Misdeeds? can't think of any. I am an obedient daughter and sister. And most importantly, I'm always supported, and guided when I tend to do something wrong.

Tried to be a bit productive today, had a little bit of work today at office, had to admit two students, and prepare one or two student sheets. Boss coming back from India today, glad I could gather up a good amount of cash to give him over the past 7 days, thanks to Allah.

It seems like I've turned upside down. I'm trying to write down a story for the past few days, but penned down two poems instead in the last one week. Hey come on, I'm not a good poet I know, but it's still worth trying. Wanna read it? "Secret Wishes" .

Finally, it rained after a few days of continuous heat wave. I had to shower right after coming back from office and my hair is still wet. .

Gave one review for rising stars, and did an assignment. Productive huh? Did not enjoy my lunch of buns and banana, it's already dinner time, gotta go see what Mom has in stock for me. Have a good day all!

 

Well, life's going on at a good pace now. I went to my favorite shopping mall today and realized I needed change for everyday use. Unfortunately, I didn't have the 1000 taka note with me. Taka, by the way, is our local currency. Which means, I'll have to send dad to get me the change...Oh no!

Did buy a few sachets of tea and coffee though, caffeine keeps me fresh at times. Been drinking a lot of water lately, thanks to the summer sun. I have a really funny Hindu colleague who keeps me laughing all throughout the day, thank you bro. Normally they call me madam, while I use either brother or sir, as appropriate.

Don't know why I'm feeling depressed lately, I'm blessed with a lot of things and am always thankful for them, still...maybe I miss a real friend when my other friends can be together whenever they want.

I know my parents love me a lot, but sometimes they can be so overprotective, I seriously don't know why, because I know my limits very well, and will never cross them.

What do you do when you need a friend? always seek refuge to pen and paper? that doesn't work all the time I guess.
 

I usually try to be as patient as I can while waiting. But sometimes, especially while waiting at a doctor's chamber, sometimes I get bored and spend my time watching the other patients, and if possible, by talking with some of them. I love to know about others, but since I don't go out much, except for a few selected places, I don't like wasting any chance of knowing others in any way I can.

I usually have to go through certain trials, it can be both physical and mental, before getting something good. I call these trials patience tests, and whenever this happens, I know Allah will give me something good.

Besides, nagging or complaining about something will get me nowhere, so it's wiser to be patient. I normally fix my budget a few days before salary day, so I can spend accordingly.

Waiting for results, especially academic ones, makes me very tense, I even tend to loose my appetite at times. But overall, I think waiting for something is worth it in one way or another.
 

My day was completely filled with boredom today till 3 pm. Actually my boss went abroad for a few days, something I didn't know. We have neither new students, nor new clients for the past few days. So, my days I spent mostly by reading newspapers.

I also like to scribble whatever comes to my mind at times, which later on turns to poems, stories or essays. The days have become very humid and hot these days, and I'm sweating profusely, so I can also add the frequent trips to the wash room to wash my face, after all, I don't want those unwanted pimples.

Currently, I'm writing a children's story which I plan to finish today or tomorrow.
 

I feel a little awkward when I trip down on the road, accidentally most of the time, while walking. I also feel both bad and sad when I see girls my age dressed up just to seduce guys. If decency means being old-fashioned, I'm glad I'm one of the old fashioned ones.
 

Weather certainly affects my mood. Too much sun makes me drowsy, and I tend to doze off at office quite frequently. On the other hand, rain makes me energetic and creative.

Spring, which is from February to April, happens to be my favorite season. It's neither hot nor cold. And it's flowers and birds everywhere.

Thank God we had a blogging challenge, it keeps me away from writer's block. Had a pretty lazy day at office. On Wednesdays, we neither have classes, nor immigration, migration or student visa clients.

Enjoying a good "Frunch" (lunch with fruits) every afternoon. Mangoes, watermelon, and apples, and two liters of water. Isn't it good for a sunny afternoon? Also had grilled chicken and bread in the evening, so I skipped dinner today.

