On days like today it is great to know that God looks on the "hidden person of the heart". I found this phrase in a devotional I use (try to use) daily.

Today was an unsettling day for me. Not outwardly, but inwardly. It was one of those days when I felt that I had lost direction. Perhaps it was influenced by the unsettling Spring weather. Perhaps not. I spent most of the day trying to find direction and I forgot to get my heart still and my mind quieted.

I think this is common for many of us. We feel pulled in so many directions; by the media, responsibilities, phone calls, families, schedules that are too full and demands upon ourselves, by ourselves. Yes, I demand and expect a lot from myself. I'm my own worst enemy a lot of the time. I let myself down, I let others down and I let my Heavenly Father down.

And then comes that 'still small voice'. Again. That gentle, quiet, loving voice deep inside, where the soul lives and breathes, saying "Be still and know."

I must have been listening for it. Some part of me was listening. It's so great to know that when I'm most destructive to myself, the Creator of all things speaks through the madness.

 

Sometimes I think we expect too much from our heroes and, yes, from ourselves as well. We want perfection in this society ... from our sports stars, from our movie stars and from our politicians, to name a few.

No one is perfect. We should strive for it, but we'll never reach it. We can expect it in others but, if we do, we should be prepared to be disappointed. It's the striving that's important but the failures are the teachers. When our heroes become less than perfect, let us remember they are human, like us, and probably doing the best they can.

I confess that I'm a perfectionist. I don't expect perfection like I did when I was younger. I probably wouldn't know it if I saw it. How close do we have to look to find this illusive thing? When did we tell ourselves that we need to be perfect. When did we decide that we are the judges of perfection, in ourselves or in anyone else?

We all have strengths and weaknesses. We have warts and blemishes and scars. We do the best we can, most of us, with what we have - with what we've been given. Let's look for the good, strive for the best, fall and get up again.

After all, we're all on this journey called life together. Sometimes we need a hand up. Sometimes we need to give one.

As Christians we aren't perfect, just forgiven.
 

I've been looking into my ancestry again lately. I started doing this many years ago, hit a dead end and stopped.

One thing that popped up the other day, while going through my newspaper clippings was the obituary for one of my maternal Great Grandfathers (the father of my mother's father). It seems that he fought in the Civil War. The obituary goes like this:

"The rapidly dwindling band of veterans of the Army of Northern Virginia, in the War Between the States, suffered another loss Monday night when the venerable J. W. Meeks, of Nelson County, father of Deputy Sheriff J. W. Meeks, of Alleghany County and Mr. A. P. Meeks, of Iron Gate, died at the ripe age of ninety years."

It makes me feel proud to know that my Great Grandfather fought in the Civil War and also that he lived to be ninety years old. That was a long time to live back then. It's still a long time to live. I wish I had a picture of him, but I don't.

I hope to preserve these findings for my children and grandchildren. It think it's important to know our roots. It gives a a sense of who we are and where we came from. It plants us firmly in our history and the history of our country of birth.

In my search, I also located the obituary of another Great Grandfather (the father of my mother's mother.) It says simply that: "Mr. Charles Miller, aged about 40 years, dropped dead early this morning while at work for one of the contracting firms building the Belt Line around the city. The cause of his death was heart disease." It goes on to say, "Mr. Miller is survived by a family and several friends, all of whom will learn of his sudden death with sincere regret."

This obit is so different from the other one. This Grandfather was very young when he died and his obituary was very short. There may be a more thorough one somewhere, but I haven't found it yet. I find it very interesting to have such diverse heritage, but this information can raise more questions than it anwers at times. I know of no one, still living, who can furnish me with more information, so many of my questions will go unanswered.

I suppose the point of all this is to hold on to the clippings and pictures and knowledge of those in your familly. Preserve the stories told also, if there are any. It's the stories and the memories that help our descendants ground themselves in their history.

History is important. Especially our personal history. If for no other reason than giving us a point of reference for our past, stories to pass down through the years, and most of all, roots.

 

Sometimes, it's hard to know what to write about in a daily Blog. It definitely takes discipline, but it also "teaches" discipline (I hope!).

