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| omni_squirrel/Keev's Notebook |
| This place has been stagnant for a while. I guess that means you're happy. | |
| ||
| Ohai. Haha. Yeaaaaah my WdC account has been dead for awhile... | ||
| It's hard to take me seriously when everyone's justifying my life "He's a smart boy, he's just had to overcome so much strife" Everyone says I'm "smart", I'm a borderline genius! But you know what? I'm an insult to our genus Compliments of intelligence just to keep up my morale To goad me forward like some animal in a corral After a while it kind of loses it appeal I feel like they're lies, and I can't tell what's real Wish I could believe I have a chance But all I have are these trite rants | |
| Weakness I've never done anything That's been worth my time Assorted distractions Rarely earning my dime I've rarely ever stood On my own two feet I've made mistakes And I always repeat I am flawed, broken Of failure I reek I recognize this I see that I'm weak I call to my God Without His power, I quiver But when He calls on me I fail to deliver All I have to may name Is a pocket of wishes To be dealt with later Like a sink full of dishes | |
| Can't help the people I want to help greatest Why would God send me? I am the weakest Can't give strength out While I'm such a mess When I need it most I am powerless I know that God will not do everything for us So don't believe that tired old chorus But when faced with so much challenge before us... I am weak. | |
| I have a confession. The very thought of trying to make friends sets me in such a state of disgust and almost revilement that I can barely function or focus. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy friends, or that I don't enjoy hanging out with them...but making new friends of strangers...is nigh unthinkable. I don't know why. All I know is that, most of the time, I still prefer the company of inanimate objects and ideas than actual human beings. So here's the question...anti- or a- social? | |
| http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080912152442AAMH0tr If you didn't meet new people every now and again you would never have met me, or anyone on here. | |
| Well, I do feel violently towards society sometimes...hmmmm...haha. | |
| Umm. *points down* Wassat about? | |
| No idea. Saw it in my head. I'm not even sure what it means, lol. I just had to write it. | |
| The alarm clock blared in the man ears, waking him from his peace. With a long sigh, he slowly lifted himself up and smacked the insidious device, setting it in silence once again. He sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed his face awake. When we was conscious enough, he stood and began his usual routine. He brushed his teeth, washed his face, showered, combedhis hair heated up some leftover pizza and had what he called "breakfast". Finally, he got up and heated the furnace. | |
| When the glass was sufficiently melted, he grabbed his glassorking cane and scooped up as much of the glass as would hold on to it. Rolling the cane he pulled it out of the furnace and looked at it. Instantly, he saw a piece in his head, and went for it. He blew into the cane to form the part of the bottle that would hold the water, then held the cane vertically so gravity could create a long neck. Slowly, patiently, he spun and blew the bottle into creation, then waited for it to cool totally. | |
| When it was fully cooled, he cleaned the tank and melted some red shards. On the bottle, he made lines from the red glass. With a steady hand, he made uniform, perfect lines that ran down the bottle. When each line was cooled enough, he stood back and looked at his finished product. It had taken hours to complete. He had painstakingly painted the glass onto the bottle to create the striations before him. He held it up to the light. They looked like rays of the red evening sun. | |
| He placed the bottle by the wall and took it's picture with his camera. Taking it in hand once again, he lifted it up to the light. It was a beautiful work of art that took hours to make. For his entire morning he had worked to spin, blow, and paint this bottle into creation. He had poured his heart and soul into it. This bottle, this glass...was the culmination of his entire morning. He lifted it high, as if lifting his brainchild in pride. Then he smashed it to the ground. | |
| Followed that youtube link in your bio. Gave me chills, that one. In Texas, if it's a fizzy beverage, it's called coke. (though most Texans like DrPepper) | |
| Well, actually, League of Legends isn't an RPG, haha. It's...well, it's unique, lol. The best thing I can do is say "It's a 'MOBA', like DotA" and tell you to Google it. Sorry! And yeah, saw that. A couple of my cousins are/were big into that game. Looked...interesting, lol. Although, I do have to dig the puns. Haven't gone on a pun rampage in awhile...I really have to work on that. | |
| A 'pun rampage' . Please give me copyright permission to use that. Yeah, some days I can't help but point out every ridiculous thing in the world. Unfortunately, with my occasionally dark sense of humor, here's how it usually goes over: Me:  My amigos:   Me:  | |
| Haha, anyone can pun rampage. A quick successive burst of puns = pun rampage. And to be honest, I got it from a little webtoon called "Homestarrunner", namely Strongbad Emails. They didn't have a "pun rampage", but...well, whaturvs, haha. | |
| To answer your e-mail from way long ago. I didn't delete my blog, I just removed the link because I didn't think it was very good. Kind of a crisis of craft, if you will. So, yeah. Also: *return notebook poke* | |
| Oh, aight. Well, it's your blog. And that poke was to strike up another semi-conversation! D:< Lol :P. | |
| So I woke up today in Michigan... Now I'm in Ohio... And in a few more hours, I'll be in Texas! Haha. That's right, I'm flying! <.< >.> It may be weird to some that I've never flown commercially before. As a newbie flyer, I say: this is awesome! XD! | |
| Aww! I miss you too! | |
| *"I hate bugs -.- Not to mention, the company is awesome! Haha." I...did not hate the company, trust me, not in the least 0.o. Just realized how that looked. DX!! I hate not being able to edit stuff in my notebook! DX!! | |
| Dang typos...just because I was in intense sensory overload and my thoughts were disconnected >.<. Well...it's Tuesday, and here I am at home. It's one of the few times in my life where...I didn't want to leave the travel destination. I didn't want to go home. I'm really glad I got to go on the trip...what a great way to end my high school days! Visit my best friend, go random places and get a ton of experience...wow. And I miss you, Scribe :). Can't wait to do it again >u<! | |
