12 Days of Christmas - Modern U.S.

originally published at the former Mediard.com website

America's favorite past time isn’t sex or even football, it’s eating. Therefore a modern version of the classic song the 12 Days of Christmas should involve food. I thought first about fast food, but terms like “Big Mac” and “Whopper” don’t really fit into the tune very well. The following choices can be sung as part of the tune.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
five cherry pies,
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
six chocolate cakes,
five cherry pies,
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
seven carrot sticks,
six chocolate cakes,
five cherry pies,
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
eight bowls of pudding,
seven carrot sticks,
six chocolate cakes,
five cherry pies,
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
nine baked Alaskas,
eight bowls of pudding,
seven carrot sticks,
six chocolate cakes,
five cherry pies,
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
ten candy canes,
nine baked Alaskas,
eight bowls of pudding,
seven carrot sticks,
six chocolate cakes,
five cherry pies,
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me
eleven cups of egg nog,
ten candy canes,
nine baked Alaskas,
eight bowls of pudding,
seven carrot sticks,
six chocolate cakes,
five cherry pies,
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.

On the twelveth day of Christmas my true love gave to me
twelve Krispy Kremes,
eleven cups of egg nog,
ten candy canes,
nine baked Alaskas,
eight bowls of pudding,
seven carrot sticks,
six chocolate cakes,
five cherry pies,
four scoops of dressing,
three baked potatoes,
two turkey legs,
and a chocolate-cherry milk shake.