Did the 32oz. test a second time at home, got the same results; called the doctor's office and asked the receptionist (as the nurse wasn't available) for advice on what to do as I did not believe I could manage to wait the hour necessary for the renal ultrasound. She advised me to try a half hour, then, as the ultrasound is the easier of the tests available for this procedure--"But if you find that you absolutely can't hold it in, don't sit there and torture yourself, just go to the bathroom and then tell them they were too late, you couldn't hold it in. Because they're going to be pressing on your bladder during this." She was quite understanding and said many of their patients have this problem. I thanked her and decided to go with this, though I still doubted I could manage.

Well, this morning I planned to leave off going to the bathroom before going to the hospital, then drinking the water once we got there since there would be about a half hour wait (we had to register at 9:45 and the ultrasound was at 10:15), but my urination seemed to be up already so I went again as soon as I got to the hospital, then started drinking the water at 9:45 as we were registering. "I see you're drinking the lovely water," the receptionist or whatever joked as I sat there swilling it down while we presented my proof of insurance and whatnot. We went to radiology and sat to wait. Normally I would just be really uncomfortable after a half hour, but today it was excruciating, probably because I had the regular urine coming along with all this water I drank on top of it. I was getting ready to cry and did not think I could take it, but at last the nurse came out and called me and I went into the ultrasound room. She asked if I'd drunk the water, if my bladder was full, it was pretty obvious it was; asked if I was in pain or just uncomfortable because I had to go, I replied the latter, though IMO, I'd rather be in actual pain than have a full bladder, to me that IS pain, thank you very much. I handle physical pain much better than I handle a full bladder. I'm not kidding. She asked me a few more basic questions about the issue and the problems it's presenting (yet again, "When you go to the bathroom, are you actually urinating a lot, or do you feel like you have to go but very little comes out?"--ugh, how many times do I have to tell them, I AM PEEING FRIGGING BUCKETS, thank you very much), then asked if I knew what I was in there for. I knew it was a renal ultrasound but I honestly have no idea what that's for so I said not really. I don't even remember what she said in response, I was so out of it by then. She said she would ultrasound my bladder, then I could use the bathroom and then she would ultrasound my kidneys, thank God. So I had to lie down and she squirted this hot jelly stuff on me and pressed on my bladder just like the doctor's receptionist had said she would. I just grimaced the entire time. At last she finished that and I went to use the bathroom at the side of the room, it honestly hurt just to get it started, the pressure was so much. Ugh.

She'd said she would ultrasound then to see if I were actually emptying my bladder completely even though they've already established that I am. I think they could get a false...negative...on this or something, because the same thing happens when my issues are acting up--the fluid is moving through my system so fast that by the time I'm done using the bathroom and have exited, more fluid has already built up in my bladder, so even though I'd just emptied it completely, I'm sure that by the time I got back on the table there was more in there. Anyway, I had to lie on my back with my right arm behind my head, then on my left side, then on my back, then on my right side while she did a lot of palpating of my sides. I mostly stared at the ceiling but when on my right side I could see the ultrasound monitor and looked for my kidney. I could barely see anything. It was just this big glowing mess of...mess. How can they make anything out of that? I at last could barely see the outline of what looked like a small kidney shape floating in a sea of static though I can't be sure. The nurse kept pausing the image, typing stuff in, making little dots and arrows and whatnot appear on the ultrasound, then taking another image. It was all quite nonsensical to me, but whatever. I'm sure they won't find anything unusual. She at last finished and I went to the bathroom again and kept that up for the next couple of hours, the end.

Throughout all this all I keep thinking is, Libra is supposed to rule the kidneys, that's their problem area. Not sure to think if that's ironic or just stupid or not.

After that it was so wonderful, my urinating went back almost to normal and my bladder was so much less sensitive than it's been the past couple of days, but it feels twingy again now so...*sigh.* My next meeting with the stupid doctor is next week, he'll probably tell me to cut back on the caffeine and prescribe me some pills that Medicaid won't cover or something equally lovely. I wonder how long I'll have to put up with the urologist before I can move on to the next step, whatever that is. At least this stupid part is over, though I know there will be a lot more equally stupid and unpleasant parts to come. Ma says, just be grateful you don't have kidney stones. I say, I would rather have frigging kidney stones, at least they know what kidney stones are and how to treat them. Go figure I'd have something wrong with me that nobody knows what it even is.

What a lovely exploration of the human urinary system my journal/blog has become.

Anyway, this isn't proofed and I just want to go now, so tar.

 

Oh my God thank God that's over.