| Just in case, I'm telling you not to worry about it. So, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. | |
| Took the A+ exam. Passing score: 69% My score: 67% DAAAAAANG! Haha. Well, pretty good for not focusing on it. | |
| two days | |
<.< >.> http://nyan.cat/ | |
| (just a clarification, minutes ago I was feeling awesome and almost hyper. Thus, the nyan cat.) And now I'm sitting here writing about it instead of actually doing work and learning. For half of the year I've "worked" on getting my Security+ certification...and guess what? Not even halfway through it. Soon I may take an A+ certification test, and I'll most likely fail it. Why? Because instead of studying for it, here I am, screwing around again. | |
| wow...where the heck did all of this come from? Angry at self...and it's almost too late to change...even if I felt the drive to do so... | |
| First of all, it's not too late. It may seem like you're a little behind. So what? Beating yourself up about it is a waste of time. If you want to get this certification, and you decide that you're going to do it, there's a good chance you can. It's not going to be easy, because of the way you spent your semester, but you can get it done. | |
| Care to explain that last one, or are those thoughts to private for a public notebook? | |
| And then, of course, that last part is worrying about people that I'd be leaving behind, rare opportunities I'd miss. Opportunities that I may or may not ever find. Not to mention every time I seem to think something, politically or socially, it's supposedly wrong, or callous, or evil, or ignorant, all that sort of thing. No matter how right I think I am. Meh, I was in a hermit-ish mood when I wrote it. | |
| Or, possibly, just this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthropophobia | |
| *too .../wrists | |
| The boy looked on into the room of screaming people, all yelling at each other, stating that this person was wrong for thinking that, or they were wrong for believing this. In fact, everything the boy knew or thought was being ridiculed, mocked, and jabbed at. He was accused of being everything from a sexist to a murderer, though he knew he was none of those things. Or was he? He soon began to question. He dragged his foot back behind him while still staring into the room. | |
| The boy's eyes were frantic and opened wide. His heart was beating fast. He was sweating and breathing heavily. He was in near panic when the voice interrupted his escape. He didn't reply, he only kept backing up. "Please, don't go! You haven't even said anything yet." Why should he say anything? Everything he said would be wrong in their eyes. Then they'd show him why, he'd realize how wrong he was, and he'd usually end up feeling bad for how he thought. He knew the cycle. | |
| He took more steps backward. It was getting easier...it started feeling better. Each step gave him that elusive feeling that what he was doing was good, was right. They didn't need him anyway, right? It's not like they'd listen to him anyway, right? Even if he could contribute, they wouldn't let him. He couldn't take it anymore...the noise, the hate, the anger was unbearable! Finally, he turned around, walked out the door, and didn't look back. | |
| She stood there with her arm out towards where the boy had left for some time. She never got the chance to talk with him, never got the chance to know him or see what he thought about anything. She never got to see his mind, however right or wrong, for what it was truly worth. She held back a sob, mourning the loss of a potential friend, and returned to the world that had driven him out with their hatred, hoping that he might be strong enough to come back some day. | |
| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WByqPqwBrzs&feature=related Diablo 3 trailers! Yus! And this one has to be the most awesome of all the trailers they've released. One problem, though...don't have a supercomputer yet. Aaaaand that's why I'm job searching now. Definitely need that paycheck, and soon. | |
| Oh, and while I'm at it, lol. http://imgur.com/gallery/R4xSL | |
| All right, well, it finally happened, and everyone's talking about it. So I guess it's time, now, to post my thoughts on it. After years of searching, we finally found him in his compound and killed him. Osama Bin Laden is dead. You might be expecting what comes next. In your head, you might think I'll revel in his death, and play up America's power and determination. Comments like "Yeah! The SEALS popped him in the face, woohoo! We killed him! Jerkoff, God bless America, don't screw with us!" | |
| No. That's not what's going to happen here, even though a part of me feels that way. We killed him. Let him die, and respect the dead. We should NEVER revel in killing each other. As bad as Bin Laden may have been, he was STILL our brother. He was a fellow human being, not a beast to be slain. True, he may have had a part in or performed demonic actions, but humanity is capable of such atrocities. They're still human, like us, and God loves them too (as hard as that may be to believe by some). | |
| Look...my point is, he died. That's that. Do not celebrate it. Do not regret it. Do not curse him. Do not curse the US military. It. Is. Done. May your judgment be swift and lenient. May we all come to forgive you for the terrible deeds you have taken part in, and may you come to accept our Heavenly Father in your next life. Rest in peace, brother. | |
| Meh, removed a post. Don't want to keep such negative stuff up top for too long. I'ma try and keep this a happier place...try. :S | |
| "Why are you here?!" "I'm here because I'm bored!" "Never forget that!" Lol. "This clock is going to keep ticking until it reaches 9:99!" "What happens then?" "Nothing. You just suck." | |
| I...am not any good. And this time, I think I know it. I make so many mistakes, I'm not strong or smart enough to help the people that matter, and I can't help myself. I have no willpower. Haha, what a contrast from the last post. Well, I...I know that God has a plan. I just have to believe that it will work out for everyone...I just can't stand the waiting!! | |
