|According to the count, it's been 75 days since my last entry in here, and I think I finally have something worth telling. I know what your thinking...It's taken her 75 days to come up with something worth writing about? Don't she have a life?
Well...You could be right, but I'm sure a couple of other things may have happened in the past 75 days that were worth writing about, but I can't remember what they were. Oh, well. We'll just get back to the story at hand. Today's tale, children, is centered around a sweet and innocent law abiding citizen.
I'm writing this in the wee hours of the morning, so this actually happened, technically speaking, yesterday evening. I had an appointment with my mental health doctor early in the afternoon, and although I was pretty tired from not being able to sleep the night before, I made it there on time instead of calling in sick. If I'd only known what was in store for me, I would have blew off the appointment and rescheduled in a couple of weeks, but as fate would have it, I was stupid enough to go anyway.
I really should have paid attention to the cosmic signs around me after I left the house. I had plenty of warnings that told me I should have stayed home, but did I listen...Hell no!
The first thing that should have made me turn back was the fact that on the way I felt sick to my stomach. I was feeling just fine when I left the house, a little tired from not having enough sleep, but a shower helped with that. Well, that may not have actually been the first warning...The first warning may have been that I hadn't been able to sleep, which meant that I would have slept past my appointment under normal circumstances. Sorry, I got carried away...I'll move on with the story...
You need to know that I live a ridge away from my actual hometown, and it takes me about 30 minutes to get from my house to there. I had a sudden urge of sickness about a quarter of the way, in plenty of time to turn back and spend the rest of the day in bed. That would have been the smart thing to do, but nobody's ever accused me of being that smart. I drove on thinking that it was more than likely caused by the fact that I hadn't eaten anything yet. I stopped and picked up some chips and a soda to help calm it down. That worked, so I continued on my journey.
The next sign soon reared its ugly little head by trying to cook me. All of a sudden I went from comfortable, it was kinda chilly from all of the rain we've been having, so I had on a sweatshirt, but I don't know if that's significant to the story or not, to burning up just like that. *snaps fingers* I couldn't figure that one out, but it obviously played an important role in the events too because it went away too. So, it all boils down to the following facts so far: I was nauseous soon after I left the house, and had a hot flash once I got to my destination. Anyone else would have thought 'flu', went in and rescheduled, and went home to bed...Not Missy!
The third tip-off was the fact that I actually got in to see my drug pusher on time. This never happens. Every time I've gone to my other appointments, I've had to wait for at least an hour to get in to see her. I always think that's odd since I only spend about 5-10 minutes in there. The whole place was deserted when most of the time it's standing room only. They only have like 6 or 7 chairs in the small waiting room, but, on most days, they only need 1.
Are you seeing how doomed I was from the beginning yet? Kinda scary so far, right?
I got everything taken care of, and was on my way home in less than and hour, so I figured it was my lucky day. My boyfriend always hates it when he decides to go to town with me on these appointments because he ends up sitting in the car for about a couple of hours while I'm trying to keep my sanity as I watch all of these people going back there and wonder if I'm next. I live in fear that if I'm not sitting right there when they call my name, they'll take someone else back there, and I'll have to wait even longer.
I bet you wish I'd just get on with this story so you could go back to what you were doing before you started reading this, huh? You've come this far, so you might as well finish it with me.
So, I get in my little auto-car, put on my seat belt, which I wouldn't do under normal circumstances, and begin my journey back home. Wait...Is that another sign? I'm usually extra careful when it rains because some people decide that rain and snow is the best conditions to drive stupidly, so I think I need to try and make up for their foolishness. What's with the whole milk and bread theory when the weather is calling for snow? I could never figure that one out. If it's bad and the electricity goes out the milk will ruin, and you wouldn't be able to use it to cook because the stove wouldn't work. Then you also have the problem in that situation of having to drink a whole gallon of milk so you didn't just waste 5 bucks.
Okay...Okay...I'm getting to it...
