The Gift He Left Behind

He's with me in the morning
Afternoon and night
My memories of him haunt me
Each day I'm poised to fight

I'm waging my own battle
With the guilt I feel inside
I allowed this man to hurt me
This pain I can no longer hide

My tender heart was broken
I've cried a million tears
For a man whom I once loved so much
Now I'll suffer for many years

He played on my emotions
Abused me in every way
He's in my dreams most every night
His games I'll no longer play

I've beat myself up badly
Blamed myself for all he's done
I'm hurt and worn and torn apart
Some days I believe he's won

I'm filled with so much sadness
My heart aches to this day
I can't believe I was so blind
To fall victim to his prey

I'd really like to kill him
Torture him for days
Make him feel the pain he's caused
So my pain can go away

I know that's not the answer
It will not solve a thing
I'm smart enough to truly know
What murdering him would bring

Through therapy and peer support
I'm working through this pain
It took awhile to understand
That brooding leaves nothing to gain