| I can't even remember things that are IMPORTANT TO ME!! Can't even remember to FAST!! Can't remember to bring my BOOK HOME to STUDY!! Don't even WANT to study, so I DON'T! I'm FREAKING LAZY, and I just don't care. I can't help anyone else. I can't even help myself. I'm just a burden, and a heavy one at that. Time to go not work. | |
| This is not true. It's a phase we all go through called senioritis. Trust me, I'm an expert, both on senioritis and sucking. | |
| Just: :) :) and ^.^ and -u- | |
| Oh, but I DO hate public restrooms -.-. I don't know how it is on the female end of things, obviously, but I just saw two guys come in, do their business, then walk out. No flushing. No hand washing. Gross. | |
| 1) Why were you so happy? 2)Gross. | |
| Mm...this girl I know and I were talking, and she's awesome. | |
| Ok, I'm in a German metal mood. So guess what I found? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4eM2Ha-j8s Looking of videos for League of Legends. Yeah, I'm really liking this song, actually. | |
| Yup. Happened again. The mere mention of college and a dance has completely destroyed my mood. Something's wrong. Why does the slightest mention of those topics put me down? Why does it destroy my will to continue? My theory is because I don't understand it. But maybe that's not it. Maybe it's because it means I'll have to grow up, and I don't know where to go. Maybe it's because I wasn't going on a mission. Maybe it's because I have so much paperwork up the butt that I'm choking on it. | |
| Point: Not happy. | |
| YAY!!! Today I have passed the "practice Network+ exam"! I am now quietly celebrating to myself up in my head. But in my head, there's confetti everywhere, and it's going to take forever to clean up after. Also, planning on setting a time to take the actual exam sometime. In the meanwhile, I will continue to take the exam to keep myself fresh. Just felt like sharing/bragging, lol. | |
| Haha. Did you ever get around to scheduling that? | |
| Nope. Both parents were sick, so I couldn't set a date for them to drive me to Troy. They're getting better, though, so now I can pick a date...if I still know all my networking crap. Bleh, the brain sucks, haha. | |
| http://imgur.com/gallery/KfkJS Excellent points. My feelings almost exactly. | |
| Anon So many of us wish to make a name for ourselves...to build ourselves up, and be in positions of power. We wish that we were famous, we wish we were the person everyone wishes they were. We wish we were idols, gods to ourselves. I do not. While others wish to build themselves up, I wish to conceal myself; to disappear. To hide behind a wall of anonymity...to be free. I wish I could be part of a group to which I could lose my identity...and gain a new one. A new face. | |
| An odd thing about these groups...they make a name for the group, while the members lose their individuality. It is a choice they make. However one could say that they keep their individuality to a degree, but they become blissfully selfless as a whole. To fill this void of identity, they cease to become "me", and then become "we". We wish to hide from responsibility, from obligations. However, we devote ourselves to the whole, and wish for its, and by extension our, well being. | |
| So we uphold the group. We make a good example for it, for we are it, and it is who we are. One in the same. A communal identity...haha. There are those who would call me crazy. Perhaps they are right. | |
| Read 1984. That is all. | |
| Take it. http://www.okcupid.com/tests/the-which-lolcat-are-you-test | |
| http://www.okcupid.com/results/the-which-lolcat-are-you-test/?var_Excitabil... 12&var_Affection=2&var_Felinity=0&fromCGI=1&var_Hunger=14 and if that doesn't work, apparently I got "sad cookie cat", but those questions were confuzzling :S. | |
| You know how some songs have absolutely amazing music, the intro starts, you love it, you're rocking out to it... and then they start singing? And it's the F-bomb there, and the S-missile here, and on top of that, the lyrics just suck? Undead, by Hollywood Undead is one of those songs. Luckily, there is an Instrumental! Boring to some, awesome to me. ESPECIALLY as background music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-MbyRCUDNQ | |
| I see that you are online. This thingy mabobber may be lying, but if not, what's up, brah? | |
| Was online, until 12:39. Must've missed you, dang :(. Ah well, that's what we have IM for :P. lol. | |
| I want to CLIMB SOMETHING!!! I wanna run, jump something, climb something, jump off of something, then climb something again. I feel like everything's going half a mile an hour, and I just wanna RUUUUUUNNNN!!!! Freakin' snow, if it weren't everywhere, I'd definitely be having more fun. I'd drive into town just looking for a place, or heck, I'd just climb a tree or five!! I don't know where it came from, maybe from listening to fast music, but I'm going absolutely nuts sitting in this chair!!!!! | |
| Totally was, lol. Again, I actually got people to believe that I was on drugs. You know, because it's impossible to act weird and have fun without drugs or alcohol. *Rolls eyes*. Doesn't help that my eyes are always bloodshot. Ah well, people will believe what they want to believe. | |
| True enough. I was hyper one day, and I had a metal water bottle with me in class (I cheated and filled it with Hawaiian Fruit Punch). She asked me if I'd be drinking. Lol. You know me, the drunkard. | |
| Oh cheah, Secret Scribe, boozing it up :P. lol. Meh, they can't accept that people can be weird and have tons of fun without substances. Their loss, their crutch, their whatnot. | |
| No way. There's just no way a nineteen year old wrote this. I couldn't even finish it. http://quizilla.teennick.com/stories/17807150/emo-love-story-2 | |
| Didn't make it past the first paragraph. Wow. There is nothing I could say to describe that. I wonder if they actually speak that way...because that would be sad. That almost physically hurt me. I hope you're happy (XP). | |
| I needed someone to suffer with me. And to confirm what was going on. I had hope that maybe my eyes deceived me. | |
| Well, they didn't, unfortunately. Just Wow | |
| Ok, I had a run in with death today. Not with industrial machinery, not with cars, not with vikings, but with the most deadly foe of all.. Peanuts. Haha, ok, just wanted the dramatic effect. Apparently I'm not actually deathly allergic to nuts, but they'll put me in the hospital. However, I had a stronger reaction today. This was all started because some funny (in the head) kid shoved a peanut butter cookie in my mouth. BEWARE THE FUNNY (in the head) KIDS!! They'll sneak up on you! | |
