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 Content Rating Notice: Recommended for Readers 18 Years and Older Only |
| >> Book >> Personal >> ID #1840687 |   |
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  My Sailing ship drifts out to sea Where all my worlds combine as me The writer with imaginative thoughts The Check-Out Chick packing goods newly brought The inner child who wants to play The worn out adult trying to get through the day The Sister, Daughter, Auntie and Friend The Dogs’ Master and Cats’ Servant often sent round the bend The Nature Goddess talented in Mystical Arts The dumpy brunette who loves shortbread tarts The Highlander spirit which fights for what’s right The shy recluse who loves to hide in the night All these fragments together form me But are only seen together here on my ship of the sea  |
| 23. Never Ends | ID #747343 |
| Posted: 2-18-2012 @ 3:15 pm EST | |
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 Never Ends Friday, February 17, 2012. I thought this week that I might be able to pay off the last debt or finally get back tyres for the car. Now this hope is drifting further away as another problem crops up needing immediate attention. The car now has new brake pads and had the discs machined clearing out the savings again. I have to come up with another one hundred and twenty dollars to get a boot thing fixed before I can save up for the tyres. Then I need a major service, the windscreen repaired and after all this the registration will be due. There goes another five hundred plus dollars for registration just so I can keep driving on the road. Somewhere in the middle of all of this I need to pay off the final debt, find money for ongoing expenses and fix my home before winter so I do not freeze. I will need to start buying gift points in small amounts every week to save up for my paid membership due in May. Looking on the positive side of things, at least I am working and there is money coming in. I will have to accept every extra shift on offer just to clear my feet. It is going to be tight on the budget but I have been in more sticky spots than this. The disappointing thing is that it will cut down my writing and online time as work will take priority. Sometimes I think it would be wonderful to have a knight in shining armour to help keep the balance in my world but most would say I am getting to old to believe in fairy tales. It just boils down to determination, hard work and making do. No extras or luxuries for us for a while. It just never ends...    |
| 22. Another Day | ID #747342 |
| Posted: 2-18-2012 @ 3:12 pm EST | |
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Another Day Thursday, February 16, 2012. Blackstar has taken up residence on my desk and is trying to lie with her head on my arm making typing difficult. She is sooky today. I guess that is because her morning cuddle session has been interrupted twice by early phone calls. One to let me know that the mushroom outdoor set I order for my nieces is finally in the store and one from my friend who has been unwell the past couple of weeks. She has strained a muscle on the seventh rib, has another four weeks at least of pain and being short of breath. She still has to go to work and as she catches public transport and then walks through the city to the office, it is a battle. Valentine’s Day came and went, without anything interesting to report on the home front. Just another day where I worked in the evening from eight until midnight, although it was interesting between ten and eleven as I watched many men dashing in for flowers, chocolates and a card. Working the late shift allowed me to stay indoors and avoid all the couples during the day, so it wasn’t too bad and tolerable this year. Blackstar is now curled up in a ball and dozing on my desk. I will have to move soon and start getting ready for work which will disturb her again. There is nothing I can do about it today but as I will be home in the early evening I will be able to make it up to her. Uniforms to be ironed, lunch to be made and then the task of making myself presentable for work is the list ahead for me. It is a short three hour shift today and I heard a rumour that the rosters were being changed again this week, so I may have another new roster today. I am starting to give up on the idea of having any sort of routine in my week. It would be nice to have just one day to myself but who gets those in this day and age. It’s just another day... |
| 21. A Beautiful Day | ID #747019 |
| Posted: 2-13-2012 @ 8:56 pm EST | |
