Thoughts on life and society can be pointless, but that's what books are for. I've never enjoyed reading. |
It's always been difficult for me to read. Sometimes, I imagine little demons pulling at my eye lids.
The Devil is in the details. I like people, who can act. They're fun to watch. I guess I wish I could be an
actor, but I just don't have that charm and I stutter. My life is meaningless. I just lope from one place to
another. I think that's my strength. Most people need a career and family. .. Family is a nice idea, but
I've never had a nice family. Is this becoming annoying? ...
Let's start with Vertago! He's cool and a stud. He also is popping up a lot in my movie watching. The mind
can make association: like is the guy on the radio talking to me? Or why am I seeing so many eye balls in
my movie watching? Jeeeze! I just saw CASE 39. A really scary movie with an eye ball scene that's very icky.
This guy has a hornet come up out of his eye's lid.. tear duck. Any who, it's scary. Well, when I was
Veratgo on Private Games.com my picture was of my left eye.
It was trippy. Just a note to the CASE 39 writers: Lilith is not evil. I'm talking about Adam's first wife, expelled
from Eden, because she "Would not be his beast of burden." Lilith is the first feminist in Bible Lore,
she is immortal. So you can't drown her. Nope, only God can stop her.
Okay, this Vertago guy is still effecting me. Strangers will look at me and cover their right eye, cars will shut
one headlight off. That's dangerous! I had an elderly woman pinch my butt an call me "Vertago." in the mall.
There was a Vertago concert. There is a Vertago song by U2. I started writing about Vertago in the 90's on an
Australian web site Private Games.com. That's when I was working at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart was awful.
I had an over night manager slap me in the face.
I just wish people would stop dropping pennies around me. I mentioned that Abraham Lincoln is looking to
the right, while all the other presidents are facing to the left, because he was assassinated. Now, I get penny's
dropped around me. I wish I had mentioned the dollar bill and the star of David over the eagel's head.
It has twelve stars in it for the twelve Apostles. Feel free to throw dollars at me.
Reflections: I wasn't completely honest about what I said about the penny. I was quoting the old Civil war
lore Lincoln was facing right because he freed the slaves and turned his back on the brotherhood. That's
what I wrote on Private Games.com. I'm not in favor of slavery.
| I had completed my literature exam.
As usual , I felt confident and was the last to present my paper
to the professor... I like to reread the questions.
I handed my rewritten and eraser smudged paper over with a smile.
"My son drowned snorkeling." the professor stated with a blank expression.
I froze in a dilemma between saying something trite or something personal
from my own experience with the loss of a loved one.
"I can't swim. I've always had a fear of drowning.
I'm an atheist and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Why are you here?" I stammered ....
"It's all right. I made it up. I just wanted to see how you'd react."
the professor smirked.
I gave a nervous smile back an exited quickly to avoid any poor
remarks. .. I didn't want to flunk a simple literature course.
I got an 84.
My life experience has given me an odd perspective on human nature.
But, I have spent many years reanalyzing these odd events.
For example, my sisters baby sat me.
They liked to dress me up like a girl with their hand me downs.
At the time, I thought this was normal, but, mom did not.
Okay. Why did this odd event happen?
My sisters were teenagers and their ethics had not fully developed.
It takes time to learn social behavior and respect for others.
I had sex with my best friends sister ..
I was in high school and Michael was not happy about me
dating his sister Rachael.
Once again, this was an irrational teenage impulse.
Rachael's dad Gunther did not approve ..
I assured him I was using condoms .. I actually believed that would
appease him. It did not.
I was banned from his house and forbidden to touch his daughter.
Rachael and I got together outside and continued to have sex.
What I concluded is this, we think we are rational, but we have a basic
instinct to mess with each other.
Most of human history has been driven by a desire to be dominant
Nevertheless, we are essentially monkeys with big brains.
I still can't fathom why that professor wanted to monkey around with me?
Maybe, she thought I was cute?