| Yeah. I freaked out the secretaries, though, lol. "Hey, do you guys have my Epi-Pen?" "Uhh...no?" "Oh...I should really do that." I feel bad for the other guy, though. I mean, he almost killed me :P. lol. | |
| Was there some sort of reaction? | |
| A very slight one. There was a bit of resistance to breathing, but I still could. Good sign. There was no itching, no inflammation, nothing. So it's all good. | |
| Haha, I still feel like that sometimes, too. But I've had it clarified and explained to me. I misread things, I jumped to conclusions, and I made assumptions. It's something I'm working on...maybe I can get some help. I'm sorry I ever held on to doubt. In time, I hope, I can lose it and be truly free around you. | |
| I'd say that some doubt is healthy, almost necessary. I don't know exactly how to phrase it, but you can rely on someone, trust them and believe in them without putting all your faith in the abilities of one person. That initial doubt will help you avoid some stupid investments. Just be careful of allowing it to overcome your judgment. It is a part of you evaluation, but it should not be the sole contributor to your final decisions. | |
| mm...I think I know what you're getting at, but I'm not totally sure. I'll keep working on it, though. I guess I agree, it should be part of, but not solely, my deciding force. | |
| And yet... You hold on to our conversations As if they were a treasure dear You still have my pictures It should be crystal clear But some stupid part of me Cannot let go of fear I should drop the details. | |
| I know that I'm self-centered I think everything's about me So I can't help but think that When I read your poetry You say I make you happy You say I bring you hope But how could I possibly Hold you up with this frayed rope? I try to take your word for it Believe everything you say But I'm trying to pick up subtle hints Read between the lines everyday I'm needy and fragile And I hate being that way Every time you say I help It totally makes my day | |
That "fact" is untrue Because all I want is you But I would rather hear the truth, no matter how painful and hard, than a beautiful lie. I worry too much... | |
| I wanted to be your safe haven A place you could be at peace But now I feel so inadequate I guess I was just a tease... Now I feel like I've failed you Made you bleed from another pore That I've somehow let you down Closed an open door I've never been able to help The way you said I did I thought I was a bigger man But I'm just a little kid I thought I did alright But it's not my thought that counts I feel like I'm not quality But severe and critical discount | |
| I tried to play the hero For I am a son of Zion! I tried to be a shoulder That instead you could cry on But instead I have become A naive and childish pretender I'm a failure for you I could not be Your secondary savior I couldn't be your hero But I pray that someone can I beg of God he give you Someone to hold your hand All my blessing upon you impart May curses completely tear me apart If I have played any tiny part In causing pain in your golden heart | |
| Ok, bored, escaping work. >.> <.< shhhhhh. | |
| I am feeling especially lazy today. I do not want to work...at ALL. AT ALL. I hate feeling like this because I KNOW I have to work, at least eventually, but I REALLY don't want to. It's almost life and death, here. >.> <.< GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
| What happened to trying again later? Haha. =P | |
| hmm...no idea, haha. Postponed indefinitely :P. Until I feel it, I guess? | |
| GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is difficult. Scream every now and then. | |
| Ok, for those males (and maybe...a few...estrogen-challenged females) who may happen upon my notebook...does anyone else, while shaving, draw exaggerated mustaches on their face with shaving cream and try and talk in funny voices? Or is...that just me 0.o? | |
| Facial hair is not required to play with shaving cream. I don't usually have that particular medium. Any kind of bubbles will work. Have you ever blown a bubble using your hand while you're washing them? | |
| Ehh, true, I guess. I just have more of an excuse :P. lol. No, I must say I haven't. May have tried once or twice, but never succeeded. | |
Found another post-apoc guy for ya. Atreyus   His stuff is intense, though. Just a heads up. | |
| I figured you'd enjoy it. I was reading Dying to Love, and it got to be too much. I'll admit to skipping to the end. It was well written, but not my type of story. I knew someone who would enjoy it though. ;P | |
| Oi, just read that one. SUCK ENDING!! Tell me, why are all women dying in zombie infestations? I mean, in Left 4 Dead there was Zoey, in L4D 2 there was Rochelle, but...I mean, that's 1 in 4 survivors! What happened to the almost 50/50 population gender spread!? Girls everywhere, I beg you, prepare for the zombie invasion! lol :P. | |
| It's called pathos. Nuf said. =P | |
| Allow me to vent again: I have just learned that the developer of one of my newfound favorite games, Minecraft, had the official Minecraft website attacked by angry players. Players. The people who bought the game dirt cheap. In it's alpha stage of development. These people are the most ungrateful, disrespectful, impatient, arrogant piles of disgusting refuse I have ever heard of. They brought his website down, VIA a DDoS attack for you networking people, for a week. | |
| Donate!? 0.o Ok, Brian, take a step back from the wallet...and think about this, ok? Deep breath...exhale...good...now do you still want to donate? ...yes. A little. I'll just have to make money. | |
| Don't feel bad. Some of those people are limited to such infantile responses, and because of it they will get nowhere in life. Why? Because you are not the only person who does not like them. In fact, no one likes them. Theoretically, they could team up and like each other, but they're trolling each other too, so potential friendships are destined for glorious failure. Sit back. Kick up your feet, and enjoy the show from higher ground. | |
| Bad? Naw. Angry? Yeah. Plus? Could've only been one person posing as "we", seeing as how it was a "distributed" attack ("bots" hijack other computers and use them to attack the server). Either way, they still suck, whoever they are. Still wanna donate, a bit. Kinda like how I want to donate to Riot because LoL is free, and I would pay for it anyway. So, I'm going to get some Riot points, eventually. Yay! | |
