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| tadpole1's Notebook |
| Part I: Dear Friends, I'm looking for advice. I don't remember how it is called, but I know that you can zoom in or out when writing, and I think this is where my problem is. I would like your professional opinion on which is best, and if you can explain why you think so, it would really help. The story is written from Lizzy's point of view. | |
| II: Original: Uncle Vernon set the cooler on the floor in the living room, just aside the door, and Lizzy's dad set two jugs of moonshine on the bar that divided the kitchen from the living room. He took the closest barstool while her mom and Uncle Vernon sat in the other two. Her dad grinned at Uncle Vernon and dropped his truck keys next to the jugs. "It'll put hair on your chest." "I cain't wait." Uncle Vernon grinned and rubbed his hands together. Her dad said grace. | |
| Part III: Modified: Uncle Vernon set the cooler on the floor in the living room, just aside the door, and Dad set two jugs of moonshine on the bar that divided the kitchen from the living room. He took the closest barstool while Mom and Uncle Vernon sat in the other two. Dad grinned at Uncle Vernon and dropped his truck keys next to the jugs. "It'll put hair on your chest." "I cain't wait." Uncle Vernon grinned and rubbed his hands together. Dad said grace. | |
| Dear friends, If you were looking for a thriller and saw these titles, which three would you pull from the shelf? Designer Eyes Unexpected Results Twisted Technology A Daughter's Challenge A Daughter's Defy In Memory of Mum For My Mother A Daughter's Dream Immoral Experiments Bad Science Medical Monster Tiny Warriors Researching the Researcher Catherine A Pink Solution Catherine's Search The Killing Cure Nanoplague Thank you | |
| Hey, wow! I didn't realize that I had a notebook. Hmm. Now, what do I do with it?  | |
| I read your bio concerning the omniscient voice in a story. I have written a story in the omniscient voice and I am very unsure about how it plays. Hoping you'll take a look when I post it "Waiting Room for the Not Quite Dead" Thanks, Anya | |
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I fear going back and forth between "her dad" and "Dad" where "Dad" does not to fit.
For ex:
Lizzy ate as fast as she could. The food was delicious, but her stomach would not stop churning. Did they always have to drink? Drinking was against the rules at church. She stole a glance at her dad. The rules did not apply to them, of course, but she and Janet had to do everything just right or they would get a whipping with a belt.
I'm on the brink of changing and am not sure I should.