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A Beautiful Day Monday, February 13, 2012. Eight in the morning and I am in the car on the road that winds through the hills, heading towards the freeway which will take me to see Matilda and Audrey. I have missed spending time with the girls and have decided that today I need to do something for me. All I have really done this month and last is work and housework. Yes I need the money but I also need to take time to do the important things. Nine o’clock and I am going over the bridge that takes me to the island where my girls live. The tide is out and gentle sunshine bathes the seashore. I am nearly at their house and I am looking forward to seeing them. I am passing the Chocolate Factory which means I am getting closer. I turn off the main road and have only one more turn to make into their street. Pulling up at the house I can see the blinds are already open and I wait for the girls to burst out the front door, but they haven’t. I climb out of the car and gather up all the treats I have brought. Walking to the front of the house I can hear the girls in the backyard. I go to the side gate and open it quietly; I walk down the side of the house I can hear them getting louder. I sneak around the back of the house and listen to them deep in their game on the trampoline. They notice me and the focus changes instantly. “Aunty Jen, watch me...” They battle for my attention as they begin showing me their new tricks and how high they can now jump. My day with the girls has begun. My sister stops her cleaning up of the backyard and suggests coffee. Matilda is showing me her new front flip on the trampoline while Audrey is showing me how she can jump and then land in a sitting position. I follow my sister into the house still watching the girls and they cannot get off the trampoline quick enough to see what I have in all the bags I am carrying. They burst in through the back door as I am putting the bags on the kitchen counter and can’t wait to show me their bedroom. Matilda and Audrey have their big girl beds now, not much can fit into their room and the Barbie house and toys are split between the living area and my sister’s study as well as their bedroom. I hand Matilda her birthday present, she opens the card first and my sister helps her to read what is written in it. Matilda carefully opens her present as the princess paper she wants to keep for cut and paste later. Matilda is delighted with her new pencils, drawing and writing books. As I sit at the bench for coffee, Matilda is already drawing and sharing her present with Audrey who has joined in. My sister is catching me up on the news, I tell her about my losing Azreale and she tells me that the girls Tinkerbell Rabbit also passed away. In between our exchanges the girls are excitedly sharing their drawings with me. Matilda has drawn one of the characters from the Tangled movie they have and I can actually tell which character she has drawn. Matilda’s drawing and writing is getting better and she no longer has to explain all of her pictures. Audrey’s artwork is still a mystery but as she loves to tell me things I do not have to guess. We sit down to have some fruit for morning tea, the girls run back and forth to the table between drawing and playing and eating. I now know that my younger sister is really annoyed with baby sister. It does not take long to find out what is causing the anger. My baby sister is not settled, has had an argument with her best friend and is now turning her attention to a male who lives in another state. Younger sister’s anger is not due to the attention being given but the fact that baby sister is not serious about him and this bloke is really decent and kind. I can see there will be some tension in the family over this as mum doesn’t see baby sister’s behaviour as a problem, but unfortunately it is. I will have to make a decision on whether I step into the middle of this one or not. Baby sister does need sorting out but doesn’t listen, and one day this will hit her hard. After our morning tea, we head back out into the garden so younger sister can finish cleaning up the yard while I entertain the girls. They are back on the trampoline and I am watching them as they are directing my attention to the new game. My younger sister is showing me the new plans for the girls’ cubby house and secret fairy garden, I have an outdoor set for the space which I have bought for them and just need to pick up. It will be perfect. The girls and I are now sitting on the deck and learning our left from our right. They are still struggling to pick up which is which but it is fun and we are laughing. Matilda brings out her pencils and note books so we can all draw. We begin writing a little story using simple words describing our day of fun. My nieces are telling me about swimming classes and what they are doing at kindergarten. Before we know it the time has come for lunch. The girls choose a DVD to watch while they have their lunch. Younger sister and I sit down and chat while the girls are absorbed by the movie they are watching. The girls’ lives are getting much busier as is mine. It is harder to spend time together and we are all missing those Mondays together we had last year. Matilda and Audrey get so excited when they know I am coming to see them. My sister and I decide that we will work out one day a month where I can spend time with the girls. Even today work rang but I turned down the shift. Today was my day with the girls. After lunch it is time for the girls to go to swimming and I head home. Matilda and Audrey are happy to know that Aunty Jen will come and see them again soon. Next time Aunty Jen will bring the special surprise for their fairy garden and we will have a picnic and play games. I drive home feeling much better after spending time with Matilda and Audrey; it was just what I needed to lift my spirits. It was a beautiful day... |