There I go ... Silly monkey .
| I like Godzilla movies.
Trump reminds me of Godzilla.
There is always a build up to a Godzilla flick.
You learn about the characters and little about Japanese culture,
then Godzilla appears and smashes everything.
It's fun to watch, but you don't want Godzilla in your city.
Trumps politics is essentially Viking and Godzilla.
Crush your enemies and take all their stuff.
Back in the day this made sense, when Vikings raped and pillaged ..
However, that policy today would get us nuked.
Does Donald Trump think about Russia and China's response to
an American take over of Iraqi oil?
"We should invade Iraqi and surround the oil fields with Marines."
Donald Trump said .. What would the Russians do?
"Let's build a wall between Mexico and the U.S." Donald Trump said.
The American Agriculture Department has stated that they need migrant
workers to pick and harvest their fields(cheap).
American workers wont do it without benefits and a living wage.
But, Mr. Trump continues to roar and snort radioactive racist rants.
And the Republican voters love it.
What is worse a salty crooked plutocrat like Hilary Clinton or
I'm a Democrat and I thought Jeb Bush was going to be the Republican
champion against the Viking Trump.
Oh well, here comes Godzilla.
Joe Biden might be a game changer at the convention..
Or we are screwed.
I saw the epic when it first opened.
It was fun .. It started a religious following .
There are people , who live the way of the Jedi.
They believe in the force.
I pondered the meaning of the sci-fi dynasty.
Is the force mightier , than the merchandising?
It's a simple knight's quest for justice.
Of course, we are entertained by galactic battle scenes
and Jedi mind tricks.
Does the force come from a chemical in the Jedi's blood?
How do they survive after the body is dead?
Is this supernatural?
Energy is mass, therefore, the spirit is physical.
A ghost could be a manifestation of this energy.
Any who, I'd wait for the crowds to disperse.
There are so many nut jobs around.
I don't want to be massacred ...
Maybe, I'll wait for it to come out on RED BOX.
I saw Batman Returns in the Hoyts Cinema..
That was before the massacre.
I'm not brave enough to risk my life for a movie.+
I am excited about Batman vs. Superman.
I'll wait for it to come out on RED BOX.
I have the Dark Night comics.
I have odd thoughts. I am aware of the danger from society
when expressing these oddities.
First off, 5000,00 people have died on the Congo
from last month. Many were killed in tribal wars,
most were eaten by the wild life. Should the United States
send troops to protect the defenseless?
Syria has oil. That is why Russia and The United States want
to control it. A conventional war is practical, nukes destroy everything.
Over a million Syrians have fled their country. No one has counted the dead.
So, the United States pulls out of Syria and Russia does the dirty work
of thinning the opposition ... That's genocide.
What is practical can be genocidal.
I fear that moderate Moslems will be targeted by Islamist extremist
and secular globalists. It is practical to demonize your enemy as
the United States demonized Japanese Americans after Pearl Harbor.
Can you trust a woman in a hajim?
Go to any Catholic Church and you will see a statue of the Madonna ,
wearing a veil .. It was Mosiac Law.
I am not a fan of the Seria Law. However, a desperate people will take
up any banner that rebuilds their pride and hope for justice.
That is how Hitler was elected by a majority in Germany.
Hot topics in the news are mostly propaganda for the corporations that own
the media. Bill O'Rielly likes to champion the Republicans.
So, what? I really, can't see any way around a 18trillion dollar money pit.
The Federal Government will collapse and local State Government will be
on their own. Neither, Democrat or Republican can stop it.
There will most likely be marshal law and lost of personal liberties such as
private gun ownership.
How many private gun owners will stand against the military?
That is a revolution and treason.
There are many events in the news that sound like a lone killer ,
but there targets could be considered terrorist tactics.
A city can be paralyzed by a terrorist threat in strategic traffic routes,
such as, the sniper attacks in the news.
The United States Senate was evacuated because of a false risen threat.
