do. The house is clean (thank God), so maybe I can work on reading "The Other Bible." I really want to finish that as soon as I can. I'm ready to start reading my mystery novels again. It's been a long time since I did that.

Here's hoping you have a great day. See you later.

Bye!