| 20. Cookie_Writer | ID #746886 |
| Posted: 2-12-2012 @ 7:42 am EST | |
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Cookie~Writer Sunday, February 12, 2012. Originally I was cookie_writer, and then this became the username for my authorized secondary account which was set up for c~notes shops to raise funds for the community. I have known for some time that I do not have the time or finances to keep the cookie_writer port going and would have to make a decision on what to do. I know I could have left it sitting as an unpaid account but just finding the time to keep it an active port made my decision for me. Today I closed the cookie_writer account and moved the c~notes shops over to my primary account. I know it is the right decision and when finances improve I can use the gift points which would have kept the account going to help other members of WDC who are hitting hard times. The last task is to top up the gift points I used to transfer the items over to my port and then send the raised gift points to a group. This I will do next week on pay day. At least I can keep the fundraising going and will have time to spend on one port, which will be much easier to manage. Work was busy last night but I finally remembered to by a florescent tube for the kitchen. I have been meaning to purchase one for weeks and only remember it when I try and cook in the dark. I have a meals area which has a small light but it doesn’t quite let me see what I am doing properly. It is wonderful to have light in the kitchen again and makes a real difference. Yes I know, I should have done it straight away but I still had light to work with. Time to get ready for work... |
| 19. Blackstar...Chicken Thief...Guilty As Charged | ID #746791 |
| Posted: 2-10-2012 @ 6:00 pm EST Edited: 2-10-2012 @ 6:03 pm EST | |
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Blackstar...Chicken Thief...Guilty As Charged Friday, February 10, 2012. My naughty black cat called Blackstar is a chicken thief and guilty as charged. She has committed the most serious offence by being found upon the kitchen bench and helping herself to my snack. I had bought a hot chicken and made myself a sandwich after returning from work with the intention of having a second sandwich. As I innocently sat at my desk and caught up on the news with my sandwich and coffee, I was unaware of the crime being committed in the kitchen. I did hear a rustling of a plastic bag but did not take much notice. I finished my sandwich and returned to the kitchen as I thought I would have another, which would save me cooking dinner, before sharing the rest of the chicken between Blackstar, Chloe and Shrekkirri. I entered the kitchen to find Blackstar sitting on the bench with her head and front paws in the plastic bag containing my hot chicken. When I yelled at her, she removed her head from the bag and meowed, before continuing to consume my snack. I chased her off the kitchen bench, much to her disgust, before assessing the damage. So much for my snack as the poor chicken had been shredded by Blackstar’s claws. I grumbled as I split the chicken into the dogs’ bowls and was tempted not to give Blackstar her share, but I never use food as punishment so she got some chicken as well. The pets all have a full tummy and I am still hungry. Blackstar knows she is not allowed on the kitchen bench but I guess the smell of cooked chicken was too much temptation for her to resist. I should have put it straight in the fridge and have to accept some of the blame, although I am still cross with her. The dogs are curled up under my desk and are quite content after their feast. Blackstar has curled up somewhere out of my sight as she knows I am cross with her. At least she is eating again and appears to be more settled, accepting Azreale has gone. It has been a tough couple of weeks and I was starting to get worried about Blackstar. I don’t know if I can be bothered cooking dinner for myself now, but I will have to have something to eat. I guess I will just have to cook something and I am thinking about a vegetable slice with bacon and cheese. At least the pets will not be interested in it as it has too many vegetables for their liking. It is getting rather late and I may be better off having scrambled eggs on toast or dippy eggs and soldiers, although I really feel like a cooked meal with veggies. I guess I just better get into the kitchen and make something before it is too late to eat. Anyone for coffee, toast and jam? The joys and trials of pet ownership... |