| My time to vent. I walked into CTM today, confident and bent on passing a practice test over networking. I had memorized port numbers all day yesterday. I answered the questions like nothing. SMTP uses port 25, HTTP uses 80, NTP - 123, NNTP - 119. Then the questions got harder. I didn't remember a dang thing. I spent all of my class time on this practice test... just to fail by %1. ONE PERCENT! GRAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHHHHAHAHAHAH!!!! -= Connection lost =- -= Attempting to reconnect... =- | |
| That...must have been incredibly frustrating. I kinda feel like I should have noticed this earlier. Hrmph. Well, on the bright side it was only practice...right? | |
| Yup. Went back and passed with an 88% (passing is %80)! So, I am forgiving...it. | |
| http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWjMMJR0_wk This song makes me want to punch someone in the face. In a good way. | |
| I feel like I should write something 0.o. Like, I haven't written anything super deep in awhile. I'm feeling kinda lost XD! I mean, I know you can't have super-deep, thought provoking ideas everyday, buuuut...I mean, it's like the dry season, now. I had some really funny stuff happen today, and recently, but I'm already starting to forget them. It's amazing what I can forget, really. Especially when I've got a good game rented, or something to do. Or anytime, really, lol. | |
| I started carrying a notebook with me everywhere I go about a year ago. Whether it's funny, or deep or just my bored desperation, I always have a place to write my thoughts. (It's gotten me through some really boring classes too ;D) | |
| XD. I actually remember her, but it's been awhile. Love the whole cold shoulder/wind bit. | |
| Is Nowhere a real place, because if it is it's the greatest place name ever. "Excuse me officer, where is the nearest rest stop?" "Nowhere." "Guess I'll just crap in this bucket then..." | |
| Like Atlanta, Georgia :P | |
| If I die, I'm coming to find you first. And everybody wants to go to ATL. I meant somewhere in failboat, Texas. | |
| Ahhh, ok, lol. Aight, fine, somebody wants to go to ATL, but only because someone lives there :P. | |
| Sorry. I had a friend looking over my shoulder. I think...I think I just need to get out of my room more. I'll e-mail you again later, when I'm not in her room anymore. Until next time, Secret (That's starting to sound kind of cool =P) | |
| Oi, hate that. My bro does that all the time, and he'll start reading what's on the screen. UGH! There's no privacy -.- | |
| Ikr!? I mean, she started reading it out loud! Geez. Of course, after I sent you my abridged version, she walked away and said she'd give me a few minutes to "finish up." -_- | |
| I'm performing tonight! I'll get on later. | |
| Awww...sadfaic. Aight, well, I'll see you then, then. | |
| 0.o I...I did it. I read all of them...in one day. OMHGUH! *goes to do the studying she was blatantly neglecting* | |
| 0.o Vereh naic XD! 'Course you had a head start on me XD! So you just sat down and read them all that night? *jealous* | |
| And thus, instead of learning, I have defeated it as well! All the way through 340. Yay!! Now I can add another web-comic to my follow list! ...and wait impatiently for, lol. ...I probably should've learned something today XD! | |
| http://fanboys-online.com/index.php?comic=102 Aaaaaand, handle change? | |
| XD! Hey...hey Anakin...you just got punked. WHAT!! No way!! Yes way! Totally! Oh, man! So these third degree burns are fake? No, no those are real. ... XD!! Yeah, it's Veteran's day, and I couldn't think of anything clever...so I just went with this. | |
| Actually, you know what? That webcomic is awesome 0.o | |
| So I re-found this journal that was supposed to be used for spiritual and gospel thoughts. However, I have mused about using it for more...nefarious purposes. For spewing my hate into, so that I do not spew it into the world. An outlet for my anger, frustration...for my eyes only, as opposed to this public notebook. And, heck, maybe a doodle or two. Oh yeah, and I broke my headphones again. GAHH! That's the problem with keeping them in your backpack. Also starting a fake journal of a hermit. | |
| Wasn't the headphone's fault, I have to admit, lol. Was me throwing them on the ground with about two pounds of stuff on top of it. PLASTIC, now PLASTIC sucks... And...not really, actually. This guy (me) buys some land in a third world country, and starts building a whole facility out in the middle of nowhere. I started it up, but now I have to plan out my fall into insanity...or, "official" insanity. I'm thinking the internet connection breaks, along with my only means of transportation. | |
| Ooh! Fun fun. You could have it cut out come winter, just when the pass between the moutains gets blocked up with snow, or the beginning of spring when the melting snow floods the river and traps him on his land >=D | |
| Hmm...but what third-world country would that be in? ...Canada? XD. Kidding. Hmm...should plan this out some more. | |
| DOH!! I had my WDC costume on for four days after Halloween. Oops. Well, just a reminder to everyone as forgetful as me, change outta your costume! lol. | |
| So I heard something to the effect of "Sugar can boost your willpower". I wonder if that's true...if so, that'd really help me out! I definitely need a boost every now and again! Maybe I could finally start excersizing...or fix my computer...or do my homework XD! Gahhhh I hate homework...soooo much. I'd rather have quizzes everyday. I can handle quizzes. "Here are the questions, answer them." instead of "Here are the questions, take them home, do them instead of what you want to do, see ya!". | |
| Ugh, *exercising | |
| Woah, dude. Just...woah. That was intense. Are you saving these somewhere? You really should. I'm gonna stop before I start repeating myself, but I reeeeaaaaally like this. I wonder what it would be liked if the people in my head took turns talking to me. An interesting thought. That aside, you should save this somewhere so you can look back on it in another year and think about how far you've gone from this day. Very cool. | |
| Haha. Try having twenty-three "you"s besides yourself. It get's crazy. Sometimes some of them start fighting. Other times some of them just act childishly as refuse to speak. SOME of them are in love with each other and spend their time engaged in...other activities. It's crazy. And that's only the beginning of it. | |