Couldn't walk back home from office like I usually do, thanks to the sudden rain, and the obvious puddles of water as a result. Instead, I had to hire a four-wheeled public transport. I need to reduce a bit, as reduced weight means better walking.
 

This is really irritating! I'm constantly getting prank calls through my cellphone. On my way to office, at bedtime, you name it! One goes: "Wanna be my friend?" Another says:"I love you". I'm like, hell, why me? why can't you guys go to another girl who likes such phone friends?

Well, I actually did make a phone friend recently. This guy, a 19 year old, talks in an unusual accent, and he seems genuine. I like talking to him when there's nothing else to do.

Unfortunately, I've overspent this month. I didn't pay my music school fees for a few consecutive months, and that took away a good amount of my income. Well, I won't be able to give the year end exam if I don't pay, so I guess that's worth it.

I sometimes feel the need of a good friend. That's when I turn to either books or pen and paper. These things, these real friends can hardly deceive you, and they're readily available whenever you need them. There's just one best friend I can turn to when I'm blue, and even he lives in the UK now. Everyone I actually love seems to live away from me, other than my parents and sisters. But same companions sometimes can be boring, Especially with such huge age differences between siblings, there's always a fine line between thoughts. Sometimes I even think: "Why was I born in the first place?" Mom Dad already had 5 kids before me! Maybe my life has a special purpose, I wonder what?


 

My most favorite book happens to be Anne Frank's Diary. I just adore the way a teenage girl found herself an imaginary friend she could write to almost every day. Keeping a journal definitely helps you to be relieved when you're feeling lonely or sad.

Life definitely isn't a bed of roses, and a teenager has a lot of desires especially when she's in a hideout. I wonder how I'd feel if I had to eat watery porridge for quite a long time. Moreover, Anne didn't even have a supportive mother. I love the way she had written even her most secret wishes, and how she had dealt with people she didn't like. The book also portrays discrimination, racism. It also taught me how to be patient in difficult situations.

And it has one of my favorite quotes: "Paper has more patience than people"


 

I can watch both Stuart Little one and two over and over again. Though it centers around a tiny mouse, it also shows what being a brother actually means. Also, it's easy to follow, and it takes me back to my childhood. I had first watched it back in grade six, and I immediately fell in love with the little white mouse and it's feline enemies.

Another movie I adore is Jane Eyre. Jane seemed like a girl with complete determination. I loved the novel, and still own a copy. I can completely relate to the struggles and finally heave a sigh of relief when she finally gets to marry Mr. Rochester.

A third all time favorite is Titanic. Celine Dion's enchanting voice still lingers in my ears. Kate Winslet looked like a real beauty there, and I enjoyed the way the story was being told, though the whole film was in flashback.
 

I can completely relate to Yera's entry, I was a teacher before joining my present office. Still, I meet a couple of my students either on the streets or at my music school. Oh, how I miss being with them.

Dad returned from our village home today. He brought my favorite fruit, raw mangoes. I love raw mango slices mixed with a little chilli powder, salt, and sugar. Yum!

This summer's getting hotter every day. The mercury reached 35 degrees celcius yesterday. Nothing's better than a cool glass of lemonade now. Summer does bring plenty of juicy fruits for us. I was munching on some star apples just a little while ago. Fruits grown under Dad's tender care has a special taste.

Got my salary today. Spent a good amount on cosmetics. Powder, soap, shampoo, conditioner and a certain remover. Also got a toothbrush for mom and a dozen of eggs. Friday tomorrow, so I finally get a day off.

I ended up with a band score of 7 in my IELTS exam. English is not my mother tongue, but it's my passion. Couldn't distribute sweets at office today, which is a tradition after a good result. Have to do some writing tomorrow. Time is precious, so use it wisely.

Anyone wants to see me? Here I am!

