Loss of Himself

Jack’s body was covered in black as he flew into the night. He hears the peaceful humming of the blades above him. He gazes forward into the mesmerizing black sky. What did I do to get myself into this? He thinks to himself. He looks at the man next to him, some kid about his age that foolishly signed the paper that led him to the glamorous life they promised him. He remembers the papers, a lot of little words that these people Jack never met before said, “not to worry about”. He signed away like we were going to win some great prize. What a great prize this is. After he signed and someone told him “Welcome to the C.I.A.” And then told Jack what really he really signed up for. It was nothing like they said. The words of the pilot bring him back from his flashback.
“Three minutes until drop off.” Three minutes Jack had left before he had to go on his first, and possibly his last mission. They want him to get vital information for our nation. Jack hasn’t even heard of the place where they were taking him. Does it even matter? Just go in, download the information, and get out. That is all he had to do. They had this kid come with him. Jack has never even met him before, and Jack is supposed to cover him. They were about one minute away from the drop-off point. Jack strapped on his pack and waited for the light to turn green. He stared at it, and it reminded him of the bus. Waiting for the light so he could get off and go home. He wished he could be home right now. The light turned green suddenly and startled Jack. He jumped right into the pitch-black sky, falling closer and closer to the ground. “Wait about two and a half minutes before pulling the cord after you jump” they told him in training. He pulled the cord and was jerked around. He felt as if his neck was broken. He watched the other kid that was on the helicopter fall. He continued to fall. He finally pulled his cord and nothing happened. He pulled the emergency cord and nothing still happened. The kid that Jack was sitting next to less then about 2 minutes ago was now screaming as Jack watched him falling to the ground like a rock.
“You’ll have to go solo then, Jack.” Someone over the earpiece said to him. Due to the death he just witnessed, Jack was in too much shock to respond. He fell safely to the ground. “Ok the target is only 2 miles away. I want this to be as covert as possible. Your gun is your last resort. Go!” the same voice yelled. Jack started to run. Tears were forming at the base of his eyes. He didn’t want to be here at all. He wanted to be bowling with his friends or at the mall hitting on some girls. He ran toward the target, a small military base that was thought to be abandoned. They told him that there were not too many personnel in there but all Jack cared about was the people who had guns. He was about 20 yards away from the target when he noticed there were searchlights. He had to avoid them. He ran though the field crouched down, dodging the light. He made it to the door, and stood against the wall shaking and scared out his mind. Why am I here?
“Use your lock picks to get inside.” Jack did as he was told. He took out the tools and heard three clicks and opened the door. He passed through the door into a dark hallway. “After you go through the door turn left and go 45 feet down the hallway, then make a left.” Jack followed the orders as a little puppy would. He walked down the hallway constantly looking over his shoulder; he desperately did not want to come into contact with anyone. He walked and walked down the dark hallway what seemed like forever. When he reached the hallway he put his back to the wall and looked around the corner. Jack saw a guard dressed like him. The guard held the gun closely to him as if it was keeping him safe. Jack realized he was doing the same with his now unholstered gun. Jack stood there waited, and kept looking at him. The guard turned around and was looking the other way. Crouched down as low as Jack snuck behind the guard. The guard turned around and saw Jack.
“Hey” the guard said, just as Jack put 3 bullets in him. The sound of the silencer attached to his gun muffled the sound of the gun, but it was still a painful blast in Jack’s ears. The guard fell slowly to the ground. Jack watched the body as it twitched and died on the floor. He looked now at the lifeless body and realized that he was just about the same age as himself. He looked at his gun and his eyes started to water. He didn’t want this. He came down to his knees while staring at the corpse. He never thought he could ever kill someone. He wanted to sob, but he knew he would make too much noise and he would give himself away. He touched the wounds he inflicted on this boy no less then a second ago. He watched the blood run down the kid’s side and to the floor. He never thought that he would be in something like this. He couldn’t believe what he had done.
“Jack have you reached the hallway” the sound of the earpiece made through the silence that had filled his ears. He had to accept what he had done. This was something Jack knew he could never forget. “Jack!” the voice yelled.
“Ye…. yeah, I’m here.” Jack said breaking up.
“Ok good. Go down this hallway 30 feet then there should be a room filled with cubicles and computers in each one. Go to the second row of them, third cubicle. Download a program called, “Flash,” then report back to drop-off point.”
“I got you” Jack said in return and rose to his feet.
The fear of what could happen to Jack now was gone. Jack’s total mood had changed. He could care less if he lives or dies. He ran down the hallway into the room. He found the computer and accessed the program “Flash”. He cared not to look at what it was. The download was complete, and Jack retraced his steps. He walked back down the hall and made a right passing the body of the man he killed. He continued to walk and made it to the door. He went past the searchlight again and made it to the drop-off. The helicopter that brought him here arrived covered in the darkness of the night. A ladder was lowered down and he climbed up it.
“Nice job, for a newbie.” the man on the plane said to him.
“Here’s what you wanted.” Jack said in a bland tone that showed no trace of emotion. Ha! Now you’re one of them, a voice inside his head said. This voice was different. It wasn’t his own mind talking to him. It was a different voice. You are a cold heartless bastard now. HaHaHa… The voice was not his own. It was taunting him. “His voice reminds me of the gasp that came out of that guard before I shot him.” Jack whispered.
“What was that, O’Riley?”
“Nothing sir.” Jack said back to him. He sat in the back of the helicopter with the voice inside his head going on and on.