From Me to You

From me to you:

You said to me, "I must trust you first. I must feel safe."

I said to you, "trust is not about being safe at all. It is very scary. Trust does not require that you be safe. In fact, if you are perfectly safe, you don't need to trust. Trust requires that we take great big leaps of faith.

Trust happens in relationships while safety can exist alone. Trust cannot exist alone. It's you and me babe. :) We must have a covenant of sorts, a promise and a gift that we offer to each other. We must have a shared experience, not two experiences alone, in order for trust to bud and bloom.

Safety is a promise that you will not get hurt. I cannot promise that, even as much as I want to, for your not ever getting hurt is not in my power to give. I can try not to hurt you and certainly wouldn't want to hurt you. Safety is a demand from me which I might not be able to deliver. Trust, however, is a deep commitment, and I can do that, but it is very important not to confuse the two -- trust and safety.

If you demand safety, we will rot in place, not grow. If we build on trust, we will move forward and discover new things about each other that surprise and delight us. I can commit to you. Can you commit to me? We might not remain safe, but we will be living!"