Well, tomorrow is. Half past April and the dreaded tax day. I could write about that now, but I have only a few minutes before the dinner will be ready. Cabbage is cooking, to go with pork roast. What trivial thing that inspired me to write at all--and probably not nearly as worthy as many others that inspired me but didn't get me actually sitting at the computer with this page in front of me-- was the Sears ad in the paper. The man is wearing a suit and tie, the woman a dress (although very short), and the little girl has on a dress and an 'Easter bonnet' and is carrying a basket as if for eggs. (I should go back and look, because i've maybe made up those last two items.) Anyway, here in the West, that would be an unusual event. Women don't wear dresses very often. Men don't wear suits very often. And families seldom look like they're headed out for Easter services. In fact, I wonder if many of the young families even know Easter as anything other than eggs and bunnies. Even the Easter bonnets are passe.
So who is Sears marketing to?

Even the "Christmas and Easter" Christians are a much smaller bunch than usual.

What do you think? What goes on at your place for this holiday? What do kids think it's about? Just another excuse for candy, I suspect. Bah humbug.
 

Well, I guess I know by now that doctors usually say one of two things: "Why didn't you come in sooner?" or "If it doesn't get better, come back." I prefer the second one, even though I always feel a little foolish to have: a.). Bothered them ???!!! b. Spent the money to see them, and c. Wasted my time.

The UA came back negative, so she didn't think it was a kidney infection. But, as she said after the exam, there are a lot of things down there that it could be. So, if it gets worse this week, or doesn't get better by next week, call.

Okay. I can do that.

I didn't get much done at work, unfortunately. Called a new patient I hadn't seen yet, but she was already dying, and her daughter said she had had the priest there and didn't need me. Okay. Another new one died the day he was admitted. Now that's discouraging. I have one more new one to meet tomorrow and hear that I'll really enjoy him. Darn, I hope he lives longer than my recent patients that I felt a bond to.

The wife of a local hospitalist sent us a copy of an article from The New Yorker from sometime this fall. It was terrific. It covered all the reasons why it's so difficult for patients, doctors, and the healthcare system to actually focus on quality of life for whatever time remains rather than continuing to try for a treatment that will give them maybe an extra month or two at best, and lousy quality during that time, most likely in the hospital instead of at home. If any of you are interested, I'll get the exact date and title of the article for you to read.

Bill got to fly tonight, and that makes me very happy. He doesn't have his medical back yet, ever since his surgery last spring, but could and should get at it. In the meantime he went up, in our plane, with a doctor friend who is an instructor. The plane needed flying, and so did both men. A good time was had by all, even in the freezing cold.

I spent time talking on the phone to my son, and he told me about Pandora radio that he listens to on his computer. I know Bill listens to iTunes all the time and has tried to get me interested, but so far has not tempted me. I tried Pandora tonight and am really enjoying it. Hap's suggestions included a Russian group with pretty off-color lyrics but a great, sort of reggae beat. He's my kid who introduced me to Pink Floyd and Robert Marley. I've been listening to the track from O Brother Where Art Thou and other Bluegrass music including Flatt and Scruggs. Now I've got some soft gospel on, something I don't like on regular radio, but like the artists I've picked on Pandora. I don't like sentimental religious music. In fact, I think I'll go give a thumbs down to this particular selection. But I do like John Michael Talbot and the St. Louis Jesuits.

It must be about bed time. I'm reading a lousy book now, one of the only ones I thought i might like by the time I got to the last book store in the San Diego airport. The first three all had good titles, but once past security I was stuck with choices I didn't like. I'd never ready Philippa Gregory before, and I am interested in England, but The White Queen isn't my kind of book. I won't pick that author again, but will probably finish reading it.

I think I'll buy a Kindle for my son for his birthday. I'm just debating about which one. Does he need 3G, or will that be an extra monthly cost? Any suggestions? I have a Sony Reader I bought Bill last year for Christmas. He downloaded Sarah Palin's book and gave it to me. I have no interest in her book, but finally decided to see what else I can do with it since he isn't going to. He's been reading something on his Android phone with a Kindle ap.

