'WHO IN THE HELL IS K. I. SMET"

Who in the hell is K. I. Smet


As I have spent more time with Mister Smet, than any other human being, I will accept the responsibility of answering this question. Smet was born June 7, 1944 and this event forever set the bar on his development. Many people would point to this event as the penultimate justification for euthanasia. For the high hopes of his parents were dashed by the reality; Smet was defective. He was extremely small at birth (71/4 lbs), he was unable to walk, or talk. That is right he could not utter a single word. Fortunately, for him, his parents were very special and never allowed him to perceive these problems as handicaps. The following eighteen years were filled with hours of rehabilitation to address these flaws and meeting him today you would never know of their existence. Sadly, after getting to know him, it becomes apparent he is still defective. “Secular dyslexia” is the diagnosis and this produced an adult unable to see the world extant. Yes, I am telling you K. I. Smet has never once seen the world as it exists. “Whynot indeed?” This sad fact has led to many ancillary symptoms, which have branded him an outcast. Panapoly of diagnosis list these defective behaviors as follows optimism, idealism, honor, truth, and worst of all an unadulterated love for all humankind and the very earth. As should be apparent these abberations have created a monster unable to function in today's society.

The first paragraph is for informing you, and giving you every opportunity to protect yourself. Why? Because these anomalies can be very catching and I know of no more virulent carrier than Smet.Why, just look at these characteristics and you will appreciate the danger represented by this man.

K. I. is strongly attached to the number nine and thus he always mails nine letters, tells nine good stories, etc... When asked he will tell you this is due to an occurrence in his formative years. It seems, after nine years of intensive education, Smet was able to count to nine and thus graduated to the second grade. Further note if a person chooses to communicate with Smet it is important to do so while seated. If the assumption is made a casual stroll will facilitate said communication, you will meet with very limited results. Smet while quite loquacious in repose, has never mastered the art of talking and walking at the same time.
I feel it important, I further warn that while Smet is well grounded and verbose, it is imperative to realize his continuing irreverence and lack of serious mien is quite disconcerting. You will quickly discover there is absolutely nothing to do with life, or humankind he does not find funny. This characteristic often produces the most outrageous comments and conversations imaginable. When questioned on his remarks he inevitably quotes Jimi Hendrix, “There are many here among us, who think that life is but a joke.” My feeling on this tendency can be summed up thus; Smet has virtually no concept of self. As support for this contention, I list the following idiosyncrasies.

If presented with a large sum of money, Smet will become extremely agitated and stressed until he manages to give the offending boon away. He is often seen walking about semi-nude, after giving the shirt off his back to another less fortunate. Clearly the strangest behavior can be defined by one of his constant quotes (of himself), “I enjoy looking forward to my death in hopes it will be interesting enough I shall enjoy looking back upon it as well.” If this does not scare the hell out of you then perhaps you might, just might, be able to survive meeting this maniac.

I pray this information will serve the purpose intended. That purpose is to protect you from a force, which can only be described as perverse. Please be warned Smet represents humane comportment, honor, truth and all those ancient values, which we as a society have managed to overcome. Close approximation to this man can only serve to set humanity back hundreds of years, (or maybe forward). In case you have any doubts please note following facts. Smet believes we can change the world; he has a very comprehensive program for achieving this end. He is proslytizing on a continuous basis for this goal and the result will be the betterment of all people on the face of the earth.

You have been warned, you have been informed of this nefarious intent. I ask, have you ever heard of a more disgusting thought than fairness for all humanity. Why that would mean a balanced world and an opportunity to address the anomalies of life, how disgusting is that. No, I say, no, that is more than my mind can encompass. I beseech thee, lock him up before we are all happy. What a revolting thought.

With respect and concern,


L. Oser