Power utilities and water depots are soft targets.
All of which will lead to more police searches and monitoring of citizens.
What if every Syrian was killed?
That would not kill Moslem extremism.
The only way to stop a bad idea is to reeducate the indoctrinated fanatics.
That takes a longtime ...
And where is God?
Well, I was raised to believe we live in the mind of God.
Ergo, it's all a dream.. Yeah, that's not going to stop the pain.
Please, don't shoot me.+
| I don't like crowds.
I especially dislike screaming fans.
Nevertheless, I stood in line for 3 hours
to sit in a cramped auditorium ..
to listen to Donald Trump.
I sat next to a guy jumping up and down
with his hand up to ask a question.
The Donald ignored him and answered a question
about going to Mars.
He was opposed to going to Mars.
Donald wants to concentrate on the infrastructure.
YES! He wants to focus on rebuilding America
and bombing the Iraqi oil fields..
? Then, the Marines and American oil companies
can take back the oil.?
This is Viking plundering.
Isn't Donald Viking?
The tactic only works if your target is
weak. What if Iran or Russia get upset?
Dose Donald want a war with Russia or Iran?
I suppose it sounds good at a rally.
My question for Donald Trump~
"How can the the United States
pay for another 2 trillion dollar
That's what the last war with Iraq cost.
Maybe more taxes would help?
A flat tax would tax all food and services.
So, the hookers and drug dealers at the Republican
convention would be paying for Trump's Viking
diplomacy.. Is that okay?
|She said not a word, but stared.
Oh well, I cannot expect a perfect reunion ..
What revolves in my mind are simple moments.
After cleaning mother, who had parkinsons ,
my sister visited .. I was young and unhappy
with the burden I had. My sister reminded me
that I was living with my parents rent free
and I didn't have to get a job: "You lazy bum."
I retorted, "Does anything good come out of your
mouth?" She and her husband yelled at me.
Many childhood memories involve hypnotic pot smoking
to the Beatles and strange voodoo witchy sex.
I think my most intense sex was with my best friends
sister Rachael. We met on the stairs leading to
the third floor of her parents house. She was wearing only a
T-shirt. It had a Snoopy on it. I've always felt the
vagina is a weird looking organ. But, my pogo stick
was hard on!
At that age, in my teens , I was certain I had gotten
Rachael pregnant, but nothing grew from it.
I guess I;m not potent ? Rachael said she wanted to have
a baby. I liked it when she squeezed me with her legs.
Any who, my buddy Michael didn't like my romp with
his sister. It split us up.
I wonder if my sister still likes me?
She is not talking to me. I wonder what happen to
Michael and Rachael? Rachael wanted to be a bus driver.
Michael wanted to be a film maker. I lost touch with
them when we went to different high schools.
My mom believed in Camelot and the marriage of King Author to Jesus'
daughter Sarah. She believed that the messiah would be a descendant
from King Author's line.. I got a copy of People Magazine with Kate and William's
baby girl Princess Charlotte. Is this the divine line? Oy.
The queen is the head of the Church of England, like a Pope...
The older I get; the crazier life seems. I suppose if there is a God, he or she
would want to communicate with us. Maybe, God is nuts?
That would explain the hate, love relationship. God drowned every living thing
that walked or flew, except for an inbred family and their live stalk, like the
Duck Dynasty they floated away. Then came Abraham and Moses and Jesus
and Mohamed .. Oy. Did Jesus really save the world from sin? How?
I thought suicide was a mortal sin. Aren't we responsible for own sins?
Abraham started sharia law with circumcisions ..
Moses made it legal. All those stone throwing laws and genocidal tribal wars
came from old testament law. Yup, Mohamed copied the Jews.
"There shall be no graven image of the Lord" Leviticus decrees and today
cartoonist are marked for death. Praise the Lord?
I wonder if anyone can reason with a cartoon jihadist?
