I Hate Myself

I hate myself
So much right now
For thinking what I do

I hate myself
Because I feel what I think
Makes me unfaithful to you

I hate how I
Scream for attention
And seek it instead from him

I hate that I
Feel pushed away from you
And it feels like such a sin

I hate how I
Sit in his room
And enjoy his company

I hate that I
Laugh at his jokes while
In our room I let you be

I hate how it
Feels like you just want
For me to leave you alone

And I hate that I
Oblige to that wish
And stay with him to condone

I hate myself
Because I love you so much
But he makes me feel good

I hate what I'm
Putting all of us through
Though you know I never would

I hate that I
Just think it, though I'll
Never make it true

I still hate myself
For feeling this way
Because I should only feel it for you