I’m a simple person, always have enjoyed life when it was uncomplicated. What’s uncomplicated to one may be boring to another but I don’t care which is a main rule of my life; I don’t care all that much what others think of my lifestyle.

Last week it was time for a haircut. I visited a shop way out of my normal traffic pattern. Normally I’m tight lipped, not sharing conversation with the stylist however this time I was a Fred Friendly. After the usual questions about normal stuff; family, marriage and pets it was obvious to her that I don’t want responsible in my life, except for being responsible for myself.

The conversation then got into bizarre yet appropriate topics; nothing out of bounds was said. I knew I was in trouble when she started complimenting me. It was signal to shut my yapper and politely get out of dodge. In my younger days I woulda busted a move and probably secured a date however being old enough to be her father the uncomplicated course of action was not to be a fool and just fade into the sunlight.



Richard
 

Aster 2 days of snow and at least 8" of the white stuff on the ground, the first snow days of the season are over. This morning I cleared off my car in only ten minutes. My reward was a steamy mug of hot chocolate. There appears to be a small drift blocking my car however I'm confident with snow tires and all wheel drive I'll be free in seconds.

The real fun was sitting at home watching people attempt to travel on various steep hills in the city. There are several other routes up hills which are less steep but these people just had to go home their usual way. Some people were backing down or turning around and driving the wrong way down hills on one way streets. Everyone was either stuck or going so slow there were no serious accidents. Next week we are supposed to have more snow days. Well it's time to set my Subaru free.


Richard
 

This morning I noticed a paper towel with red stains in my trash. My first thought was blood. I didn't cut myself shaving nor could I find any cuts on my body. Then I remembered yesterday I had tomato soup for lunch and placed the spoon on the paper towel.


Richard
 

A few years ago while shopping for tea I came across an item which made me burst out in laughter. It was PMS tea. Picking up the package and reading the comments I couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily no one was in the same aisle.

If this tea could do what the package said it would be the best selling tea in the World. All that relief from a tea? Get real. I imagined some sucker who bought this tea for the lady in his life, man would he be disappointed. I even wrote a poem about the magical tea. This rant is because a couple of days ago while shopping for tea there it was on the shelf.

My mother died at age 82 of Alzheimer’s. It is a terrible way to die both for the person afflicted and their family and friends. Yet there were many great memories which I’ll cherish forever.

One night my mother and I were going to dinner at my sister’s house a few blocks away. As Mom was getting ready she looked at me and asked if she should take a tampon. One thing I learned about Alzheimer’s is to always go into that person’s World, if it isn’t threatening, so I said sure take one.

Memories make life worth living.



Richard
 

Michele Bachmann said today in Iowa that when Obama became President gasoline was $1.79/gal. She said that she would return gasoline to that price if she were elected President. This is a perfect example of someone who doesn't know poop from peanuts.


Richard
 

While reading The New Yorker magazine I came across a great line to use when someone does or says something, to be kind, less than smart. I give you, "You don't know poop from peanuts." I can't stop ing.
 

Santa has it right,
visit people one
time a year.

Woody Paige, The Denver Post

Happy Holidays

Richard
 

Down with illness, a 24 hour bug consisting of chills, body aches, stuffed sinus and low energy. This morning awake at 2AM, feeling much chipper I couldn’t return to sleep. It was a great opportunity to shop at Wal-Mart.

I made a list and checked it twice got into my sleigh, made sure the reindeer were ready…oh wait that’s not until next weekend.

I gathered my items at the giant house of discounts quickly, although in no hurry as I browsed my way to the only checkout open at such an early hour. Three customers were ahead of me. Two of them had only a few items but the third was the shopper from Hell with shopping cart over flowing with purchases. The first two people would be finished quickly. The shopping cart would take some time however time was my friend not an enemy.

So much for the best laid plans. The first customer appeared to be a Fred Friendly, lollygagging as the cashier scanned his items. Why people want to chit-chat so early in the morning is beyond me. The second customer appeared to have issues with payment and then he re-bagged his items slowing the process even more. An employee offered to take me at another register however my items were already safely on the conveyor belt and I wasn’t going to reload.

Big mistake.

The shopping cart person had issues with coupons and payment. It took almost as long to pay for the items then it did for the cashier to scan and bag them. I have never seen so many cards being swiped to pay for one transaction, it must have been a complicated transaction, the cashier was careful and the customer watched over her like a hawk protecting its young.

Finally it was my turn. The cashier apologized for the wait and in no time I was on the way back to my sleigh, err, car. The shopping cart person was loading the groceries into their car. Imagining the people dependent upon that person, a smile covered my face. The single life is uncomplicated and so sweet.



Richard
 

Five years ago a purchase was made consisting of two reconditioned air purifiers. It was a two for one deal one that made sense after doing some research. They weren’t state of the art however they weren’t relics either.

I must be a simple fellow because I’m amazed with their performance. Silent running stationary pillars of clean. There is no disillusionment they capture all the dust and dirt in my domicile. Their weekly cleaning yields a great amount of particles meant to do me harm yet I know a few foreign invaders have found their way into my beautiful body.

Today was their detailed cleaning; breaking them down and cleaning as many of their parts as possible. The task isn’t that commanding and is completed in thirty minutes. But the dirt is downright impressive. Sponge rising is required almost after every pass over surfaces. My hands turned black with wet dirt and dust.

Drying the parts and reassembling the purifiers I was certain I heard a faint, “Thank you.” I’m rather sure air purifiers don’t speak but could they be spiritual?




Richard
 

Upset with your representatives in Congress for failing to action addressing the national debt? Send them a letter. It's easy, they all have internet sites and encourage comments. Here is the letter I sent my representatives:


November 22, 2011

Thank you for failing to take responsible action to address the country’s national debt. By not demonstrating leadership and strongly promoting compromise through responsible spending cuts and increasing revenue streams for the federal government you have proven my suspicion that you are unfit for your government leadership position.

Instead of doing the difficult, standing up and doing the right thing for your country, you instead hide behind your political party’s ideology.

Since you are unfit for your government leadership position you should resign immediately. Failing that you should announce you will not seek reelection and donate whatever campaign funds you have secured to charitable organization which will do what you couldn’t; make a positive difference in peoples’ lives.

Sincerely,






Richard