| 18. Matilda's Five | ID #746688 |
| Posted: 2-9-2012 @ 6:14 am EST | |
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Matilda’s Five Thursday, February 9, 2012. The weather here is weird this evening. I can see a clear sky and sunset out of the back window but it is pouring down outside with thunder rumbling in the distance and the occasional low flash of lightening. It is as if the sky is split in two with one half being the weather we are having while the other is the weather we were meant to have. I wonder how it can be possible to be under dark grey skies during a slight storm and still see a brilliant clear sky sunset which doesn’t seem so far away. The side window shows thick grey clouds while the back window shows clear skies and both windows are in the same room. I just do not get it. I can hardly believe Matilda is turning five today, it feels as though she has grown up too fast. The years have flown by and before I know it she will be a school girl. I was not able to go to see her today but hopefully I will be able to make the journey to her house next week. I have a small pressie for her and as she loves to draw and becoming a big girl, I am sure she will like it. I bought a drawing book, a couple of notebooks, a pencil case, new colouring pencils, big kid crayons which are more like textars and some special fairy stickers. Matilda has already begun writing and can write her name and some small words. I thought that the notebooks would be good to encourage her to write. Yes I know, but it would be nice to have another writer in the family. Audrey is a good story teller and some of the tales she comes up with are interesting, like the day the shark bit her finger and that’s why it was sore. The only thing was that by the end of the tale I was not sure if the shark or the crocodile had actually caused her finger to be sore. Then there was the game where the owls in the trees outside the bedroom window would hoot when the witches were coming and you had to hide under the blankets until the owls hooted again to say they were gone. We played this game for about an hour and the whole time I wondered how she had come up with this. My two nieces are both very different in personality and likes. One is more independent, active and alert than the other and tends to get less cranky and tired. Both girls have wonderful imaginations and enjoy playing together. When I get the chance to spend time with the girls I make a point of doing things they both like and spending time with each one individually, even if it is just listening to what they have to say. I confess I do miss spending one day a week with them like I did for the last six months of last year, but I am working now so it is not as easy to make the journey to their home. I will make time to see them once a month from this month on as January was just a mass of working all the time. I had hoped to write this evening but I still have some chores to finish off before I am back to work tomorrow. I need to iron my uniforms and put the dry washing away, clean the kitchen and make myself something to eat. The pets are all fed and curled up for the night and so there is just me to organize. I did pop online for a short spell today and read my emails and newsletters. Hopefully Saturday will allow me more time to spend online, but next week I will have a better roster to work with as I am back to late shifts. The early hours of the morning is when I write best and my connection is strongest, this new roster will allow me to spend the early hours writing and online. I am really pleased with how it has worked out and hope it will stay this way as there is plenty of opportunity to pick up extra shifts if they are in the afternoon without disturbing my time to write and do other things. Time to get the last of the chores done before bed as I am still on early shifts this week... |
| 17. Clear Head with Fresh Air | ID #746326 |
| Posted: 2-3-2012 @ 7:02 pm EST | |
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Clear Head with Fresh Air Saturday, February 4, 2012. I was up before sunrise this morning, even though it was the early hours before I managed to get to bed, and I confess I am still feeling a little on the foggy side when it comes to my mind. Breakfast seemed the most logical way to begin my day, a cup of tea and a cooked morning meal set my creative brain in motion. Before I knew it I was thinking about an entry I read in Connie’s Corner blog. She was talking about a Reiki principle she had learned about, something to do with a morning practice where a kind of prayer or chant is a great way to start the day. It deals with letting go of worry and anger while striving to work honestly and being kind to all creatures. At least this is what I remembered about it. I began to really think about this concept and what I would wish just for today. Then I started to scribble down some thoughts, which flowed in the form of a simple poem, and it is called “Just for Today.”