| Haha, ok, you win. I just have a bunch of people that look like me =P. I think it'd be weird if two of me were in love 0.o. Might be awkward, for ALL of us...XP. | |
| True. But yours are all one gender. I've got 'em both in my head. It's crazy in here. | |
| I...I thought I was right here. I definitely saw myself right here. I was a socially-confused gamer who wasn't sure of himself or what he was...what he felt. He was right he--I was right here. What happened? Am...am I still here? I feel like something's different...something's...not the same. Better? Worse? Neither, just different. But what is it? I'm not playing games as much, I guess, though I still do on occasion. I don't play as wide a variety... Every year it''s...I'm different. | |
| "Ok, you know what?" I start. "Life isn't pain. Or at least it shouldn't be. What was that scripture...'Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy'." "Second Nephi, chapter 2, verse 25." Intelligence stated. "But what kind of joy? The joy that they lay out before you? What if it's not you?" Emo whined. "Ok, you're not helping." I said, draining the sink. Emo soon sank away to nothingness. | |
| "You know what? I have to stop this, this has just been too weird, and I don't think it's helped at all." I said. "It helped you with one thing." Intelligence stated. "And what is that?" "Boredom." He laughed. "You're bored, so you're coming up with something crazy and mildly amusing to pass the time." "Well...maybe I was looking for a bit more than just passing time. I want help, but obviously you...I can't help myself. The hard part is finding where I can find myself...I'm done, guys." | |
| "Done with what?" Apathy asked. "Sorry, I wasn't listening." "Yeah, I stopped listening awhile ago." Arrogance stated. "I'm done with you guys. I'm done talking to you...me...whatever!" "Fine, man, I can tell when I'm not wanted! I don't need to talk to you!" Arrogance stormed off the edge of the mirror. "You coming, Apathy?" "Whatever, man." Apathy walked out of his mirror. Intelligence lingered a bit longer. "I'll be fine, go ahead. I just need to be alone." Intelligence faded, and then quiet. | |
| I have an interfaith prayer dinner to attend. Don't know when I'll be back. Just letting you know. K. Bye! | |
| Awww, man :(. Alright, then I'll send an email. Hope to see you sometime soon! | |
| I know! SUper sadfaic. Maybe I'll find a way to get on later tonight, but I won't be able to IM because it won't be my computer. OMGUH! NO COMPUTER ALL WEEKEND!!! What am I going to do with my life?! | |
| TRIPLE dangit 0.o. Mega suck >.<. Well...I guess we'll be back to emailing then. That's cool. I'll try and take some pictures. I was offline from about 6 - 8:30 at this "haunted barn" thing. I'm dressed in my costume right now. I stood in a corner and FREAKED people out XD! Made a kid drop his stuff, lol! So, successful haunted house :). So you won't have a computer ALL weekend? | |
| I've spent almost all of my life learning how to kill...how to end a life, and how to survive...and now that I mix words, and I speak to someone I actually care about other than myself, a deep and emotional conversation, I wish that I had spent my entire life learning how to heal...physically...and more importantly, emotionally...the important things. I've wasted my life already...set my sights on material, and temporary goals. Truly, I have overlooked the severely important issues. | |
| What if those were the final words the last message you wrote? What if the end of all conversation was a scathing, hurtful joke? What if that was the final thought a long and silent end? A painful thought, irreparable wrongs that you can't amend. The silence stabs my heart because I think that it was me. Paranoia and remorse buzz around my head, completely free. And now, the wait, the long suspense to wither in my grief. Wishing, ever wishing that the pain be only brief... | |
| HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMIGO DE MI CORAZON!!! Picture me singing this with all my might!!! But not too loud. XD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O7K9AwR6Vo So that it makes sense: http://gomexico.about.com/od/historyculture/qt/mananitas.htm The oretically I'm posting this at exactly midnight so I'm one of the first to wish you happy birfdae!!! | |
| Hey! Don't say that! Your birth was a blessing and every moment after has been the same. Don't ever doubt it. | |
| Well, I don't doubt it now, but that accomplishment means a bit more than most of what I do =P. | |
| There's no garauntee I even PASSED the test, let alone aced it. Don't get all down on your life, hijito. | |
| To anyone who stops by this Notebook, I issue this warning: This person is absolutely amazing. You may be stunned by his brilliance, so be careful or your face may get stuck in a permanent state of awe. You have been warned. | |
| Two days ago it had been a month since I first talked to you. Just thought that was cool. | |
| Darrr, You caught me >.<. My apologies, I slipped up. I'll pillage and plunder extra hard to make up for it! Hahaharr, the entire drive to church I was practicing my voice, and I barely used it thar XD. Well, of course I wouldn't when reverance was required, but when I was speakin' to me family I made sure to make a point of it XD. Methinks I do a pretty fine Barbossa :D. Hahaharr! | |
| Darrr >.<. Many mistakes in that thar writing. Perhaps I best practice some more. | |
| XD It's totally cool. I can't tell anyway, I don't speak pirate. | |
| Yo ho, me hearties! Tomorrow be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, so wet your whistles with the finest rum, or the saltiest grog, and plunder and pillage away! If ye lanlubbing scalawags need help in yer speech, then go ahead and navigate the treacherous link before you. http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howto.html Remember, take what ye can, an' give nuthin' back! Let me hear you ARRRRR!!!!! | |
| His name is sickness An unfortunate guy Everything he has Withers and dies He watches people As they pass him by No one cares When he starts to cry Anyone can see he's sick Pain's written on his face It seems his only purpose is To infect the human race He plagues ten people's lives With every piteous sneeze Nothing is as pathetic as The boy with the disease | |
| He's had no close friends A morbid must Neither his friends Nor himself can he trust He's had this curse Upon him thrust His golden heart Soon turns to dust Anyone can see he's sick Pain's written on his face It seems his only purpose is To infect the human race He plagues ten people's lives With every piteous sneeze Nothing is as pathetic as The boy with the disease | |