 

I had a nagging pain in my right lower abdomen last night, and it has remained all day, maybe gotten a little worse. So after our morning meeting I went to the lab for a UA and then came home. Pretty boring day. I felt more like sleeping than anything else, so that's about all I've done. I have a stack of laundry to put away before Bill comes home from his meeting at the airport, but that's about it. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, and I'm glad about that.

Another thing I'm glad about is that the FB games I've been so involved with for the past year, well, they've lost their appeal. I was down to playing just one regularly and two more occasionally before we went on vacation. I've fiddled around on my farm a little since then, but with no real interest. Yea! I'm very happy to be rid of that addiction.

Hey, I read a great book on my cruise. It was Amy Tan's Saving Fish from Drowning. It was funny and insightful. It challenged our common notions of how to help others without doing harm, how to choose what we support and why. A great mixture of some truth that made the fiction all that more tantalizing, and it was hard to know what parts were real. Yea for Google. It straightened me out.
 

We didn't do much today. Started with the Rose Parade of course, did a couple loads of laundry, added a few more things to the soup I started yesterday. Watched that great old movie Silver Streak. I'd forgotten how funny it was.

We were invited to an open house this afternoon, and just as we were heading out to the car, an old friend drove up. He's a 92 yr old man whose wife is in the nursing home, and he loves Bill for helping him with his radio equipment and taking him flying. He showed up with a special new year's treat, three root beer floats, one for each of us. So we came back in and enjoyed our floats. He wanted Bill's help with something on the computer, and when they had that finished, he agreed to go to the open house with us. I knew they wouldn't mind an extra.

Just when I was thinking it was time to leave, I got a page to go to a death, fortunately in my town. Took Bill and Norm home and went on to the job. It wasn't a place I'd ever been before and I wasn't sure I wanted to. Actually, I was pretty sure I didn't want to. The people were standing around screaming at barking dogs. The nurse warned me that the little one bites, and also that she'd seen a bedbug there earlier. I'm so scared of bedbugs! She admitted later that maybe she'd been wrong, so I didn't strip in my garage and throw all my clothes down to the washer immediately. Did consider leaving my shoes and coat outside so any bedbugs would freeze over night.

I've been waiting all day for my opponents on WordFeud to play their words. That's one of the aps on my new phone. It was fun as long as the other folks were playing, but now one has evidently quit, leaving me winning with no more letters available to draw. The other is ahead but it's his turn. Darn. Any of you interested in playing on-line scrabble (by one name or another)?

Bill has been captioning all his pictures for FB. I didn't take my camera this trip, so it's all up to him.

Bedtime, just about. See you tomorrow?
 

What! I didn't write a single word here in the month of December? I can hardly believe it. And here it is, my very last chance of the year. I picked a new "skin", whatever that is. Firefox pushed them too, and I picked one there also. They're so small, such a tiny sliver of the page, that I hardly know what all the to-do is about. And can anyone else see mine when they come to my portfolio or blog? Dunno.

Half an hour yet till Capitol Steps comes on, and I don't want to miss it. I usually forget, but have heard it plugged several times on NPR in the past few days and may actually hear it this year.

It's been a strange December. All the first of the month was busy while I tried to see new patients and pack for our cruise, and attend to Christmas presents at least in a token fashion. By the time we were almost ready to go, I started getting sick and had to see a doctor in San Diego the night before we sailed away. Not handy when you're in a strange city with no car. But lo and behold the hotel concierge sent the hotel doctor, and he was a gem. He came with a suitcase full of meds and gave me a week's worth of antibiotic for diverticulitis and some more pills to soothe the cramping. Several days of clear liquids and I was feeling much better. (I don't suppose I should have counted gin as one of them, but I did.) I guess that's one way to cut the total gain of cruise pounds: just don't eat for the first few days.

