Two Hearts Beat as One

Bethany Donovan had always loved Steven Delaney. They shared a first kiss at ten and the honey sweetness of his mouth was a cherished memory of her childhood. She was Cinderella, except instead of golden tresses she had Irish red locks that curled around her freckled face. Steven was the golden boy with blond hair and lovely blue-green eyes; her Prince Charming.

In contrast to that pure innocent love, the Donovan household was run by the sour mash of Jack Daniels bourbon. They lived in a small dirty clapboard house. The yard was overgrown and the house needed painting. Shutters with carved hearts were falling apart and the once lovely window boxes were breaking up.

Linda and Danny Donovan had always had alcohol in the house but, in the last five years they had begun to drink in excess. Bethany remembered liquor in their grandparents' houses. Her one grandaddy was hauled to jail when they were there for drinking. Now, her parents didn’t care about themselves, the girls or their home.

Their moods were erratic and although neither abused the girls, they often hit each other. When Dad came home, Mom became out of control; yelling, flinging china and ashtrays.

Bethany took charge, taking three year old, Betsy, outside. They often spent cold nights, huddled beneath a filthy quilt, in a cramped tool shed. In the morning before school, Bethany made Betsy breakfast. In classes she worried about her sister since Mom often slept so soundly, awaking with a nasty hangover.

Steven was the person Bethany confided in. He listened, held her as she cried, then tried to summon a smile with silly antics or jokes. He told his parents some of the problems, often bringing the girls home with him. Their house was a safe haven so different from their own. His parents celebrated the girls’ birthdays, bought them clothes and gave hugs. They never asked probing questions but later wished they had.

The school began to ask questions. A once bright attractive child, Bethany now looked disheveled. She missed school often and her work suffered. Her parents had never showed up regularly for parent-teacher conferences.

Finally, a caring teacher pushed for Social Services to be called. The home situation was observed by a seasoned social worker who alerted the courts. Both girls were removed from their home and sent to foster care.

Bethany and Steven didn’t get to say goodbye. The pain was a visceral one that clutched her heart. She was happy to leave her home but a new one might even be worse and Steven wouldn't be close to run to.

The girls were fortunately taken by a stable childless couple. Dorothy and Ed were in their fifties and adored them. Bethany was a joy with her independent spirit, intelligence, and adoration of her sister. Betsy was fragile with her shaky hands, shyness and a sweet heart. Ed was a family practitioner, and saw classic symptoms of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome in Betsy, from the drinking during pregnancy.

Bethany called Steven once a week but a six hour drive separated them. They wrote long letters pouring out pubescent love. Poems carried their vibrating heartstrings via the US Mail.

When Bethany and Steven were thirteen, Dorothy and Ed arranged a trip halfway at a mall. Steven’s parents, Susan and Sean, suggested dinner together. There was so much conversation that no one noticed Bethany and Steven gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Bethany couldn’t eat, her stomach fluttered with butterflies. Finally, dinner was over.
They were left alone for an hour in the mall. A small coffee shop offered a secluded table, where they held hands and touched knees intimately.

Steven whispered, “You are so awesome; more beautiful then your pictures. I love you, Beth.”

She started crying, “I know. I feel the same; someday we will be together. It’s so hard. You will be around some really hot girls. I am afraid you will forget about me.”


"Never.” He sounded sincere. "It’s always been you".

It was serious sentiment from a very young man. Steven had always seemed more mature than his age.

Suddenly, Steven had a severe nose bleed. Bethany pinched his nostrils and put an ice bag over his forehead area. He confessed that they had been happening several times a week and he was afraid to tell his parents. His pale appearance frightened Bethany, she hadn’t noticed it earlier but in the bright light she could see the veins in his forehead and his hands, so delicate. She wanted to wrap him up and never let go. She made him promise to tell his folks. It was a bittersweet good-bye.

Bethany didn’t get a letter or call for two weeks.

Then Steven’s Mom called, “Bethany, Steven is in the hospital and asking for you".

Bethany could hear fear in her voice and fought back her own tears.

Susan continued, “He didn’t want you to know but he has a serious form of leukemia, a very aggressive type. They have done everything and well, he needs you. God, let me talk with your Mom, honey”.

Bethany approached the ICU bed. This wasn’t her knight, forever coming to her rescue.
This was a young boy, thin, skin the color of a white shirt. Surrounded by machines that beeped and blood dripping into him, there were bags and bottles below holding blood; his life was pouring into those.

She touched his hand tentatively and whispered,
“Steven, it’s Beth, I love you.”

His eyes opened with pools of gray. Thunderstorms had entered their special world.
He struggled to speak.
“It’s o-okay, I can go-o now but had to see you. I am so tir-ed-I love you- so sorry”.

She gave him permission.
“I will be fine, Steven, close your eyes and be at peace.”

Her mouth met his and the sweetness remained. Her childhood had slipped away a long time ago. She had to let him go but she would fight for everything else from then on.

On a beautiful spring day filled with new life, birds chirping and flowers budding, Steven joined the Earth.

Steven’s death put Bethany on the path to medical school. She concentrated on nothing else but a 4.0 average so she had scholarships.

While studying, Bethany found out alcoholism is a hereditery progressive disease. She had to forgive her parents before she could move on with her life. They did the best that they could.
She found out that she excelled in Oncology.
Steven was often nearby. She felt his hand on her shoulder and his words filled her mouth as she spoke with dying patients, always giving her strength.

Bethany hired a Physician's Assistant to help her. He had such empathy and once in a while, he would wink or cock his head a certain way. They began to date.
Eric Matthews was a man. She had different feelings for him. They shared goals for treating cancer patients so the professional and personal were in sync. Now they could build a home life also. They both agreed on a non-alcoholic home.

Steven's memory was carried on with Bethany and Eric's first child; a son named Eric Steven Matthews. He was the most alert baby she had ever seen, ready to take on the world.


By Kathie Stehr