Does anyone else find it ridiculous that people are expected to be completely inoffensive at all times? I do. Because what constitutes offensive? What I find offensive is different from what someone else finds offensive, yes? Tongue-in-cheek, light-hearted poking fun at someone is not offensive to me at all. But apparently, I'm supposed to be all fluffy and Smiles Mcdougall all the time. Giving someone the "Real Housewife of Broward County" award when they've stated that their goal in life is to marry a rich man and lay by the pool all day...NOT OFFENSIVE. And getting offended on behalf of the person getting that award because you have the sense of humor of a dead fish when I KNOW FOR A FACT SHE'LL THINK IT'S FUNNY is ridiculous.

So please, people, calm down. Spending your entire life worrying that every word you say might offend someone is wasting your life. Sometimes, you gotta be tongue-in-cheek. Sometimes, an off-color joke is ALRIGHT. Just check your audience, you know? When someone tells me that I need to completely change my sense of humor because they don't get it...I kind of want to knock their teeth out. I know who my audience is and I know how they'll react to something, so please don't feel the need to warn me that tongue-in-cheek humor could possibly be offensive. Because, in reality, giving people really sincere awards is more likely to piss someone off. Seriously, if I give one person the "Nicest Person" award, I think someone else who thinks they're nice will be a lot more offended than if I handed out a "Most Likely to Trip Over Their Own Two Feet" award. Sometimes tongue-in-cheek is much less offensive than sincerity, especially when a lot of people are involved in a public setting. Plus, it's a PARTY. Sometimes it's fun to poke fun at people.

For example, the girl I'm talking about it pissed because she's getting the "Tokidoki Titan" award. She didn't know what a titan was and was like "why are some people getting queen and empress and god when I get titan?" I told her that the people getting queen and empress and god are being made fun of. The person getting the 'god' award is getting the "God of Drive Thru" award. How is that NOT being made fun of, exactly? You're the GOD of a DRIVE THRU! Seriously. She needs to calm the heck down and grow a pair. She tells me in one breath not to treat anyone special and give some people really good awards and some not-so-good awards (when they're ALL equally tongue-in-cheek) and then, in the next breath, asks me to give her a special award that's not poking fun at her at all (roasting, she calls it, which is ridiculous because people are downright cruel and crude at roasts). How is that not special treatment? Especially since she's a TITAN. That's a fricken GOD. It's ridiculous. Basically, we're calling her the goddess of fun and quirky, because Tokidoki is a fun and quirky brand. How is that offensive? How could that possibly BE offensive?

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD?! This PC crap is driving me NUTS! In my opinion, as long as what you say is mildly appropriate, someone has to ALLOW their feelings to be hurt. No one can DO anything to your feelings that you don't ALLOW to happen. So, if you realize that everything is meant in a light-hearted poking fun sort of manner, there is no reason to allow your feelings to be hurt. This girl needs to grow a pair or she's going to have a really, really hard time in this world. If her feelings are that hurt by a stupid paper plate award, what's going to happen when she gets a real job and someone starts screaming at her? Seriously.

I've tried really hard to be especially nice to this chick. I cut down on the sarcasm, I cut back on the caustic sense of humor, the dry wit, the political snark...I've basically completely changed my sense of humor around her so her feelings couldn't possibly be HURT...and I'm sick and DAMN TIRED of it. She can pretty much go suck a nut. I'm her supervisor, so I'll treat her with the respect she deserves as a coworker and someone I need to supervise, but she's not going to get anything from me but professional efficiency. She's burnt her last bridge. I'm twenty-two...she is thirty-three...why do I seem to have more maturity than her? Seriously?