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February 12, 2012
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Lani's Blog
My musings, my rambles and I welcome you.
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*Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* LIVE WITH INTENTION. *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1**Flower1**Flower1*




*Flower6* *Flower6* *Flower6* *Flower6* WALK TO THE EDGE. *Flower6* *Flower6* *Flower6* *Flower6*




*Flower2* *Flower2* *Flower2* CHOOSE WITH NO REGRETS.. *Flower2* *Flower2* *Flower2*



*Flower1**Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* DANCE IN THE LIGHT*Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1* *Flower1*




*Flower6* *Flower6* APPRECIATE MY FAMILY & FRIENDS. *Flower6* *Flower6*





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117.  OASISID #743480 
Posted: 1-6-2012 @ 11:24 am EST 




Advent according to the dictionary means a coming into place, view or being; arrival, an arrival or coming especially one which is awaited.
Advent is also the 40 days preceding Christmas including the 4 Sundays.
As you can see my dear readers, we are well past Christmas. I did receive a wonderful present; clarity. Knowledge is good but now I need the “want to” to act on it.

In writing to my fellow travelers, I realized I have only completed one challenge here at WDC. It was a 30 day blog challenge in 2008. I have attempted a couple of classes in the New Horizons Academy but the “sandstorms” of overtime, husband, and my own poor time management skills torpedoed those efforts. There was a poetry journey not unlike this trip to Bethlehem that I tried. Again, the same issues plus I had another bout with depression. I cannot let the sandstorms or the camels win again. Although “they say” the joy is in the journey the whole point of a trip is to reach a destination. It may be Valentines before I get there but onward and upward to Bethlehem.

1John 2:15-16
15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world

Since writing the above, I’ve been reading “Made to Crave, by Lysa Terkfurst. It is a book about learning to crave God instead of food; fixing the spiritual brokenness diets cannot. She makes the point Satan uses our cravings 3 ways to lure us away from God.
.
Ms. Terkfurst uses 1John2:15-16 as her reference and defines her terms as:

1. Cravings: trying to get our physical desires met outside of the will of God
2. Lust of the eyes: trying to get our material desires met outside the will of God
3. Boasting: trying to get our need for significance met outside of God.

Now, I do not believe Satan is under every rock or behind every tree, but I do believe in an enemy who hinders and harasses. If my walk is weak, my resolve to follow Jesus will be weak and I am easily lured away. I make my own choices.

With all that being said, am I trying to gain significance on the internet outside the will of God? I told you I was beginning to deal with narcissism. Is it better to pull the plug and fail another challenge or continue? Stopping the journey feels like breaking a promise to my fellow travelers and that can’t be good. So I will continue the Advent journey privately. This way I can keep my promise, finish the challenge and not drag another camel along.

If you are interested in continuing with me, send an e-mail and I will give you the passkey.




Lani
 

116.  ClarityID #743055 
Posted: 1-2-2012 @ 12:27 am EST 




"Sorry Jesus, I didn’t make it to Bethlehem for your birthday. These sand storms have been awful and this camel you sent has been useless."

"There are no sand storms and I didn’t send a camel."


"Well there’s no storm now but every time I get on the road one seems to surround me and what do you mean You didn’t send the camel. It’s carrying my stuff."

My objections were met with silence.

"Okay Lord, watch what happens when I get on the road."

I grabbed the reins of the camel to try and lead him on to the road. As I walked, a small cloud of sand started to rise and swirl around me. The sand irritated the camel and he began to snort loudly and stomp his giant feet. After struggling for a few miles, I grew weary and stopped.

"Lord, did You see that storm? And what am I going to do with this camel?"

"There are no storms and I didn’t send the camel."

*Sigh*" Okay, Lord I need a little hint. What’s going on here?"

"Leave the camel and go back on to the road.".

"What about my stuff?"

This time my question was met with a stony silence so I slowly made my way back onto the road that led to Bethlehem. I started walking and I saw the familiar swirls start to race up my legs.