It is in its first draft and although I am quite happy with it just now, as always I am sure there is room for improvement. I have finally got around to making potato salad and coleslaw, so at lunchtime I will have hot chicken with salad since I shall be working through dinner time. I will take a sandwich to have at my break as it will be a long time between meals if I don’t. As I am working five hours this evening I do get a tea break, so it will be a small snack sandwich to keep me going until I get home, which will be around midnight. Five hours until I need to get ready and go to work. The chores are done and I think some time in the garden and the fresh air will help to clear my head. I shall take the dogs out with me. It is nice outside today, and being outdoors will be good for us all. I may relax with some writing or reading after lunch, letting my meal settle before I get ready for work. A hot day is expected and being out in the cool of the morning is the best idea... |
| 16. Weird Restless Days | ID #746276 |
| Posted: 2-3-2012 @ 1:57 pm EST | |
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Weird Restless Days Friday, February 3, 2012. I have had two days off work and have been feeling restless one minute, inspired the next, productive for a moment and lost a few seconds later. It has been a weird couple of days. I have had moments of not wanting to do anything and times when I can’t find a place to get away from the house fast enough. I have written a short burst in chapter four of Flight of the Raven, but have still not finished the chapter. The housework was done in waves over the two days but at least I got it finished, eventually. I have had random bites to eat here and there, but never got around to cooking a meal even though I wandered the supermarket to buy the ingredients. I never managed to catch up with a friend and have a meal but I did drop by my mother’s for coffee. It is well past my bedtime and I am still trying to decide if I am tired enough to go to bed and sleep. I was online for a few hours late yesterday evening into the early hours of this morning. I did a couple of reviews, answered some emails, dropped in on the Noticing Newbie’s forum and posted my latest journal blog entry. I had intended to go for a walk by myself and just have some me time, but I never actually got around to it. I do not know what the answer is to sorting me out but I guess having some quality me time may help. It is just really hard at the moment to have any peace as every time I try to do something one of my pets starts demanding attention, mainly Blackstar. Maybe I am just having a weird time which will pass or the dawning full moon cycle is playing merry havoc with us all... |
| 15. Weather Warning Cancelled | ID #746198 |
| Posted: 2-2-2012 @ 8:41 am EST | |
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Weather Warning Cancelled Tuesday, January 31, 2012. We’re back to overcast conditions between bouts of extreme heat and the weather seems undecided on what it will do. The weather warning issued yesterday for severe storms was cancelled, although I have to wonder, as we had a heavy down pour which turned the streets into quick flowing rivers for an hour at least before the sun came out full strength. Today I wonder if another down pour like yesterday’s is coming. It certainly has been a mixed bag of weather this month. It is housework day, but the washing cannot be done as it will not dry in this weather, and the pets are all inside making cleaning difficult. I find the task is not easy with the three of them under foot. The dogs have a bad habit of lying in doorways which makes it impossible to walk around unhindered, and when I have my hands full it is difficult to see them. I admit being tired doesn’t help either, sleep hasn’t come easily the past week and with working so much I am feeling a bit irritable. I will try and get some relaxation in today, probably this evening. There is too much for me to do today to have any real downtime. At least if I manage to get things done there will only be the washing to do after work tomorrow and I have a few days off before going back to work again. The first month of the year is almost over and it has been hectic. I have worked most days this month, the savings account is empty again after Azreale’s vet bill and I haven’t reached all of my goals as I still have to finish Flight of the Raven. I was on track until we lost Azreale, which hit hard and will impact life at home for a while. We’re all still expecting Azreale to spring out and voice her opinion on whatever has stirred her attention. Blackstar is starting to settle down a bit but still struggling and I am watching her carefully. I have just had to turn down an extra shift from work as I am out of petrol and money. The wages will be in tomorrow morning and I can fill up the tank but as there are no savings left I can’t do anything about it today. It is hard as I really need the extra shifts and do not want to turn shifts down as it may reduce the amount of opportunities for more in the future. No point dwelling upon it as there is nothing I can do. A lesson learned not to let the petrol run down in the future, hopefully I will not end up penalized for this. I need to plan better. Brunch time and I think dippy eggs and soldiers is a good idea, translation soft boiled eggs and toast cut into fingers to dip in the yolk. It is something I enjoyed as a child and has never left me, one of those cheer up meals that are quick and simple. The first month of the year has had its ups and downs, just as life has its seasons and there is nothing anyone can do about it. The best you can do is accept what you cannot change and work on changing the things you can. Here’s to the dawning of February, hoping it will be better than January and the year will improve with age... |
