Maybe Tomorrow

I came so close to telling you how I feel today. About as close as I came to telling you yesterday. Why are you so scary to me? You're a person, just like me...though if you were me I would know how you would react if I walked up to you and said, "I like you". Because I do, you know? Like you I mean. Of course you don't know because I won't tell you.

The question is why?

Because I'm so afraid I can't even explain it. The fear grips me like a vice, squeezing the air out of my lungs at just the thought of telling you the truth. I lay in bed, staring at my ceiling, as cliche as that sounds, and think of you. Your smile, the way you laugh a little too loud at the movies, but most of all how you make me feel.

And it's ripping me apart.

I have daydreams about your reaction if I told you how much I care. The sparkle in your eyes as you tell me that you feel the same way, that you've wanted me too. You'd sweep me into your arms and give me my first kiss and everything would be perfect. But that's just a fantasy, who knows how you would cope with the knowledge of your reliable friend having a crush on you. And I'm not willing to tell you just to satisfy my curiosity. So I'll just lay here thinking of you, wondering and waiting for you to notice me.

And the waiting, my god, it's so hard.

I came this close to telling you how much I like you today, just like yesterday. I'll tell you soon...maybe tomorrow.