The weather was perfect, sunny and warm, temperatures in the low 80's. We didn't get in the ocean, to Bill's disappointment. That was okay with me. I'd rather look at it than get in it. We did take my daughter and the twins (10 yr olds) to swim with the dolphins, but it turned out to be in a big pool, and the water was pretty cold. Fun anyway though.

Oops, I hear Bill showering, now that he woke up from his nap. He must be planning on going to the 11:30 New Year's Eve service at church. I'm always glad I've gone, but never want to go. Tonight my tummy's bothering me again, and I just started a big pot of chicken enchillada soup on the stove. The champagne is in the fridge, a local variety. We grow mostly red wine grapes around here, so that was a surprise. But I imagine that's what he's got on his mind. Having skipped all the Christmas services (except for an impromptu one on the ship) I guess it's time I got back in the groove. I did miss it. It didn't really seem like Christmas at all, but I'm not complaining.

So, I hope to get back here in the new year. May all of you be safe tonight and find many blessings in the year ahead.




 

Here I am on Cyber Monday, looking thru the ads for things to buy for sundry folk who say they don't really want or need anything, and for their kids who think they want and need everything. And even for the grandkids who we're taking on a cruise for Christmas, because I don't want them to be disappointed on that long at-sea day with nothing under any tree for them.

So far I've found three pairs of pants, two tops, and a new car for myself. Hmmm. That is not getting down to business, is it?

I actually made the mistake of letting the site contact the car dealers, and now am inundated with emails about when I want to come get my new Ford Escape or Mercury whatever. I wrote them back, politely, and told them not until the snow melts. It would be a terrible shame to plow a brand new car into a ditch, stop sign or somebody else's bumper, and all those things seem mighty likely with the ice that's on the road.

Did I tell you about my daughter's post last week? I've quit reacting so strongly to some of the idiotic things people say on Facebook, obviously trying to be obscure and/or clever. She said it was a good season to be thankful not only for our blessings but for even the things we don't think that much of because you never know when you'll get hit by a bus. The next day she posted the picture of her bashed fender and the bus's unscratched bumper. She was on the way to pick up her son and take him to the doctor because he'd fallen down the steps at school. The principal thought he might have broken his ankle. Well, he's swollen and bruised but okay, and the car is driveable but crushed. Her insurance is not going to be at all happy. And the injured one's twin sister was whining that she needed an x-ray too because someone had run a sled over her foot. Her mother was not amused.

Over the Thanksgiving weekend the weather prohibited us from going anywhere. Bill was tired anyway, and stiff and sore, didn't mind at all that he didn't have to drive or ride 4 or 5 hours. He happily spent several days downloading all the pictures of the people at the hunt, the dogs, the birds, the cleaning and processing tent, and the mess hall. Better yet, he got to tell me in detail about each one. Ah, I should have had my knitting out. I could have accomplished something while saying, "Um-hm," and "Nice" over and over.

He's off at a meeting now. I cancelled the one I was supposed to have tonight. Wish I could find the cocoa powder. Hot chocolate would be good about now, as I begin my hunt in earnest for toys for a 3 yr-old boy who lives far away. The search is on.

 

The snow has been coming down heavily since last night, with a partial melt during the day to make the roads more calamitous. if that's a word. Fortunately I got to ride with a nurse in her Expedition as we made our way north to the Snake river, a fifty mile trip up on poorly marked and sparsely traveled country roads. It's a good thing she'd been there just a few days before or we'd never have found the place in this white out. All the little landmarks were obscured by snow, and later fog. Only the big grain elevators marked the way. The patient may not live the night, and I'm glad it's not my night on call. I'd hate to make the trip again in the dark.