| A cure on the horizon What could it be? Could it really Set him free? Does it truly Hold the key? Her voice reverses His destiny Anyone can see he's sick Pain's written on his face It seems his only purpose is To infect the human race He plagues ten people's lives With every piteous sneeze Nothing is as pathetic as The boy with the disease | |
| http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=170335550077595599# It's not a short clip, but if you get a chance, please watch it. It's fantastic. Even if you're not big on Shakespeare. | |
| That...was HILARIOUS!!! ROFL!! Seriously, at the puppet show scene, my bro and I laughed until I COULDN'T BREATHE!!! "Ohh, whoahh....Oh the wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!" XD That was awesome, thanks for the share!!! ROFLMAO!!! | |
| Gah! There are so many fantastic moments I can't pick one to quotes! Yes mother...father...uncle...whatever the heck you are... XD lol. Did your brother like it? | |
| XD. Yeah, he was right with me. I had to leave the room and flop on the couch XD. Sorry it's taking me a long time to reply. That is a LONG email, lol. | |
| The boy was jolted awake by the rusty, cast-iron chains on his wrists. He tried to wriggle his hands and the sandpaper-like shackles scratched him. Strong as he was, he couldn't break them, and he was too big to even hope to slide out of them. "Awake, now?" A cold, sinister voice emanated from around the boy. To him, it felt like it was coming from inside him. "Leave me alone." he demanded. | |
| The electricity rippled through his body, but a strength not of his own filled his being. He was empowered like he'd felt only once before: when he'd been free. Caveman's voice became worried, desperate, but the boy didn't hear him. He could only hear the girl's voice in his head...it sang, and it was beautiful...but it was also a slave, and in pain. The weakness in his knees left. His arms no longer weighed him down. Only the chains were left. Those annoying chains... | |
| He flexed his arm, and he could hear cracking noises. He tried his other arm, and he felt it give a little. "NO!" Caveman screamed. "You are mine!" "Wrong, Caveman..." The boy said, slowly, powerfully. "I am my own, and my Father's. And I am hers." "This girl again...what's so special about her? She'll tear you down again, you know it and she knows it. She'll be the death of you, and she'll lead you right back here." The boy laughed, an indignant and mocking laugh. | |
| "You never could understand, Caveman...you never could. I hope, for your sake, that you do understand someday." With a force magnified by some unseen power, the boy began to pull on the chains that tethered him to the ground. The cracking and creaking soon turned to a loud snap! "You'll never escape, I OWN you!" Caveman screamed. Excited, the boy ripped the second chain from the ground as Caveman screamed a primal, beast-like cry. | |
| I had a "cool" moment in school today XD. Ok, I synchronize my watch to the school's bells. I get them ON the dot, with a little bit of adjusting every day. Anyway, keep that in mind, we were setting up to leave in my third hour, and someone said something to the effect of "When are we leaving?" I looked down at my watch, and said "now". IMMEDIATELY after, the bell rang. I felt SO AWESOME!! Lol! I played it off real cool too, like "yeah, I'm cool". XD. | |
| Outside the physical world, I lie In that dark, unspoken realm. Few have dared to venture here Without competence at the helm. Nothing can reach me, I am safe From all those who would do harm. I make a living with my thoughts, Ideas and dreams, I farm. I am not of the physical world, Though occasionally I do visit. Though every time, I must say I lose a bit of me in transit. | |
| XD Love! | |
| For any of those random notebook perusers out there who may have just now stumbled upon my notebook, the below string of poetry was from a folder I had in school. It wasn't for a class, or anything, I just got the inspiration and followed it through. | |
| Youth should not fear the future They should have no despair, But we are smarter than you think; Terror fills the air We can delude ourselves no longer, We cannot just pretend That it'll be alright tomorrow It'll work out in the end. Fate mocks us every turn A terrible, caustic curse, And the only solace we have Is that tomorrow will be worse. That's why we live for today Because who knows about tomorrow? It might bring joy and happiness, But mostly it brings sorrow. | |
| I cannot fully express how Odd I feel How incredibly wrong and out of place. I never seem to fit or work within This shifting, misshapen space. Others, I see, move smoothly through The machine like a polished gear. Sometimes I wish I could follow them But I would lose myself, I fear. I am what I am, I've said before And I'll say it again tomorrow. I will not lose my identity; Other's go where I cannot follow. | |
| We believe our body is ours You think your mind is yours We feel safe in this false belief That to our body we're the only chief Foolish ignorance, with heavy cost When rage accosts Control is lost Slowly quietly, your mind slips Fight it! Stay in control! Then your body starts to twitch Fight it! Stay in control! It's ineveitable, you can't resist A lie! Stay in control! Then your perception starts to mist And you've lost control... | |
| One day this world will fall And mankind will lose it all What voices used to fill these halls Will be gone, no laughter, no singning, no calls Your towers that once stood proud and tall Will, on the ground, lay sprawled Nature will, your existence, recall And you'll crumble beneath your iron walls | |
| GAHHHH, typo! And I can't edit it :( Oh well, you get what I mean. | |
| Hey, sweet! I dug up my old artsy folder! There's some interesting stuff in there...Not sure if any of it is less than 500 chars, but I'll try and post some of it here. Wish me luck :D. | |
| Because this is necessary for your life. {link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp9Gm-aRe5A} | |
| Lol! Title alone betrays its awesomeness. Watching it... ROFL!! That is awesome! How did you chance upon this? | |
| My friend sent it to me a few years ago, and it turned into a running joke for a couple of months. A few days ago he randomly snet it to me again. XD | |
