Charmed

The first one was an unexpected but pleasant surprise. I was the Principal of Ntaria School in a remote Aboriginal community in the Northern Territory of Australia in 1997. My middle son, Len, lived and worked there too, and had gone down to Adelaide, to assist with a school excursion. When he returned, he presented me with a gift he had bought there – a small, gold charm of a mother and baby dolphin within a gold circle. It was lovely, and a wonderful gift, a reflection of Len’s loving and gentle nature.

I had never had something like that before, and had no bracelet on which to mount it. I did have a fine 18 carat gold neck chain though, and I put it on that, as I really wanted to wear it. It looked great, but the chain was really too soft and too fine to hold the charm. I continued to wear it though, hoping it would be OK.

A couple of months later, I flew up to Darwin for a week-long Conference on Educational Administration. One afternoon, I found myself with a couple of free hours, and nothing particular to do. I went for a walk into the city, and, along the way I found a jewellers store. I decided it was a good time to have a look at gold bracelets for attaching charms. I found one I liked that wasn’t too expensive, and after purchasing it, I left it with them so they could attach the dolphin charm. I picked it up the next day. The charm looked great on the bracelet, but lonely.

When I got back home, I told my second son Adrian, when I rang him in Perth, Western Australia, about the charm Len had bought for me. The next week I moved down to Burra in South Australia, where I would live whilst undertaking a Graduate Diploma through External Studies with the University of the Northern Territory. A few weeks later, soon after my 50th birthday, Adrian came across for a visit. He brought with him a birthday present for me – a little gold charm of an owl perched on a branch. He had remembered that I collected owls as ornaments, and had thought a gold one for my fiftieth birthday would be most appropriate. It was a great idea, and very thoughtful of him. I took the bracelet to a jeweller in nearby Clare to have the owl attached.

A few years went by, I didn’t return to the NT but remained in Burra, and I still had just the two gold charms on my bracelet. I only wore it when I went somewhere special, as I spent a lot of time in the workshop with tools, and in the garden, and didn’t want to damage it. During that time, I had mentioned the bracelet to my other sons, and dropped hints that it would be lovely if I had a charm from each of them – my special men! But nothing had happened.

My eldest son Paul, and his wife Mari came over to Australia from Japan for a visit in early 2003. They visited the boys’ father and two of their brothers in NSW, and then went over to Adrian’s in Perth. Len flew to Perth from the NT and I flew over from SA to join them. It was great to see Paul after so long; we hadn’t seen him since he and Mari had married in March 1999. It seemed he had grown a little distant from us, and he and Mari were very upset that Adrian and Ming Lee were to have a baby later in the year; we didn’t find out why until later – they’d just found out that they couldn’t have children themselves. On one day of their visit we all went shopping at a big shopping centre in Perth. We separated to do our own thing, and then met up for coffee before heading back to Adrian and Ming Lee’s place. While we sat having coffee, Paul presented me with a little gold star charm for my bracelet which he and Mari had just bought! I thought all the boys had forgotten about my charm bracelet, but Paul had remembered, and I was very touched. I kept the star carefully in my purse until I returned to Burra, and then took it to the jeweller to have it attached alongside the other charms.

I now had a charm from each of my eldest three sons, and I thought that was probably all I would get. Three charms looked better on the bracelet than one or two, but I would have loved to have five there, one for each of my sons!

My life changed dramatically in the following twelve months, and another man came into my life. There were difficult times for about six months, while I worked out where I wanted to be and with whom I wanted to spend the rest of my life. With my decision made, in October 2004 I moved interstate to Wangi in New South Wales to live with Dirk. On my arrival, Dirk presented me with two jewellery boxes. Each contained a lovely gold charm with a tiny diamond. I hadn’t wanted an engagement ring, so Dirk had decided that he would get me both of our horoscope signs – mine Leo and his Gemini. The jeweller in nearby Toronto attached them to the bracelet at each end near the clasp, so that when it was fastened, they were together; very symbolic!

My bracelet had really become a symbol of several of my very special men – my husband and my eldest three sons. I wore it all the time now, not just when I went out. In the December after I came to live with Dirk, we drove up to Brisbane in Queensland to visit my fourth and fifth sons, Alan and Rodney, and also Len, who was by then living there too. While we were in Brisbane, Alan gave me my Christmas present, but said I couldn’t open it until Christmas Day, which meant after we’d returned home. I carried out his wish, and opened the small, gift-wrapped box on Christmas Day, to find a beautiful tiny golden thong (an Aussie footwear icon). On the back was engraved “Alan ‘76” – his name and year of birth. The thong represented him perfectly - happy, free and Australian! This sixth gold charm was duly attached to the bracelet by the jeweller. There were now just two spaces on the bracelet where other charms could easily fit; and there were two of my special men still unrepresented - my youngest son and my father.

In March 2005, Dirk and I were married. That evening we went, together with Dad, aged eighty-three, to my sister Sheelagh’s for a celebration dinner. At the table, I showed Sheelagh my bracelet, and explained the significance of all the charms. I also mentioned that I would love to fill the two spaces with a charm from Dad and one from Rodney. After dinner we took Dad home. We went inside with him for a while before going to sleep out in our camper van which was parked in his driveway. Dad went into his bedroom and returned with a small package, which he handed to me, saying he had something he thought I would like. As I took off the wrapping, I suddenly knew what it was. I opened the box and took out a beautiful little golden biplane – and burst into tears! With Dad’s arms around me and Dirk looking on, I tried to look at the little charm through my tears. It was the perfect symbol to me of my Dad, a former World War II fighter pilot. Dirk wouldn’t admit it, but he had been the one to get it for Dad, who is blind, and neither had let on about it by any word or sign. It was a wonderful surprise and very emotional.

Since then, the charms have been with me night and day. Sometimes, they remind me they are there by catching on a loose thread on my clothing, and I say a silent hello to whichever of them it was. It is nice to have so many of my men with me all the time.

Then August 2005 arrived, and I travelled again to Brisbane to visit four of my boys there. Adrian and his family had moved from Perth, and Len from central coastal Queensland so that they could be closer to their brothers, Alan and Rodney. My last day with them was my birthday, and I was hoping that Rodney and his wife Becky would fill in the last gap on the bracelet, thus completing the collection of symbols of all my special men - until I realised that even if he did give me a charm for my bracelet, he wouldn’t be the last of my special men anyway! There is another special one – Adrian's son, my beautiful grandson Aidan, the first of the next generation.

I was expecting that it would be quite a while before twenty-one-month-old Aidan would be able to add a charm to his grandma’s bracelet, but that birthday morning he gave me a little package. When I opened it, I found a lovely little golden sun to add to my bracelet. How appropriate, as he is the sunshine of our lives!

I’m still hoping Rodney joins the crew sometime, though it's not a big deal if he doesn't. And now there’s going to be still another little man in the family – Aidan will have a baby brother next year. That charm bracelet is going to get quite crowded!!