...And some about the girl...

So maybe it should say 8y, 8m, 1d old?

Anywho...

Got together with Ryan's best friend James and his mom Kelly today. It's always so good to sit with Kelly and talk with her; I appreciate her immensely! Getting to talk to her helps when the boys decide they're going to play at the park for hours on end (we're usually there anywhere between 1 1/2 hours to 3 1/2 hours), and it's good to get to talk with a friend. I enjoy when we get to spend time together. She asked me if it would be okay if Ryan could come over to their house and play video games with James (they like to conference call each other while playing Mario Kart), and I told her absolutely. Any time they want him to come over, I'm for it, unless we have something else to do.

We enrolled Ryan into soccer this year. He hasn't played since he was 4. What's funny is, his friend James is enrolled in the same league as Ryan, so they might even get to be on the same team, or they might face each other! Ryan's excited for either prospect. It's good to know there's a familiar face in the league with him. We went today to get all his gear, considering he's outgrown all the gear he had last time he was in soccer! We had coupons to use that we got from the league as well, so that helped with the savings. It would've been $60, but we bought him a pair of slide shoes to wear after he takes his cleats off, and those cost $20 by themselves.

We would've enrolled Journey in soccer too, but she has trouble with gross motor skills. I don't want to put her in a situation where she can't keep up with the other kids; it would be bad for her self esteem, or so I think. It's very hard for her to do things like dribble a ball (running and kicking it at the same time), so I don't expect her to go out there and do all that with the other kids when she's not capable.

Speaking of Journey and her gross motor skills, Journey's having another IEP meeting, and it looks like we're going to be getting a couple more services for her. We're getting speech therapy (which is good, because she has a hard time verbalizing emotions), and she's getting an extra gym class every week to help her work with her gross motor skills. I'm very excited that she's getting these services, as she could really use them. I'm extremely grateful to her special ed teacher, because she's the one that fought so hard to get them for her. Journey just needs that extra little push to help her along. She's doing great in class! She's learning to read at level, and she can do math pretty well now (with minimal help!). Her teacher says she's doing great things, which makes me so happy to hear. I worry about her a lot, I'm so glad I get to come in and see her every Tuesday, and see how she's faring.


 

So tomorrow, Ryan is going over to a friend's house for a sleepover birthday party.

I am both proud, and terrified.

This will be the first time EVER, that he's been this far away from home, sleeping at another person's house. When he was 6, we let him sleep over at my friend Jenny's house, but that was when she lived right across the backyard from us. Her door was literally 25 feet away from mine. If anything happened, I could simply run to her door, get him and walk him back home in a matter of seconds. Nothing happened though, and he did fine.

This, though...this is a whole different animal.

I know this boy's mom. She's in charge of the PTA, or at least she was when I met her. Ryan talks about the boy a lot; they share a class together, and they both are in chess club. Ryan's been over to his house before; they spent the day playing video games. So it's not like we're not familiar with them. We are.

So that part of me is placated. I know them. They're good people. They have three sons. Ryan has a good time at their house.

But the other part of me, the "worrywart mom" part of me, is terrified. I am leaving my child, my 8 year old child, in a house with other people, for a night. I will not be there to tell him good night, or give him a hug, or anything. He will be sleeping miles away from where I am. Granted, it's still in town, and it's only a car ride away, but he is far from me.

There are only a handful of times I can count, that I have ever not been in the presence of my son. One time was when he was with my parents for a month when he was 18 months old (long story behind that. It ended up for the best though, because I wound up in the hospital very sick, and I would've had no one to take care of him while I was in intensive care.), when I spent three nights in the hospital from having Journey, and the night he went to Jenny's. This will only be the 4th time he's been away from me. I watch over my kids like a hawk. They do not go outside unless I am out there with them. They do not go anywhere unless I am with them, unless it's to a friend's house. And even then, in the case of Journey, she does not go without me. I am present there in that house with her. To me, 5 is much too young to be spending time alone in someone else's house. That, and her delay, are key factors in my not letting her be alone in a house with other people. She can't express herself verbally very well, especially emotions, dislikes, etc. If something upsets her, she can't tell them "I don't like this, I want to go home". She'll just cry. It's necessary for me to be there with her right now, to make that transition easier. Believe me when I say, it's not because I don't trust you. It is simply because my child is special needs.

Ryan is NOT special needs, in fact, he is very advanced. So much so that I sometimes forget he's only 8. He's very wise for his years. I know that if something upsets him or something seems scary, he will say something, and more than likely we will be called. Part of me wants to drill this into his head, so he remembers that I'm only a phone call away, and I will come get him ASAP. The other part of me says "Calm down Jamie, he's a big boy now, he'll be fine".

"But this is my little boy. He's never been away from home before!"

"He'll be fine. I promise. If anything goes wrong, he'll call."

"What if the other boys make fun of him for calling?"

"He knows what he likes and doesn't like, he won't do something just to save face and look cool in front of the other kids. That's not how Ryan rolls."

"Can we just tell him again and hug him extra hard?"

...

"Can we also pack him an extra pair of underwear? You never know when they'll come in handy."

"Seriously Jamie, get a hold of yourself."

Oh the arguments I have with myself!

So, tomorrow at 3:30 p,m,, we will officially be Ryan-less for the night. I honestly don't know if I'll be able to sleep. I'm sure Don will convince me somehow.
Momma needs a chill pill!

It's so hard to let go. Baby steps. A little at a time.

Boy, it sure is hard. But it's necessary to let them grow up.


 

So kids got their report cards for this quarter. Good grades abound! Journey's getting a lot of proficients, which I'm very proud of. There are still a few "In Process" ones, but she's getting a lot of what she's learning, which is good to hear. I'm very proud of her! We'll be getting her IEP goals sheet back today, to tell us how she's doing on that as well.

Ryan did perfectly, once more. He got straight A's again for this quarter as well! Hopefully they'll be holding another Honor Roll assembly and I can go and see him get another Principals Honor Roll ribbon for his good work. I'm so proud of him!