"See Lord it’s starting again."

"Look, Child at your feet."

As I walked, dirt and dust from the road kicked up and mixed with sand forming the swirls that became the storms that surrounded me. Dumbfounded to see that I was creating my own storm, I looked closer at the sand. It was composed of work and worry, holiday concerns, family issues and finances. The cares of this world were blocking my vision and keeping me immobilized. Oh crap.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been the “big sister,” again. I want to do everything myself. I haven’t been “casting my cares upon You.” Pride, I can’t seem to get around it or beyond it. I’m so sorry Lord."

"Why don’t you see what is packed on that camel."

"If You didn’t send it, does that mean the enemy sent it?"

"Not this time."

So with some trepidation, I moved toward to the camel. I looked into the first bag and it was filled with Pride. Surprised but not really shocked, I moved onto the next bag. It was filled with Vanity. A smaller bag turned out to be Narcissism. This made me uncomfortable as God and I are just starting to deal with this issue. The last bag was tiny and hidden under the others. I opened it and my heart stopped. It was filled with something so painful that I barely recognized to myself as it's truth. I felt tears welling as shame burned my heart and my eyes. And how I wished that Jesus wasn’t looking over my shoulder just now.

"Child, I cannot forgive what you do not acknowledge. Look at it squarely and let it go. You do not have to drag your sins along with you. That’s why I went to the cross. You are a new creation. You are a butterfly. Dry your wings and fly."




Lani
 

115.  LUKE 1:34-35ID #741958 
Posted: 12-17-2011 @ 11:54 am EST 
Edited: 12-17-2011 @ 12:15 pm EST 

Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God."




Isaiah 7:14
Luke 1:34-35


In this particular translation, I am taken by the use of the word "thing. It is not in reference to an act, but of a person. So rare and unheard of in the day of the message, there was just not a useable word that would have helped Mary understand better that the word was referring to her son to be born. Pure, sinless

Bud goes on to state that is the Jesus he seeks.

I am not so taken with that translation. Most say “holy One,” and I think that is more appropriate. Jesus came to be with us as one of us. By calling Him “thing”, it seems wrong and demeanming, making Him less than human. Jesus pure, sinless, who is fully Man and fully God, is who I seek.

Bud also asks how we think Mary took the news. I can hardly imagine. Being a teenager is a fairly new phenomenon roughly the 1950’s. But being a woman has not changed over the centuries that much. Part of Mary must’ve shattered, knowing that her dreams of a wedding, a normal life with Joseph would not be possible. Another part of her must’ve rejoiced at the thought that the long awaited Messiah was coming and she was going to play a small part in God’s plan.

Now Bud asks about getting a message from God. A message that needed clarification or acceptance. Yeah, I have story. I think most Christians do especially when they are new. I cannot give you reader too many details as people involved are still around and there is no reason to open what can only hurt others.

I asked God several times about something from my past. He seemed silent on the subject so I let it go. Then I causally mentioned it again in prayer months later and He gave me an answer. I was rocked to my core by what I God was telling me. I cried, I argued, I complained but in my spirit I knew the truth. So I did some research, confirmed the facts and talked to the people involved.

After the emotion died down and God had guided us all to a resolution, I went back to Him and asked, “Why now? Why did you bring all of that up when everything had been fine?”

“Because you asked.”

That was all the answer I would get for weeks when I prayed and listened.

Because you asked.”

One day I was angry and frustrated about something. I don’t know about what, just stuff. And I began talking out loud, yelling at God unafraid as only a new Christian can do.

“And another thing, Lord, You keep saying ‘because you asked’. Well I’ve asked lots of time before this, so why now? Why was it so all fire important that You tear up my life right now?”

Why I though the Lord of Heaven and Earth owed me an explanation, I cannot tell you. Just young and dumb I guess. As I paused for breath, I noticed a stirring in my spirit. I could “feel” God close by. I sensed a feeling of love uplifting me.

