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Tuesday
May 29, 2012
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  >> Quiz >> Comedy >> ID #1647281  |   Show DetailsPrinter Friendly Page Tell A Friend
Queries Unto the Valentine
Think you're "Hot Stuff," El Capitan? For the "Is There Going To Be A Quiz" contest 2/10
Rated:
18+
by
Avg Rating: (4)
Contest Guidelines:
All items must be posted using bitem format.
Both weighted answer, and correct answer quizzes are eligible.
All case colors are welcome.
Quizzes should be related in some way to Valentine's Day.
All ratings are welcome also (but please keep your title/intro 13+ which is the rating of this forum).
Only one entry per person per category.
Entries can be edited up to the contest deadline.
All quizzes must be new items created for this contest.
The contest will end on February 28th.

*****************************************


Queries Unto the Valentine

By Indelibleink



This quiz came about for two reasons: 1) First of all, I'd never constructed a quiz before and I looked at this as a chance to get even with all the "authorities" (a.k.a. "comedians") in various magazines who have tortured me through the years with idiotic self-serving nonsense that they tried to pass off as "fact." Now, it's my turn, buccos! 2) Being the author of this quiz, I figured I'd have a better-than-even shot at actually passing one for a change! And, C) I always thought it would look good on my resume if resume stated that: February 2010 - Authored Popular Quiz on International Writing Website. If that doesn't get me into Wendy's, I don't know what will!

Now, admittedly, this might have been a bit more relevant before Valentine's Day, but, if you're really having trouble dealing with it, just think of it as being an early entry for February, 2011. 

That being said, let the games begin...
Quiz Scoreboard Available: View Scoreboard

1. Elementary-type question (this is a "gimmee," so DON'T screw it up!):
 The figure that symbolizes Valentine's Day is commonly referred to as a...
      Kidney (w/o stones)        
      Pickled Pig's Feet        
      Appendix        
      Diaphram        
      Heart        
 
2. Basic Intelligence:
 You know, (because it's already obvious that you're pretty smart since you're taking this quiz), which month Valentine's Day falls in. But, Smarty Pants, let's suppose it's Leap Year! Now, oh Learned One, what day does Valentine's Day fall on? (Bet you're sorry you didn't bring your calculator, huh?)
      15th        
      13th        
      14th        
      30th        
      31st        
      None of the above        
      All of the above (except "f")        
 
3. Valentubby Facts:
 Number of lbs of candy consumed per capita by Americans in 2007...
      11 lbs        
      17.5 lbs        
      24.5 lbs        
      20 lbs        
      22.5 lbs        
      What in the heck does "per capita" mean?        
 
4. Valettiquette (Valentine Ettiquette):
 Your valentine responds to your gifts with a response of, "Is that all?" Your response is to...
      Take him/her out for a nice dinner.        
      Take him/her out for a lousey dinner.        
      Take someone else out for a nice dinner.        
      Buy him/her a fruit smoothie with chocolate sprinkles.        
      Buy him/her a fruit smoothie with cyanide sprinkles.        
 
5. Basic Intelligence:
 You know what month Valentine's day is in, right? Okay, you walking dictionary, you, SPELL the WHOLE month....
      Febuary        
      Febulary        
      Feburary        
      Aw...Fu (Ah-Ah-Ahhhhh! Watch it, wise guy)        
      February        
      Frankenberry        
      Ben and Jerry        
 
6. Valenhubby Facts:
 What percentage of men are currently married in the United States?
      83%        
      66%        
      60%        
      57%        
      44%        
      No wonder the suicide rate for men in this country is so high!        
 
7. Nomenclature (Don't have a clue what that means, do you?):
 What is best associated with the "exchange of love notes."
      Valentines Day        
      Stalking        
      Lunch Time in the Federal Pen        
      Most politicians (don't confuse with answer "c")        
 
8. Valentine History:
 To what person is Valentine's Day most attributed to, going back to the Middle Ages?
      Rudolph Valentino        
      Rock Hudson        
      Tiger Woods        
      Jeff Daniels        
      Geoffrey Chaucer        
      Jeffrey Dahmer        
      Gary Hart        
 
9. Valentine's History:
 In what century did Valentine's cards become popular?
      17th Century        
      19th Century        
      20th Century        
      20th Century Fox        
      Buick Century        
      Storm of the Century        
      22nd Century        
 
10. Valettiquette (Valentine Ettiquette):
 Your valentine's rection to your gifts of chocolate, roses, and an expensive Hallmark card seems to be one of disappointment. Your reaction to his/her reaction is to...
      Buy him/her a sports car.        
      Show him/her a picture of a sports car and say "Someday, this will be yours."        
      Talk glowingly of a sports car and say "Someday, it will be ours."        
      Buy him/her a used Volkswagon Rabbit and say, "What did you expect, a sports car?"        
      Buy him/her a scooter and say, "You should have been happy with the chocolate & flowers."        
How'd you do? Click below for your results:
          

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