I hadn't gotten very far on my way home, not even a quarter mile, when I passed a state trooper going in the other direction. I thought nothing of this even though I sometimes worried about them stopping me. The reason I worried was because my car had been in an accident, and it was missing the front turn signals and the windshield is cracked. I bought it that way because I thought it was pretty cool. Really...It was cheap, and times are hard. The fact that it will run forever on a tank of gas, as long as you're not going across ridges and mountains, is a big bonus.
A little further up is the end of the road where you can turn to go into the center of the small 2 redlight town, or take an escape route out of town, but not towards my house. By the time I got to the stop, who did I see all snugged up my ass but that trooper. In the short distance I'd went since I passed him, he's turned around and was right behind me. Of course, we all know what that means...It's just a matter of time, right?
When the coast was clear, and there was a chance I wouldn't get ran over, I pulled out into the road. There was a car coming, but I guess he thought it'd stop while he proceeded with his chase. Now, this town is only 3 blocks long within the city limits, and since my front turn signals are missing, I always take this route on my way home because it's a straight shot up the ridge going home. I'm trying to be courteous to other driver even though half of them don't use a turn signal, and it can get a little dangerous at that red light.
I turned up the street to the backstreet, looked in my mirror, and he was still riding my ass. I turned onto the backstreet, and he was still there. At this point I'm just waiting on the blue lights to start flashing. I didn't have to wait very long. I pulled over at one of the local establishments thinking about how I live in such a small town, and how everyone would know before I got home. I really try hard to not add to the daily gossip mill, but I failed, and I'm sure by the end of the week I will have been stopped because of some drug related business. Who knows...I may even be a big time pill pusher, meth cooker, or pot grower before it's all said and done. I may be wasting away in jail at this very moment. It's only natural for people to assume that since most of the people around here fall into one or more of those categories, so I can't blame them. That's what I would have thought...
But alas, this was not the case...Mr. Trooper stopped me for the simple reason that my muffler was too loud. Can you believe that shit? I was in shock...With all the druggies, drunks, other people breaking the law, he chose to waste his time on little ol me over a muffler...He proceeds on how it may have a hole in it, or it could be loose, and I need to get it fixed. Granted, it is a little loud, but I can't help it. It was like that when I bought it. I'd already given him my DL, he wanted to see my registration and proof of insurance...I'm sure you all know the drill. Well, my boyfriend had stuck it in the glove compartment, and how he managed to get that thing open I'll never know, but while I was thinking about that, I got him sidetracked.
Like I said, It's a small town, and this happened to be a guy that went to school with my boyfriend, and they know each other pretty well, so I bring him up. Of course I thought this would help me...I'm not stupid. I need any edge I could get. Well, he acted like he didn't know who I was talking about, and that was a shock. I'd never met Mr. Trooper, but I'd heard a lot about him from my boyfriend. Needless to say, the registration was forgotten, but not the insurance. I had to admit to that one. In the process he'd returned my DL, and now he wanted it back. He looked it over very carefully and asked if the address was correct and if the registration was right. I told him yes, and he warned me that if he wrote me up they would suspend my DL until I had it. It's just a waiting game at this point. He's still focused on my DL, so I shot the gas to the car and left him in the dust.
Not really...That would have been cool though. He would have caught me without any problem, so I wouldn't have even tried. I would have hated to come home to a state trooper sitting in my driveway...What, pray tell, would the neighbors think? They're all family, so I don't care...
My luck finally decided to return, and he let me go with a warning. I told the boyfriend and he said the muffler was new. It'd just been put on before we bought it. My car is kinda low to the ground, but I made him get down on the soggy ground and check it any way. No holes, it hadn't came loose, but one of the gasket things was done for and leaking, causing it to echo which made it loud. I'll need to get it fixed, and get insurance as soon as possible because my boyfriend warned me that he'll stop me again to make sure I got everything taken care of...He's just that way, he says, and from the way he was studying my DL, I believe it. Thank goodness I don't travel much.
I suspect that I'm stored somewhere in the wanted poster part of his brain, and apparently, he never forgets anything...I can see it now...Most wanted...Missy...for the crime of loud muffler and no insurance. At least he didn't get me for not wearing a seat belt, so I guess there's a silver lining to every cloud.