| Are my emotions real? Are they even the right ones? How many times have I been confused by what I felt? How many times has my mind had to intervene because my heart got carried away? And how many times has my heart made me its slave...I want to own myself, control myself, my desires, my emotions but...I can't. I try. I try and I try again. Each time met with failure Samuel Beckett once said: Try. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. If only I could fail better. I cannot learn from myself | |
| I do not think that granting your heart freedom is a bad thing, it could be worse. You could be one like me, one so wrapped up in her mind that she can no longer feel what her heart does. That can no longer enjoy the beauty of a situation without the pros and cons, cost and reward, slipping in to ruin the moment. Who frets and worries about friends and relationships she may not be good enough for, might disappoint in , might fail at... It's better to fly and pull back than to be ever grounded. | |
| My heart lies to me. It tells me I feel what I don't. It tells me to feel something I know is wrong. It tricks me into things that I shouldn't do. It is a liar, a deceiver, and I hate that it tries to overshadow my own conscious thought. | |
| Well, you can't just listen to your heart alone. Whoever said that was a crack-knobbed looby. God gave you both a mind and a heart, so use them both. One tempers the other, and when the connection between the two is made, it can be wonderful. But beware the mind, ever critical and wary, it judges, it lies, it creates hatred an d malice, but it can still be fantastic. Beware the heart, so easily influenced by the moment, and blindly dedicated 'til it's doom. Alone, neither one is enough. | |
| I...am...weak. In mind, body, and spirit I am weak. I've given up so many times. I've regained hope countless times. I've lost my mind innumerable times. My will is not my own...I am a slave...to myself. To my monster. My beast. Myself. My thoughts are not my own. They are merely the result of my upbringing, my emotions, and my life. I cannot control them. They control me. I've vowed never to suicide. But is it really worth it? What am I here to learn? Life is pain. I know this. | |
| Besides, you are far from weak. Your mind is exquisite and your spirit, something that will take forever to learn about, is something that ebbs and flows, can grow and strengthen. You have been wonderfully made and to tell yourself differently is a travesty. You and I are both what we have let the world make us, but we know that now. So we can change it, make ourselves anew, sculpt from the scraps of what we once were, something we have always wished to become. Whatever that may be. | |
| Scrolling through the comments and trying to pick which ones to delete...and happened on this. I'm not sure I've properly thanked you for this. I really appreciate your compliments. Really. Thank you. | |
| Scrolling again, haha. Even then, I don't think that was proper :P. You're amazing, by the way. | |
| Darn it, I hate bad feelings. Self-loathing, paranoia, frustration, AH!! Curse the human condition! See, that's what it is...it's a condition. It's a disease, if you will, a condition that needs to be treated. So what is the treatment for the human condition? What could possibly alleviate these terrible symptoms? Is it a good idea to be rid of them? Find an answer to that, and I'll applaud you. So far, isolation just makes it worse... maybe I'm just having a Bipolar moment. Happens. | |
| I've found chocolate and orange juice are excellent remedies, if not, find a friend and discuss completely random things. And if THAT doesn't work, I suggest a transmogifier. | |
| Aha, a transmogrifier...I only need the schematic from Calvin and Hobbes and I should be good to go...thanks, I'll work on that! *busts out the soldering iron* | |
| How am I supposed to act, what am I to be? I feel like the biggest pariah of all history. Humans freely converse with each other without worry or fear, so why am I uncomfortable whenever someone comes near? Every sentence is a gamble each new word a risk. Am I being too loquascious? Am I being to brisk? I only know who I am, I hope someone else does too. The only thing I can seem to do is apologize to you. Or, probably, I am overzealous, over-thought That doesn't make me any less distraught | |
| Except for meeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
| Doh! Totally killed the mood, there =P. Lol. | |
| Sorry, I have a tendency to do that. In fact, I believe I may be wanted in one or six states for such a crime. | |
| I didn't feel like e-mailing you again, so I'll just put it here. It also vexes me when I mention The Princess Bride and the confuse it with Princess Diaries... -_- Not okay. | |
| lol, yeah, that might be bad! | |
| ...Can I just...hug you forever? I hat hugs, so this says a lot, but your character is great, and I read your biography, which was fantastic. You were born in the most awesome month of the year (only a year and four days after me, we'll just call if 4 days, shall we?) And you live in Michigan! *currently wearing a Wolverine T-shirt* And you like Stargate, and you don't really like the new name of the SciFi channel and...and...this has ceased to be grammatically correct... so much cool... | |
| Ok, I was sitting at the computer in my parent's room, and I start to hear my dog bark outside. She barks a lot (to come in, when someone's coming near, when the cat wants to come in...) so I don't think much of it. But she keeps barking. Eventually, I get annoyed, so I go to the door, rip it open, and yell at her. When I look down, I see a big brown animal. (my dog's black). I take a step back in surprise, and see there's a goat standing on my porch! It looks at me for a second and bolts. IMMD! | |
| Really depressed tonight...I just always forget things, most of the time immediately after attempting to remember them, I can't do anything right, I'm lethargic, apathetic, pathetic, and all sorts of -etic's, I'm not especially good at anything, I just feel terrible. On top of all that, I just feel so unlucky. Bad things happen at bad times to me, and it just seems so unbelievable! So coincidental! Then again, I guess this is just teenage drama, because I feel like this a lot. | |
| Whoah, a notebook! Writing.com sure made some crazy updates...awesome though! Perhaps this will be a place to jot down thoughts and ideas...a blog of sorts. Or perhaps not? Thank you, Writing.com! The new additions to the site are wonderful! | |
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