Is it all in your head?
        by Special Kay  (mkay@Writing.Com)
Welcome to my quiz

*Question* *Question* *Question* *Question* *Question*

Answer all the questions honestly. There are definitely right and wrong answers, but really... just be honest. You can take this quiz multiple times (so feel free to come back and lie next time).



1. Phobias:
 Which of these do you fear most?
      The side effects of medications, especially when combined with gin.        
      Rejection        
      Waking up each morning and having to face another day        
      Snakes and/ or heights.        
      My plot could be exposed before I extract my revenge        
 
2. General anxiety:
 When I am fearful I...
      immediately go to the medicine chest.        
      make a run for the gun and ammo shop.        
      assume the fetal position .        
      call the crisis hotline hoping the guy with the sexy voice will answer again.        
      try keeping things in perspective.        
 
3. Parenting:
 When my children - real or hypothetical - ask me if they can go play, I...
      ask them to bring me a beer on the way out.        
      quiz them on the criminal history of their playmates' parents and whether there are guns in the house.        
      set them in front of the TV where I know they will be safe (while I'm in my bedroom crying).        
      grab my jacket and tag along. You never know where you might meet that special someone.        
      tell them to have fun and to be home before dark.        
 
4. Media:
 When I see news coverage of a disaster I feel...
      I should stock up on bottled water, canned goods, and Xanax.        
      those bastards got what they deserve.        
      things can't keep going like this. Things keep getting worse, and one way or another, it must all end soon.        
      that God is punishing us, and I don't know what I should do. "Should I call a priest? Go to confession? I just don't know what to do! I mean... does my hair look alright?"        
      sad for those involved, and grateful for what I have.        
 
5. Priorities:
 Which of the following do you pay the most attention to?
      How many refills are left on grandma's "nerve pills."        
      Nothing, None of it matters anyway.        
      The terms of your PFA (Protection from Abuse) Order.        
      My number of views on Myspace. I have 3 new friend requests!        
      The local weather report to see if it will rain over the weekend.        
 
6. Trust:
 Who do you trust the least?
      Priests (unless they're the drinking kind).        
      Lawyers (filthy, loathesome bastards).        
      Politicians (they never keep their promises. I mean . . . I don't think he ever really intended to leave his wife for me).        
      Shrinks (unless you're sleeping with them)        
      Lawyers AND Politicians (I'll take my chances with the rest).        
 
7. Transportation:
 When in a car I...
      focus on getting from point A to point B with out giving in to the temptation to drive off a bridge        
      make sure the gun is locked and loaded as I listen to the police scanner.        
      take the back roads to avoid those pesky sobriety check points.        
      call the On-Star folks every ten minutes... just to check in.        
      Turn on the radio, buckle up and go.        
 
8. World view:
 My views on immigration could best be summed up as...
      let's seal the borders, but let the Corona through. (Isn't that what NAFTA was all about?)        
      If I lived further south, I'd be signing on with the Minutemen to patrol the border. They're issued guns, right?        
      There is nothing wrong with immigration, but we need to address the issue of people entering the country illegally.        
      someone's gotta do my nails.        
      Who gives a shit? I've got my own problems.        
 
9. Down time:
 When I am feeling alone I...
      drink until I pass out.        
      Turn on my gaming system and blow away the enemy.        
      write heart-wrenching poetry.        
      I look up my exs on Facebook and shoot off emails to see if any of them are still single.        
      call my friends and make plans to go out.        
 
10. The future:
 When I think about the future, I feel...
      Concern that rising grain prices could cause the price of beer to skyrocket.        
      "what future? Someone has already set the auto-destruct on this planet."        
      the need to end it all.        
      full of dread. I don't want to be alone when I hit my sexual peak!        
      Uncertain, but hopeful.        
How'd you do? Click below for your results:
          

This printed copy is for your personal use only. Reproduction of this work in any other form is not allowed and does violate its copyright.