I'm procrastinating, and it's getting to the 11th hour, figuratively speaking. I have to get a memorial service planned tonight before I go to bed, and I'd like to get a good night's sleep. It's so hard to figure out what to say when you've never met the person and the family can only come up with a couple of general statements. "She was a good mother" is wonderful, but it doesn't take much time to say without some illustrations. Add in that they want a touch of religion for her mother's sake, but that no one in the family is religious. So that means they want the 23rd psalm, "because it's traditional, isn't it?" Traditional among families who aren't familiar with anything else in the Bible, but that's unfair. Other people like it too. At least they don't want the music that fits in the same category, songs they've heard at funerals before but that don't mean anything to them personally, like "The Old Rugged Cross" and "Amazing Grace" and "How Great Thou Art." Not that there's anything wrong with them, but if they don't fit the person who died, I wish they'd come up with something else. There's one hymn I actually don't like and might even try to talk a family out of: In the Garden.
There's something just sappy about it to me. I once heard it paraphrased: "And He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He chucks me under the chin." That's the feeling it gives me.

These folks at first had no suggestions other than, tongue-in-cheek, Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. Fortunately her mom had a list that included "Bridge over Troubled Waters" and "Let Peace Begin with Me." And Eagles Wings, another funeral favorite but such a nice song. All more contemporary and fitting for a 50 yr old.

Well, I'd better get on with it. Bill called to say it was too warm for hunting today. He's in Indiana with his kids, pheasant hunting, while it's 17 degrees here and snowing. I'm glad he's having a good time, but I sure miss him these cold nights.

Maybe tomorrow night I'll have time to actually read some blogs. That would be good.

 

Can't say why exactly, but I'm happier tonight. Bill came home a little after midnight for a few hours of sleep before it became light enough for planes to search for the downed aircraft. I'm not sure when he left, much earlier than I got up to go to work. The wreckage was sighted around mid-morning, no survivors. It was a single engine plane, a little older than the one we fly but comparable. The pilot evidently got into bad weather or something and crashed into the canyon wall. He was flying alone, but his siblings were among the ground crew searching, and they were the first on the scene. That's a grim picture.

I had a new patient today, another grim picture, a woman 15 yrs younger than I am, dying from a brain tumor, unable to communicate. On the only positive side, her husband kept her house very neatly for her, and she looked lovely in her bed by the window.

Felicia can't find her passport, and we're taking her and the kids on a cruise in December.

So, see, there's no good reason to be in a better mood. Except maybe it's just good not to be that woman in that bed, and not to have that man in that crashed airplane be my man.

And he just came in the door. So I'll go share a bottle of good merlot with him and go to bed early.

P.S. I'm thinking it was a better day because I was in a better space, thanks to my WDC friends' good listening.
 

Thanks, Alfred, for your good answer. I think your example is very similar, even though the subject matter and techniques are so different. I suppose there are several common points as well, I think. Nobody actually "gets" it immediately, if ever, not religion or musical ability. Both require faith that there's something worth going after, and both require practice. One of the famous old church writings is called "Practicing the Presence of God." You might look it up. It's very short and probably even available on line.

You made me think a new thought there. I know I have very little musical talent. I played a horn in high school band and sang in many choirs, but I don't have a gift. I came quickly to diminishing returns as I practiced, not having the ear for what it should sound like and getting discouraged easily. My new thought is: maybe spirituality is equally foreign to some people's nature. I'm defining spirituality as finding meaning in life and being able, at some level, to transcend the material world, maybe with music for instance. Some of the folks I meet daily have never believed in anything they could not hold in their hands, or at least never thought much about it. Their world has been work and making a livelihood for for their families, and they have, of necessity and training, lived in the word of facts. They often distrust feelings and imagination. Maybe they have avoided religion because it was as unintelligible as algebra, or poetry to them, a different world.

Well, I'll have to think about that. It's a good thought and worth some more pondering.

One thing though, for you: faith is not a matter of being able to believe that all the God-stuff is 100% true. Maybe it's partly the willing suspension of disbelief, part hope, and part yearning. I can dismiss a whole lot of what passes for religion as foolishness. When I get to the essential questions like where did the stuff of the Big Bang come from, and is there a purpose to human existence, and how about for me?--then I can't just say "Hogwash." I'm stuck wondering, hoping and yearning.

And I think I'll make this tonight's blog! Thank you very much!