I have a dream that Christians and Jews and gentiles can civilize Islam.
But, history has demonstrated that true believers kill first and then make peace
with God. Atheist just want to get along..
Richard Dawkins likes to argue that the universe does not need an intelligent designer.
Well, then is the universe God? The first requirement of Divinity is not having a creator.
He can accept infinite dimension , but deny an infinite God.
That sounds like a natural prejudice. I'm confused... I better take a nap.
We've all lost our tempers. One time I was eating an ice cream cone
and a dope bumped into me and spilled my ice cream on my t-shirt.
He didn't even apologize. I was quietly peeved.
Another incident involved my mother, she would police my room for
drugs and porn. Oh, I was a high school nerd. So, I didn't have any drugs
but lots of Playboy and Hustler magazines .. She burned them.
I shouted at her, "That's what Hitler would do!"
Fast forward, to riots in the 70's anti-war protests. I just did not care.
Nor did I care about the race riots in New York.
I had my train set and porn. I especially enjoyed Rachael's visits ..
and Virginia would strip in the center of my train set. I'd lay the tracks
on the floor. Rachael was a Jew and Virginia was a color girl.
They both loved to strip and had bouncy boobs. My mom never caught on.
Maybe, she approved of live porn?
I like variety. If you ponder racism, you'll see how silly it is to believe in
racial purity. How could any one believe they're ancestors never
came from Africa? Or, never had sex with color people?
Paul Donavan is a big Irish American friend. He'd talk down on color
people. So, I asked him, "Do you have any Italian relatives ?"
He did. But, he didn't believe Italians were colored.
Paul's a Boston cop. He has a catch fraise , "If it's white it stands.
If it's brown it's down." Yup, he's a racist.
I think critical thinking should be taught in school. There are a lot of
stupid people. Just watch Fox News and you'll see color people demonized.
Most slave owners had sexual relations with their African slaves.
Thomas Jefferson did and he wrote, "All men are created equal."
I met Leonard Nimoy at a Star Trek convention.
It was very loud and he laughed a lot. I think he was saying something
about how Star Trek has encouraged people to pursue careers in
science. I was just in awe of him.
In MINDMELD , he talks about how he thought Star Trek was
an educational entertainment show. He also said that he was always
expecting to be fired. He was looking for other acting jobs, while working
on Star Trek and he thought the show would be cancelled ..
I was born in 1962. Star Trek started up in 67.
So, I discovered it in reruns. I honestly did not take it that seriously.
I was more excited by Linda Carter in her Wonder Woman tights.
I was in high school and enjoyed science fiction, but I didn't like to be
preached to. I got the Gospels from Dad and it got annoying.
Here's the message I gleamed from Star Trek, humanity will survive
and explore the universe. Each episode started off optimistic and
usually ended with some aliens getting shot. I wonder if Spock ever
got married? There is a new Spock, who has something going on with
Uhura. Why not?
Bernadette was a nice girl, who had her father's barrel
chest. It was the summer of 1972 and I and my buddies
were walking around the neighborhood .. Bernadette
came out of her house dressed in black jeans and a
black short sleeve shirt. Michael and Andy and I lined
up to meet her. She sat down on the curb and had a blank
expression. I asked what was the matter. Her sister
Marcella was away and she was alone in the house.
I had a wicked thought about having my way with her
in her empty house.
"Can I come over?" I asked.
"Sure." Bernadette answered blankly.
I excused myself from Michael and Andy and followed
her into the side door that led to the kitchen.
Bernadette asked if I would remove my shoes. I did.
She sat at a stainless steal kitchen table set, sipping her soda
through a straw.. She asked if I would take off my shirt as
she put her shirt over the back of her chair and pulled off
her t-shirt.. I have a hollow chest and was reluctant, but
I complied. Bernadette made a face of disgust.
That ended my striptease.
I returned to Michael and Andy and played some baseball
in Raymond Park.
Oh, I'm still kicking myself.