Today I find myself thinking a lot about my "critters". I have an English Bulldog, named Hannah, and four cats - Samantha, Sophie, Simon and Shadrach. All but Samantha are Maine Coons. The largest is Shadrach, who weighs in at about 25 lbs. Samantha is a Siamese.

All of my pets are loving, well adjusted animals. Yep, it's hard to believe that I raised them. I did have some help, however, but we all know who takes care of the pets, just as we all know who really raises the children. (Huge grin). The fact that they are well-adjusted and really like people gives me comfort. Some days, I find myself wondering why they love me like they do. But that's just the way with pets, isn't it? They see us in all of our moods, when we're sick and when we're healthy. They see us at out worst and at our best.

They love us anyway.

They are so much like God.

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There never seems to be enough time to do all the things I wish to do in a day. Time to read all the books I have stacked in a neat little pile to read, time to take the pictures I want to take, time to paint the scenes in my mind that I want to paint, time to acquaint myself with that lovely sewing machine that was given to me as a Christmas gift three Christmas's ago, or, time to be alone and just reflect on my life and how I've arrived at this particular junction. There's never enough time to let those others in our lives know how much we appreciate them, need them, love them. When did we last say what's on our heart?

Things come into our lives unbidden and unsought that give us pause and need thought and prayer and careful consideration. Where do we find that time so necessary to ponder, to deliberate, to sort the wheat from the chaff? How do we sort out the necessary from the unnecessary?

Where do we find that point of reference, in new situations and circumstances, where we say to ourselves, "Yes, I've been here before and this is what I did", when there is no before, no point of reference, only an unknown 'after'?

I like structure, planning, organization and happy endings or, at least, expected ones. I think most of us do. I like "thinking" that I have some control over the events in my life. What a delusion that is when our experiences show how little control we actually have. I suppose I need to learn to "roll with the punches", to "take things as they come", to "be prepared for the worst, but expect the best."

I think I can see now, that I'm rambling a bit. I sense that, as I ramble, there is that "still, small voice" saying to me, "Here I am. Leave your concerns, your plans and your worries at My feet. I am more than sufficient. Be still, and Know."

I think I'll do just that.

http://katskountry.blogspot.com (Read my Daily Blog!)
 

Testing Blog.
 

How forgetful does one have to be to be considered forgetful with a capital A, as in Alzheimers?




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The world is ripe for the dawning of a new age. An age where we live, work and play together, not just because it makes sense, but because it means survival!

There are a lot of voices now, clamoring for attention to be heard. The one we should listen to is that "Still, Small Voice," which resides within each of us. Then, and only then, will we see the changes needed to save ourselves and our planet.

The only force that will save the world and change the world is the force of Love.

Kat
 

It's the Saturday before Christmas. My presents are bought and under the tree. My baking is all done, except for one or two things. I still have to clean my house.

This time next week, it will be all over until next year. I'm wondering, where is my Christmas spirit. Will it appear suddenly out of no where, or do I have to do something? I think I feel it best when someone opens a gift from me that they weren't expecting and it's something they really wanted. I also feel it when I hear "Mary Did You Know". I feel it when I watch the same old Christmas movies year after year.

The economy is bad. There are sooo many without jobs and without homes this year with no relief in sight. These things weigh on my spirit, yet I am so very grateful that I have food, a warm home, and most of all people who love me and people I love around me. That's it! The spirit's back!!

 

I'm feeling really, really tired today. I think I've cooked enough Thanksgiving Dinners. The chaos of having to do it all and get it all on the table before anything gets cold is simply too much for my feeble brain.

I also find that five hours of extended family and the chaos that ensues leaves me grouchy and not fun to be around.

I guess I'm becoming an old "fart"! I like my schedules and quiet time. I find it almost impossible to have "alone" time anymore and that impacts on my creativity, especially where writing is concerned. Perhaps I'm making excuses for myself.

Leftovers are the best thing about Thanksgiving. I wonder if you can purchase Thanksgiving left-overs and avoid the main attraction all together?

Alas, I dream and meander. It's because I'm bone tired. I'm also nursing a wounded finger which I sliced pretty well cutting that damn turkey!