I'll probably have at least a double post today. For one thing, I feel the Blog has been left wanting this month. Given that this is the shortest month of the year, that just doesn't sit well with me. For another thing, there have been breaking news stories of late that I have had feelings for, but have not yet written about.

          Andrew Koenig (Son of Walter "Mr. Checkov" Koenig) Takes Own Life

          Michael Blosig (18 Year Old Son of Marie Osmond) Found Dead--Suicide Declared

          Chilean Earthquake, at 8.8, Among Most Violent on Record; Tsunami's Feared

And, many other important news items for this month. I'm not certain which one(s) should be considered the most significant for the month, but there are several I would like to comment on. Why? Well, because I can, I guess.

I am working on creating a March Contest, and am not certain which topic to go with. One has a contest whereby creative writing would create the personal holiday of your choice. The other is a creative writing contest about "Reviewing: How and Why I Do It!" Perhaps both? I'd be interested in your comments.

Reviewing is an important part of my WDC life. Creating courses for members is another important part of my WDC life. I will admit to creating courses which do hold particular interest for me, but that is why I choose to share what I know of them with others. It's not an easy task, but it is a labor of love.

Writing of my own is an important focus of my WDC life, too. With all the other writing or writing related activities that consume my daily life, the priorities are forever changing. The workbook for the upcoming new book/course is on the top of my list. It will be the easiest to complete, and needs to be published relatively soon in order to be available for purchase before the course actually begins in November.

Website development continues, with the focus being on "down-sizing" the amount and locations of those websites that were created and "parked" for future use. That needs some time.

As you can tell, this small portion of the project list, which does not include a majority of my daily responsibilities online, is growing. Is that good?

Medically, things are at a quiet moment. Weekly labs, regular xrays are pretty much the current challenge. There is some talk of a possible move to Tennessee in the summer, but we will have to see about that. MedicAid is not a reality in Tennessee, and I cannot either qualify or afford personal medical care insurance. "TennCare" is broke, and have very few, and extremely strict signup requirements. As I am not pregnant, or have not been diagnosed with Cervical Cancer (one of the few, actually!) I will not have the availability of medical care there. That's a problem we are trying to deal with as my medical realities continue to progress.

So, it appears as if there is sufficient fodder for the writer in the upcoming days. It is still Winter, and SADD is definitely in play, as well. Depression is great, and the sleep is bountiful. I am tired most of the time now, and am using machine (BiPap) to assist with my troubled sleep. Sara is really providing tons of care and support, as is my homecare worker, the agency, and my medical team.

So, February has become the top of a large funnel. I will try to follow the drops through the funnel in March. I hope you will, too. One of the things of my daily life which I hope to be much more loyal to is my daily morning devotions and study. I have noticed the irregularily of it, and miss it. I will see about being regular for March. In the meantime, I remain,

In His Care,

Budroe
 

Who knew??

As I look back on the past few years, I can tell you that writing has been (and very definitely continues to be) a great therapy for me; none moreso than this little Blog. For those who question the wisdom of the vulnerability this Blog subjects the writer and its readers to, those who read and participate here do so voluntarily. There is a certain current which flows through the words found here that reminds me very much of a previous job I had. People may first come here on a whim, or comment because they are a writing friend. But, why do people return, time after time?

I want to think it is because they find something here that they might not find anywhere else. Comfort, or acceptance, or even just a tidbit or two of friendship have all been given as a reason for continued participation on this continuing journey. Life happens here. Sometimes it is mine. But, sometimes it is the life of a friend or fellow journeyman that makes us all stop for a moment, and just BE here. Time travels, it seems in a distinct circle. Some go away for a time, yet I see them come back. That really makes me happy. They contribute so very much to this group of travelers. New friends have been made, and old friends return. Sadly, some have moved away from this journey for personal or other reasons.

As amazing as it might seem, one of the reasons some of those friends have moved away is due to their own health. As you all know, we have lost dearly beloved members of late, many of whom were appreciative readers or contributors of this Blog. Their journeys complete, and their victories won, they have laid down the quill of ink and taken up the scroll of Gold. At least, that's the way I choose to look at things. I miss them. I also remember them, every time I dare put fingers to words. Their lives resonate here. That is a good thing.

