Pam Made A Big Boo-Boo

Marcia,

Girlfriend, I don't know why weddings bring out the worst in people and make them lose their mind. My sister Pam lost her mind when she made a monumental error of judgement when she allowed Boo-Boo "The Drunk" Washington to be in her wedding. Precious, here's the story of the mess and all of it's gory details.

I told Pam not to invite Boo-Boo to her wedding, let alone having him in her wedding. But Boo-Boo is Wesley's, Pam's fiance'/husband's first cousin so she went went along with his request. Personally, I wouldn't have cared if Boo-Boo had been my granddaddy. His drunk behind wouldn't have been seen anywhere near my wedding and reception.

During the wedding rehearsal I got the shock of my life. Pam assigned "Boo-Boo the Inebriated Wet Brain" to escort me down the aisle as part of the bridal party. Marcia I couldn't believe it. Pam and I had the usual sibling rivalry and fights as children but I thought she had forgiven me and all of that was water under the bridge. I was so outdone. I became unglued for a moment as well. But trust me, I was unglued for only one moment because I gave Boo-Boo 10 pieces of mind.

I told Boo-Boo, "Fool you listen to me and I mean you better listen good. If you get drunk and throw up on me, my outfit or my shoes, I will beat every kind of laceration, puncture, knot, cavity and blunt force trauma upside your head". Boo-Boo swore up and down that he would be straight. I thought to myself, Yeah you need to get straight, straight to the nearest rehab or drunk tank.

Anyway Pam's wedding was outstanding. It was off the hook, sistergirl. Pam looked gorgeous. The wedding party was stunning if I must say so myself and ugly old Boo-Boo managed to look half-way decent too. Marcia the ceremony was touching and heartwarming. We couldn't have been more satisfied. Until the reception.

Miss Marcia, Boo-Boo grabbed a bottle of champagne and partied like the drunk jackass he's always been. He tripped, stumbled and fell all over the place. I begged Pam to call a taxi, ask the limo driver or anybody to take Boo-Boo home.

She didn't listen. Wesley tried to talk some sense into Boo-Boo. Pam's mother-in-law hollered at him and I cussed his sloppy drunk ass up one wall and down the other.

Then the unthinkable happened. Boo Boo fell right smack down the middle of Pam & Wesley's 5 tier wedding cake. Oh Marcia, Pam let out this blood curdling scream. We tried to console her but she wasn't having it. Pam ran to to the cake and tried to put it back together again. She cried and cried. I felt so hurt for her.

I thought Pam was a heartbroken wreck. But I thought wrong. Pam had picked up the cake slicer and ran after Boo-Boo with it. If she couldn't slice the cake, she was going to slice Boo-Boo. We grabbed Pam and reminded her that she was a newlywed with an exciting Carribean Island honeymoon in store. Aunt Elsie said, "Pam you'll forget all about this cake years later. It won't even matter".

My big mouth didn't calm Pam down either. I forgot something very important. Never say, "I told you so". Girlfriend, faster than the words came out of my mouth, Pam tried to slice me. I was wearing a long gown and 3 inch pumps but I did the 100 yard dash to my car in 2 seconds flat and I didn't look back, think back or come back to the wedding reception. My life and limbs are very important to me. I didn't want to lose either one.

Pam's wedding and reception were the notorious events of the century. Now I understand why you and your husband never invite Boo-Boo to your home. You guys don't want to go to jail for aggravated assault if Boo-Boo has one of his wet brained episodes at your house. Good for you. And good for me too because I will never allow Boo-Boo to even cast his shadow over my home. Okay Miss Marcia, that's my rant and rave for the day so I will check you later. Give everybody my love and take care.

Sisterfriends 4ever,
Elaine