“Because this time, you really wanted to know the answers.”

Again, I was rocked to my core. And awed. With a Father’s love, God had given me what I needed to know as I could handle it. I have to admit like a child I was angry at that for a bit. Whether it be at Him or myself, it’s hard to say.

I am praying for clarity but like St. Augustine who prayed for chastity I wonder if I am secretly adding, “not yet.”




Lani

 

114.  LUKE 1:32ID #741953 
Posted: 12-17-2011 @ 9:54 am EST 
Edited: 12-17-2011 @ 9:56 am EST 

"He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God shall give unto Him the throne of His Father David."

Isaiah 7:14; 9:6-7
Luke 1:32



I love this verse. It reminds me of Jesus’ Majesty. I have spent most of my adult life in Evangelical Christian churches until recently and I love them. I love the warmth and acceptance I found. I love the healing with God I found. However as I matured as a person and a Christian, I wondered at their view of Christ. He seemed to be a best buddy, Santa, martyr and dictator all in one. Jim and Tammy Faye Baker from the ‘90’s had Jesus on speed dial as their personal banker and shaman. Majesty. Kingship. Throne of David. It is good to be reminded that Jesus was before us and will be after us.


It is also good to remember as Bud puts it Jesus had a bellybutton. He wanted to be here with us. He wanted to understand us so He could love us better. This thought blows me away. Why then do I push Him away? Why is it so easy to be busy with His stuff but not Him? Like Bud, I miss Jesus. I miss the close relationship I had a few years ago. I’ve asked for clarity but will I like what I see? Is that why I am dragging my feet on the way to Bethlehem?




Lani
 

113.  Luke 1:31ID #741396 
Posted: 12-9-2011 @ 11:21 am EST 
Edited: 12-9-2011 @ 11:33 am EST 


And, behold! Thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shall call his name Jesus.'"

Isaiah 7:14
Luke 1:31

Bud talks about these verses in his entry as good news/bad news situation.

“Guess what Mary! You are favored by God and the Messiah is coming and guess who is going to carry him? That’s right! You, a virgin, young woman will have to explain to her parents and fiancé that she is pregnant. And what about the village? Oh yes it’s going to be a good time.”

Okay that was a little sarcastic but true. Sometimes it’s better to smile to keep from crying.

Bud also asks about the good news/bad news situations in our own lives. That’s very easy. My hubby and I have played this scene many times.

Hubby: “Hi Honey
I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?”
Me: “Just tell me.”
Hubby: “Pick”
Me: sigh “The bad news”
Hubby: “I’m going on the road for 3 months.”
Me: “Again?! What’s the good news?”
Hubby: “ I still have a job and with overtime and bonuses, we can pay for the new roof.”
Me:"#%##$!"


When dear hubby was in the military and then the reserves, this scene had more anxiety. Now with his jobs since, it’s been even more travel. I’m glad he has a job in this rocky economy. It’s just hard to go it alone. Companionship is one of the reasons I got married. Hubby and I joke of the 15yrs we’ve been married only half of them have been in the same zip code.


Of course this could be God’s way of asking me lean on Him. Good news. I just wish I had seen that sooner.



Lani
 

112.  LUKE 1:29-30ID #741382 
Posted: 12-9-2011 @ 8:12 am EST 

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"And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said unto her, 'Fear not, Mary; for thou hast found favour with God.'"


Luke 1:29-30 (KJV)

“Troubled” doesn’t seem like the right word here. Not that I am arguing with Dr. Luke or the KJ translators but it seems mild. I checked other translations and got “greatly troubled,” by NIV, and “perplexed,” by the NASB, “confused and disturbed,” by NLT. The angel tells her not to be afraid but she’s not. She’s troubled, perplexed confused disturbed but not afraid. This tells me she is young. Maybe she doesn’t realize she should be afraid. People believed you could die just looking at the Angel of the Lord.