Some friends, I find at different places on the internet, surprised to see them. Others remain distant and quiet, lurking yet letting me feel their presence when sometimes I need it so very much. I am attuned to my own needs, and feel a sense of loss every time I cannot make a day (or a month) blue. I want so badly to have something to say, yet it is in the hour of the "golden silence" sometimes that the most is said. Thankfully, it has not yet been an occasion of "the long night of the soul", but there have been a few times when I thought it might be for me.

So, having considered and pondered, muddled and puzzled about this, I have decided that those who answer the question have best the right to be correct. More than any other comment, it is the " therapeutic value" that wins the poll. That's just fine with me, and I am glad that some can find healing therapy here. It's not mine, but it surely is welcome any time, to any reader (or writer), for any reason. "Life happens here." That's about my favorite comment of all.

Yes, life happens here. In every conceivable color, timbre, texture and quality. I think I love that the very best of all. In the process, I do remain,

In His Care,

Budroe
 

Don't sweat it. It's just small stuff. I'm going to go for quality over quantity. I'm going to root for the Colts today. I am going to edit some today, too. But, with all due and required apologies to all whom I may offend, I'm gonna sleep as long as I want to today.

Next week will be a busy one for me, and Sara will be here by mid-week, if all (and the weather) goes according to plan. Her birthday is on February 9th. Budroesgirl is a member here, as I'm sure you all know by now. She keeps tabs on me, and keeps me honest.

Farmville has been a great distraction for me, but it is waning in my willingness to participate. I'm getting up into the levels now, and the more I advance, the less I can do without paying dollars to play. I know it's cheaper than therapy, but still I have a sense of basic unfairness about that. I'm not even absolutely sure why I feel that way. But, if it's free, it should stay free. Facebook is undergoing constant change now, and I hear there are notions afoot to begin charging a nominal fee ($ 3.99/mo USD) to use it. Is it worth it?

Yes, when I look at the charges for this very site--if you are looking for social internet interaction. No, if you are disabled, living on a fixed income. Pennies add up, as the previous few months have shown me. I've kind of gone crazy over the past few months. I could fill a blog just on that! I won't.

Basics only for a while now. I've spent my plunder. I have what I need, and have even been privileged to have some things that I want. I can't get "above my raisin'", after all. I need to remember that if I want to have things in the short term future that I want.

I'll be well if I keep my eye on the prize. (Financially, anyway.) It has been a good diversion to feel like something other than a patient for at least a little while. I will admit that my silence here is usually a good indication of my feelings about my medical stuff. Trimming back for good reasons makes me feel differently than "having" to. It's like looking at a prison cell, knowing that there will come a day when you are going back into that cell, and you very well may not come back out.

I know it sounds silly, but that's how it feels. It's kind of hard to enjoy the light of day from a prison exercise yard, ya know? So, some days not Blue, while meaningful, are not an indication of laxity or dallying. Sometimes, you just have to do the things that people do when they are alive.

Else, why bother?

Have a legendary week. I hope your team wins. I hope you write new words, every day this week. I will be here,

In His Care,

Budroe
 

Sometimes, I am convinced of the presence of ADD in my life. New words are coming more slowly now, and I can feel the transition from "Write at any cost!" to "Ya better write some new words, Bud!"

The truth is, I have so many writing tasks on my plate, I can't focus on any of them. I am trying to find one thing and move it forward. Test results slay me, I think. I get to wondering about where I am on the journey, what news will come from this round, and what my docs are going to do. It just gets bothersome when I have so much to do.

I can usually blank it out of my mind--at least for a while. But, it does interfere with things like peaceful slumber and productivity as a writer. I hate to admit it sometimes, but I really do live in the real world. That world requests things of me daily that simply interfere with my vocation. I know that every one deals with this, but what does the Minority Opinion in "Citizens United vs. FEC have to do with this blog entry?? Thus, the ADD. Diversion is one of the tools of our craft, and I have plenty of it!

Being patient as a writer is a horribly difficult task sometimes. I am involved in the Novel Writer's Workshop here on WDC, and am most pleased by this month's presentation. I look forward to it and am in the process of doing the first assignment. Hoping for new words, and not merely another distraction. Focus! Focus! Is anyone else having these Winter doldrums?

In His Care,

Budroe