Born in Spin ~ Come on In!

Seems the White House Sultans of Spin let no grass grow beneath their feet during the obligatory 24-hour 'Mum's the Word Grace Period' ensuing after Vice President Dick Cheney's Sixth Annual "Fish-in-a-Barrel Campbell Coral Shootout" ended abruptly this Saturday past in a hail of misdirected birdshot...

The pureed details of Mr. Cheney's unfortunate bagging of a Barrister instead of a bird were spoonfed to a voracious Press not by an official Whitehouse Spokesclone, but instead by the harried spouse of the owner of the Texas ranch at which the mishap took place.   With the proverbial feline now out of the poke, the scramble for spin in the Nation's Capitol must have resembled something akin to the rodent riot scene from the movie, "Ben".   Drawing from the deep political well of abundant tax-funded resources and immense proclivity for truth-trashing, they've nevertheless managed to get it together in record time ~ and emerge from their tunnels every bit as 'fresh faced' as Michael Jackson ~ to enlighten a guffawing public.  Bless their dear little hearts...

The wounded Barrister, you see, was not an entirely innocent victim in this Hunting Hemmorhage of the Third Kind.  Do not for one moment let birdshot wounds of the face, neck, and upper torso distract you... this man, according to informed Whitehouse Sorcerers Sources, had just retrieved his own brutalized bird and approached our rotund V.P. WITHOUT loudly announcing his return to the armed fold. This inexcusable indiscretion 'tiggered' our esteemed V.P. Cheney's wholly understandable reaction of mistaking the Barrister's foosteps for a stalking quail's sneak attack and whirling around to blow the offending critter to smithereens.  Ergo, it was the victim's blatant disregard for time honored traditions practised by dayglow orange-clad gents with guns ~ not Dick Cheney's heady enthusiasm for blasting feathered creatures into oblivion ~ that culminated in the Barrister's bloodshed.

All's well with the world... a grateful nation can now shed the heavy mantle of concern that Mr. Cheney might bear even a modicum of responsibility for injuring an innocent taxpayer. I'm certain that the Multitudes join me in collectively breathing a ginormous sigh of relief to once again bask in the afterglow of synthetic, 'politically abject' enlightenment.

Ain't life a hoot?