Or maybe she does realize who she is talking to and she is still not afraid. Maybe she has a relationship with God. Even though God wasn’t speaking through His prophets, I can’t believe people didn’t seek and find Him.

How far to Bethlehem? Pretty far for me because I get started and then “O look a cute cactus” and then “What a pretty rock over there,” and then before you know it, I’ve wandered away again. This time it seems like a longer and harder journey back to the right road.

See ya when I get there.


Lani
 

111.  Luke 1:28ID #741093 
Posted: 12-5-2011 @ 12:09 am EST 





And the angel came in unto her, and said 'Hail! Thou that art highly favored, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women."

Luke 1:28 (KJV)


I wonder what Mary was feeling, doing just moments before the angel showed up in her home. Was she praying, had she fought with her mom, or maybe her little brothers and sisters were getting on her nerves? Maybe Mary was dreaming over her sewing, thinking about a certain young man named Joseph. After all she was planning a wedding.

“Hail!” just like that. It used to be a greeting like hello or hey. Hard to imagine but angel used an ordinary word. We turned it into part of a prayer.
What would I do if an angel said to “Hey!” to me? I hope I have the spiritual eyes to recognize him. Also I would like to discern what kind of angel it is. We all know that Lucifer can masquerade as an angel of light. When it’s all said and done, I would be disbelieving, flattered, humbled, and awed.

And yet all I have to read really read and feel and ponder these words:

And God so love the world that He sent His one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 and I can find those same feelings.

No angel required


Lani
 

110.  LUKE 1: 26-27ID #741033 
Posted: 12-4-2011 @ 3:47 am EST 





26 In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, 27 to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary.

The Advent Adventure for 2011 is entitled “How Far to Bethlehem?” It is being approached a spiritual journey. And as in any journey, preparation is the key. What do I need for an actual trip to the Holy Lands? I need a passport, luggage, money. I need to check to see if I need to update my immunizations. I need to make arrangements for my house, my job, my dog. And those are the preps just the ones off the top of my head. I’m sure there are a thousand and one other details that need to be woven into the itinerary so that the journey is safe and successful.


What do I need to prepare for a successful spiritual journey? I need a planned study hence the Advent Adventure. I don’t do well without some kind of structure and accountability. A quiet and uncluttered space makes it easier to focus on the spiritual rather than the “I gotta get it done now.” A block of time set aside just for the study is a must. Finally, I need the ‘WANT TO’. Even if I have everything else, if I don’t have the ‘WANT To’ to be doing the journey, it makes for a miserable and unsuccessful trip.


Preparation and patience: I think those might be God’s middle names. He waited 400 years to speak from Malachi to Matthew and/or Luke. The world turned into the Roman Empire during those 400 years. An empire whether they knew or not would assist God in fulfilling prophecy. He waited for a “good man” like Joseph to care for His Son. He waited for a girl like Mary to be the Mom. All conditions were perfect when the Angel made his amazing announcement.


Speaking of patience, God seems to like to do the Texas two-step with us in our spiritual walk. You know one step forward two steps back. It doesn’t seem like you can get very far do a walk like that but sometimes a step or two is necessary and strengthening. Sometimes a step back will take you in a different direction, get your attention or just get you to regroup.


“In the sixth month…”


To answer Bud’s question, I always thought it meant Elizabeth’s 6th month of pregnancy. I always took an earthy and more mundane view of that timeline. I figured that God wanted Jesus and John (his cousin) to be close in age. As they grew up, the cousins would see each other at least yearly for the feast days. They could play together, talk things over and be boys who both had a powerful call on their lives. When Jesus was twelve and lost for three days, he was found in the temple among the teachers. I always wondered what John was doing. Surely Jesus stayed with his aunt and uncle until his parents came for him. Well maybe thirteen year old boys don’t talk to twelve year old boys especially ones geeky enough to be talking with teachers.
But all of this shows God’s preparation and planning.