| 14. Sleepless Night | ID #745824 |
| Posted: 1-28-2012 @ 8:45 pm EST | |
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Sleepless Night Sunday, January 29, 2012. Sleepless night, tossing and turning, with Blackstar totally unsettled, meowing while trying to find Azreale. How can I explain to her that Azreale isn’t coming home? The two dogs are being patient and understanding, as Blackstar is vision impaired and keeps coming up to them, sniffing at them before hissing when she discovers they are not Azreale. Every time I take Chloe and Shrekkirri out for a short stroll, Blackstar is waiting at the door and she checks to see who they are. All three of them are following me everywhere I go. They all know something is wrong but haven’t quite worked it out yet. The dogs are more settled than Blackstar is, but I expected that. Blackstar has become my permanent shadow, either curled up on my lap or close to me, and always around my feet. Luckily she is still eating her meals and drinking her water, even though she is completely lost. Even though Blackstar is the older cat, Azreale has been part of her life since she was still a young cat. It is a matter of being patient with Blackstar and keeping a close eye on her, making sure she keeps eating and drinking. I know it may take a while before she settles and just accepts the new way of things. I have tried to write today but without any success. The shock of losing Azreale is still quite hard to deal with. Azreale was the fittest and least affected by age of all my pets and the second oldest of the four. She had never been sick a day in her life, a couple of times during extreme heat she turned off her food for a few days but bounced back without any sign of distress. The first time she does become really ill, nothing can be done to help her and she is gone. Azreale had been unwell for five days, there had been no earlier signs that something was seriously wrong and initially I believed it was the heat turning her away from her food. The third day was when it began to get slightly worse and late the fourth day I knew something was seriously wrong. On the fifth morning I took her to the vet and only a few hours later she had to be put to sleep. I know that if I had taken her to the vet earlier in the five days it would have changed nothing, but I wonder if I missed something small yet significant which would have made a difference in the months leading up to the five days. I have been searching my mind but there is nothing to indicate what was happening inside. Azreale was always the same, attention and affection on her terms, she’d let me know when her bowl was empty, it was always considered a privilege if Azreale sought out your company and allowed you to pat her. She was the least demanding of the four pets and only requested clean kitty litter, fresh water, full food bowl, a comfortable spot to curl up in and an occasional attention and patting session. Azreale’s purr was unique as it had a tune to its deep rumble, as if she was humming a note of approval upon her contentment. If during a cuddle session you stopped patting her, she would tap your hand with her paw and give you a look which clearly told you she had not advised you to stop. Azreale had a split personality, reflected in her fur as one side had more ginger than the other from the tip of her nose to the end of her tail. She could be skittish, boisterous and madly playful if the mood took her, seeking attention and encouraging games. She could also be as proud, calm and focused as a prowling tiger, quiet and reluctant to let on what she was considering as she watched over her territory. Quite often Blackstar would be her cushion when they curled up together and only occasionally they would chose a different spot to pass the time of day. It was rare but not unusual to find all four curled up on the same bed and close to each other. Occasionally a truce between the two species would be declared and a cautious agreement to relax and pass the day in the same space would be allowed. It was funny to watch as any movement would be acknowledged with a quick open eyed check of the situation by all before returning to the important activity of sleeping in comfort. The household will never be the same and when I open the tin of cat food I look for Azreale to come bounding in before realizing I do not need to put the whole tin in the dish. Blackstar also waits a few moments before beginning to eat her fill. It is so quiet without Azreale’s daily spurt of boisterous madness, which would happen randomly at some point of the day or night... |
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