"Mom, I love you", is something I hardly said to my mother. Being the youngest of six siblings, I was always surrounded with love and care. Since childhood, she seldom shouted at me, never punished me for being naughty. She always has the courage to fight with the whole world just for me.

My mother got married at a very early age almost fifty years back. Being a teenage wife, life was not really easy for her. Living at a remote rural area back in the late 60's, one had to fight with even the simplest things. Despite having an academic background of just high school, mom used to learn valuable lessons mainly from daily life. Fortunately, she always had her mother-in-laws support, which is not really common here, even today. There's always a thin fight between daughter in law, and mother in law.

Thread and needle seemed to be her passion. Everyone admired her crochet works and embroidery. She was, and still is, an excellent cook. Unfortunately, she seldom lets me enter the kitchen, though my sisters inherited both her needle and culinary skills.

Despite being simple, Mom loves to dress up in a suitable, yet trendy way. She's short, but she can still walk at a great speed even after crossing 50. She's always encouraging all five of us to be independent, which is why my eldest sister earns a handsome amount every month to run the family. If my mother wished, she could have tied my sisters in holly matrimony years ago. In our society, financial independence is very important for women.

"You're a little different from others, don't let that turn you down, strive forward, in your own way." One piece of advice my mom always has in stock for me. She was the one who got me admitted to an English medium school, back in the early 90's when our family was not in a position to afford the expenses. Still, she told me I'd be in English medium all throughout my life, which I was, thankfully.

I still remember going to art and music classes with her as a child, which developed my creative side. Back then, such extra skills were considered as a squander of money, especially for challenged children. Parents liked to keep their children buried in academic books instead.

Still today, even after growing into a complete adult, I'm her little girl. She walks all the way to my office ignoring the scorching rays of the summer sun, just to give me lunch. She'd spend hours on the prayer mat if I fell ill. She'd go all around the capital city just to find the best things for me. To be very honest, I'd always like to be the child in her eyes. Love you Mom.
 

I really miss music classes these days. I had office last Friday, which is actually my only day off. I'm doing a diploma in Tagore song from a well known music school here. I have classes on Fridays and Saturdays, and classical music is mandatory for all of us.

For those who don't know, Rabindranath Tagore was a Nobel laureate Indian poet who won the Nobel back in 1913 for his poetry book (or song book) Geetanjali. His was the first Bengali to win the Nobel.

It felt really good on the 14th of April, when I walked up stage with a group of my peers to perform in three consecutive chorus songs. 14th of April is the Bengali new year's day, which is celebrated with a lot of enthusiasm every year. After one cultural program, I had to perform in another one. Then again, I was placed in front of the microphone when I went to office that day to be a part of the celebration.

Singing really soothes my mind, though I won't say my voice is attractive. Moreover, I also love dressing up in traditional red and white outfits on the first of Boishakh. Boishakh is the first month of the Bengali calendar. A lot of fairs are organized, where people enjoy rediscovering themselves.

I also feel on top of the world when I'm writing. Pen happens to be a magic wand which can transform cruelty into sweetness, and dreams into reality. The world of creations is a world of my own, and none can steal the pleasure I get from there.

One lesson learnt from life: Love those who actually wants to be loved, not those who prefers to play with your feelings.
 

I had to spend another long day at office without almost no work to do. Moreover, I hate the frequent power cuts because the little IPS at office is out of order, Grr. Today was a government holiday, still we had office. Well, doing office works is much better than sleeping or watching tv at home.

To be honest, despite having a very sweet relationship with both of my sisters, I don't always enjoy their company, because they are 15 and 14 years older than me respectively. At times, I really wish I had a twin. I miss the enjoyment of being with my own age group.

I'm supposed to write something about rain within two days, wish I can get started soon. I'm the only female at office, but I'm not isolated, thanks to my friendly colleagues. I enjoy the long walks back home. I know, it'd take just 20 minutes by a rickshaw to reach home from office, but I really need the walk to keep myself fit.