I have been wondering recently where is that sweet young Christian woman that I used to be. She would do almost anything God asked her to do. I’d like to think that I am older and wiser but that’s not true. I am more cautious, more anxious less trusting than I used to be. I think one of the reasons for this is that I am less prepared for the spiritual life than ever. I would never leave on trip without luggage. Why am I not carrying my spiritual tools? Because the spiritual life takes time, energy and attention. These things have been in short supply in recent years so my tool belt is empty.

So please saddle up and join me to journey to Bethlehem


Lani
 

109.  Matthew 1 21-23ID #740976 
Posted: 12-3-2011 @ 7:48 am EST 




Now all of this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken of the Lord by the Prophet, saying, Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us."



I am going to be doing the Annual Advent Adventure so the blog is about to get spiritual and personal. I need this right now as a have wandered around, walked close to but not on the path God has laid out for me. Or at least the path I think He has chosen for me. I need some clarity and I hope by heading to Bethlehem, I will find it.

The first verse to contemplate is from Matthew 1 21:23.

These verses don’t really mean a whole lot to me. And before you gasp in surprise and call me callous, I was raised Catholic. Every Christmas, these verses were pounded into us as well as anytime were to be reminded that we humans were born of sin and Jesus was not. And I do not mean this in an envious or bitter way, but as “You are scum and God had to dirty His hands to save you.” I see now those sermons and lessons were not to be taken in such a way but as a child that’s how I heard them.

However, when Bud mentioned that there was an interesting story connected to the promise, I went looking for it. It’s in Isaiah Chapter 7.

King Ahaz and his people of Judah were frightened because the king of Israel and the king and the Aram were getting ready for war. God tells Ahaz not to be afraid but to ask for a sign. Dumbfounded, Ahaz refuses.
I understand Ahaz. God wants to talk to me? To test Him? This could be very good or very bad. What do I do?


Then Isaiah said, “Hear now, you house of David! Is it not enough to try the patience of humans? Will you try the patience of my God also? Therefore the Lord himself will give you[c] a sign: The virgin[d] will conceive and give birth to a son, and[e] will call him Immanuel.[f] 15 He will be eating curds and honey when he knows enough to reject the wrong and choose the right, 16 for before the boy knows enough to reject the wrong and choose the right, the land of the two kings you dread will be laid waste. 17 The LORD will bring on you and on your people and on the house of your father a time unlike any since Ephraim broke away from Judah—he will bring the king of Assyria.”




So God chose for the king and Judah. He makes a promise that cannot help Ahaz even if it were to fulfilled right that very minute. God basically says “Since you didn’t ask, I’ll give you want you need instead of what you want.”

Jesus was coming. God had promised Adam and Eve at the fall. The promise would have been given of the birth of Christ. It’s just so typical so human that what we need has to be wrestled out of us.

I am so there. I am going to wrestle with myself and find out what I need and earnestly ask for it from God. For Christmas this year, I want clarity, the will to accept what I see and the WANT TO to do it.





Lani
 

108.  Late One nightID #737386 
Posted: 10-19-2011 @ 2:53 pm EDT 
Edited: 12-9-2011 @ 10:59 pm EST 

She went to bed after him. A million things on her mind, she found she couldn’t focus on the bodice ripper she had picked up at the supermarket. An exhausted sleep finally overtook her.

Surprised to be waking as she felt she had never been asleep, a warm touch caressed her shoulder. The caress stopped when she shifted a little and then continued down her spine sensuously. When it reached her buttocks, two hands began kneading. She stifled a groan.

“What the f%$&?” she murmured.

“No, that is what I want to do to you,” he said at his most persuasive.

“I was sleeping dammit,”

“I thought you wanted me to be more spontaneous? You know, like those books you read.”

“Not in the middle of the night!”

Fuming, she turned away stealing the covers. He laid there confused at what just happened. But both of them were thinking the same thing: romance novels lie.


Lani
 



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