Conversing with my Jewell-contest entry

Conversations with Jewell

“Jewel you get in here right now," I said. Okay I'm counting, one, two, three, buckle my shoes! Five, six, okay, Jewell, I'm serious this time I'm gonna close the door. Jewell, you get in on board right now! Do you want that bogyman to get you? “ I said.

Reluctantly she walks with her head down then looks at me with crocodile tears in her eyes. With her little Jack Russel Terrier innocent face she said, “Mama, there's squirrels out there and an arrogant woodpecker on the side of the house. If you will only let me stay out a little bit longer I just know I can apprehend either and make you proud!”

Well, who can resist a dog that talks. Even the horse, Mister Ed was irreplaceable. No one understands Jewell but me. Every now and then I have her do the little simple dog tricks like saying, “I want it” for a small milk bone dog biscuit or “I wuv you.” People hear her mumble this is the lowest voice but they don't really know how well we converse in private. I have been called the Dr. Do little of dogs.

I answer, “Jewell, go on ahead and try to apprehend your dwarf bait animals. Please just leave the lizards alone. I could have swore that the last commercial Gieco had showing was starring the lizard that lives on my butterfly bush."

Without hesitation Jewell replied, “Okay, Mum but if I see that lizard I will pinch his tail off. He'll still live!”

I was getting angry. Here this little 12 pound dog was telling me, the owner what to do. I should call the dog whisper and sic him on her. Better yet I'll take her to the pet shop and let her see those gigantic Lizards and watch her shake and tremble in fear.

“Jewell, you know I'm expecting the Bogyman home any time and what if he's on a motorcycle?” I said. That always got to the stubborn hound. If there was two things Miss Jewell hates it is the bogyman, otherwise known as my son or a motorcycle. Now she was giving me the silent treatment.

I was afraid she would get my lizard friend so I said in a stern, deep voice, “Jewell, come now. One. Two.”

Good she was on her way in except she saw Slim Shady the dog from next door. I starting singing my favorite song that I had made up, “Slim Shady to the rescue. Go Slim Shady go.”

I had to resort to my last hope to get Jewell in so I could take a well deserved nap. I went to the charger and got the hand held dust buster and the loud annoying sound brought Jewell to the door every time! Jewell was behind me turning into a mad dog, barking furiously at the monster machine that drove her crazy. Soon she was exhausted and we both went to bed. She cuddled up next to me and I could hear her heart beating. She was dreaming of lizards, mice, and all the good things Jack Russel's learn to torture; besides the adults they live with. While I worried about what poor animal awaited her torture when she went back into the wild!