I'm Kind of Depressed Today

When I was very young
I just wanted to be good
A good Catholic girl
But I never understood

How life would lead me down
Its complicated way
And whether I'd be found
I didn't have a say

There was some temptation
Of various pleasures
And I had hesitation
Yet took drastic measures

To experiment with
Different forms of escape
They did give me a lift
If only for a day

But now I'm almost old
What good have I ever done
I thought that I was bold
But what have I ever won

The days get shorter now
I haven't much time left
And still I think somehow
There's time to leave a gift

Just something for someone
To remember me by
I lived my life alone
How did life pass me by

I never got a chance
To have a family
I sat out every dance
I was afraid to be me

So now I leave behind
The only thing I own
Some written words of rhyme
The only seeds I've sown

I pray that there's a God
Who loves me anyhow
I never was that good
Especially not now

Now that I've given up
On trying to be great
Whether my life even matters
I can only speculate