It's a really hot summer, so I know I have to keep myself hydrated. But I don't drink water much. The water in the office filter doesn't really taste good. Juices are a good substitute, and I'm drinking that in moderation lately.

Didn't have a heavy lunch as usual. Just two singara, a popular snack made with flour and veggies. It's been a long time since I last talked with my best friend, who is also a little brother to me. I love giving the warmth of a sister to those who ask for it. A brother, especially a younger one, is a real blessing for a girl I think, that's a bond of completely unconditional, undoubted love between two individuals.
 

Did I ever get caught doing something bad? I guess not. The thing I hate to show people is when I massage painkiller jell on my aching foot. The odor is definitely unpleasant, and I really hate getting pity, so painkilling is something I prefer to do when alone.

I don't like eating rice for lunch like most other Bengalis, it really makes me sleepy. I'd prefer a light snack or some cubed fruits instead. So when my mom called saying: shall I bring you fish and rice? I straightaway said no. Had to eat it for dinner, though.

This stupid guy, my ex, wants to marry me, then wants me to stay at my parents' for four long years. He'd then take me to his own home after getting a job, he's still doing his undergraduate.

I'm a woman who prefers to have just one man throughout her entire life. According to religion, being intimate with anyone other than her own husband is a grave sin. Of course, a woman can be a friend to the opposite gender, but no romance with anyone save the hubby.

I know Allah has given me a lot, my own house, a loving family, my hobbies, job, everything. Am really thankful to Him. But sometimes, I do want to feel romantic for someone. Every girl wants to have her own family and children. I've always dreamt of handling my career and family together.

Unfortunately, I'd never be able to love anyone anymore. Not in the romantic sense. Because this stupid guy keeps on saying that he'd leave his family for me, which I'd never want. On the other hand, he also says that he'd have to face certain social problems if he marries me. So, marriage? No I guess. I'd rather have him as a friend.

My physical problem is not such a big one, still, we're considered as social burdens to some extent. I think it's wiser to remain single all throughout my life. One part of me will always crave to be called "Mom", but I guess all dreams don't come true!
 

Oh good, Labour day, thank God I got a day off. I do enjoy my job a lot, and I also have a very friendly boss who doesn't put any pressure on me. But sitting at a front desk all day long is not enjoyable all the time.

I seriously hate our politicians. They had called strikes for more than five consecutive days. Strikes means unexpected holidays, but on the other hand, I don't want to work on a Friday either, which is something I have to do this week. Hell!

Woke up late today, as I spent quite an amount of time talking with a friend over phone yesterday. This was actually my ex who broke up with me. Now he not only wants to come back, but wants to talk to my dad about our marriage. I told him to take time and come next year. Hope this was the right decision!
 

Getting busy at the office, also taking exam preparations. I like living on my own income. Maybe I won't be able to get back to regular studies anytime soon, but if that's what Allah has in stock for me, I have no complains. Everything will come to me in due time, if Allah wishes.

The weather here is pretty cool now, it feels great after some long days of burning heat. Though the moderate rainfall sometimes makes me sleepy, I am still in love with the weather.

I plan to develop myself into a stronger woman in this year. I plan to write more, read more and live more. It's time to be active and happy!

I want to be an active member of WDC again. I will write, read, send a fixed number of reviews everyday. Overall, I want to be that old self again. I missed WDC.

Sunny summer. I will enjoy every bit of it from now on!
 

I'll be glad to be back to studies. New semester begins on the 6th of June, and I've got two subjects this sem. Both are very good ones. I hope to score a 100 percent this time. Lord help me! I know getting a Gpa of 4 on 4 is not an easy job, it needs a lot of dedication. I'm gonna be as serious as I can be this time. I have to increase my gpa, else I won't be able to apply for scholarships. I need scholarships, really do.