The Secrets Within

My name is Destiny and I grew up in a wonderful home, in which anyone could ever dream of living. It did seem wonderful to those of a passerby, but on the inside it was far from the same. There was a sense of secrets that seemed to flow like some fragrance. Your hopes and dreams were discouraged. In fact, they were shunned and forever locked.

When I was ten, I began to sense the many secrets that lurked about. It came to be when I stumbled across a trunk that was locked and hidden from view. Like any other ten-year-old, I was curious to know what it held. I got down on my knees and fumbled with the lock, but little did I know my mother stood in the shadows. Soon after, I felt her presence. I quickly stood and put my hands behind my back trying to look as innocent as I could, but she never bought it. In fact, she saw right through me. Her words were like ice and they sent a chill down my spine “you need not snoop around in places you don’t belong.” She spun around, her hills clicking on the marble floor as she walked. With my head down I retreated back to my room, which was becoming more like a sanctuary then a place of rest.

Two hours passed that night before I heard my mother’s footsteps coming from down the hall. She waited at my door as if trying to gain some composure before thrusting my door open. She just stood there staring with piercing eyes’ as if she could strike me dead at any moment. It was five minutes before she spoke up and said to come down quickly. She walked out slamming the door behind her.

Silence took over dinner that night with only glances being exchanged. Since I was obviously the cause of it, I felt burdened to speak up. On the other hand, I didn’t think I could muster up the courage to do so. Eventually I did speak up and mentioned my ambitions of becoming a writer, but they had other plans for my future. Before they could say anything I excused myself and fled back to my room where I sat down and sobbed.

I knew from then on my dreams had to be kept secret from my family. I never liked that fact, but I knew it was something I had to do to keep my dreams alive. It also occurred from then on that my parents seemed to ignore my existence. I was only to be seen at meals. Otherwise, I was to stay confined to my room. Their form of punishment gave me the opportunity to write without the worry of being caught. Needless to say it was a blessing.

I continued to write in secret for years. Then at the age of sixteen I felt confident to begin taking my writing to the next level. I began sending my writings to various magazines in hopes of one being accepted. Every day when the mail would arrive I would secretly go downstairs hoping to receive feedback. When nothing came I became devastated, but I kept trying. I had to prove that I could be successful without my parents and the so-called future they had in store.

A week or so passed when I finally received what I had been so anxiously waiting for. What seemed too good to be true, turned out to be a disaster. To make a long short, my mother got downstairs before I had the chance. I hid in the shadows and waited, but when she dropped the mail I knew it was time to go back to my room. She raced up the stairs and again stopped at my door as if reluctant. As she thrust my open the door she was on a rampage searching my room from top to bottom hoping to find anything I had written over the years. She succeeded in finding everything or so I thought. I had nothing left except for the many disks in which held them, though I had one yet to be saved. I knew I would never see it again.

For a few days I laid low making them think they had won. When things calmed down, I did continue on, more discreetly, of course. It’s sad to say that I never saw the letter, nor knew if it was of acceptance or rejection. There was no telling what my mother and father had done with the letter. They could have burned it for all I knew.

That night after my parents retired for the evening I went back to the trunk in hopes of finding some answers. Once there I realized I didn’t have the key in which to open it. As quietly as possible I searched, but I was unsuccessful. Just when I started to head back to my room I heard that familiar sound of footsteps coming from down the hall. I hid in a nearby room closing the door behind me, waiting patiently for my mother or father to pass. As I was about to leave, I felt drawn, as if to reveal some secret that laid right behind me. So I felt for a lamp, trying not move anything from its place. Once I my hands on what seemed to be a lamp, I quicky turned it on. I couldn’t believe what I saw right in front of me. It looked to be my brother’s room, who I never knew existed. The curtains were drawn shut and everything seemed to be untouched for years. What caught my eye was a letter sitting in his desk collecting dust. It was a letter addressed to our mother and father.
Mom and Dad,

It pains me to say that I’m leaving. I know you had what you thought was my best interest in mind, but I have to go on my life and pursue my own dream of becoming a singer. I ask of you not to make the same mistake with Destiny as you have done with me.
Logan Branson

Before I knew it, tears were flowing down my cheeks. I knew then it was time that I leave. So I turned off the lamp and walked out, closing the door softly behind me. It was hard to believe, but I knew it was true. My brother risked the odds to be the singer he wished to be. I stood there trying to gain some composure just like my mother often had before walking back to my room.

Tears were still streaming down my cheeks when I shut my bedroom door. I laid across my bed not understanding why they would keep such a secret from me. While lying there I welcomed the sweet relief of sleep that I so much desired. Having faith the next day would be brighter then the last.

The next morning I woke up failing to remember that it was my seventeenth birthday, but things changed when the mail arrived. I went down unaware of what I would receive. It was the shock of my life. After so many years of no contact, I received a card from Logan. As fast as I could, I ran back up to my room where I sat down and sobbed, while fumbling with the envelope trying to get it open. What I read brought tears to my eyes.

Destiny,
This may be the first of the many cards you have received, though I hope you have received everyone. I just want to wish you a happy birthday and may you get what your heart desires most. Lastly I would love for you to email me sometime because I would like to keep in touch. You can reach me through my website, www. LoganBranson.com. Happy Birthday Destiny.
Love,
Logan

I didn’t want to put it down, but I knew I couldn’t hold it forever. So I hid it in the bottom of a shoe box, in which held many other family mementos. When no one came up, I realized I had the house to myself. So once again I went in search of the key, but I was unsuccessful. While walking back to my room, I pondered as to where the key could be, but I came to no conclusion.

Once I arrived, I sat down and began to email Logan. I told him how much his fear for my life had become a reality and how much I despised their ways. About ten minutes later I was shocked to receive an email from Logan. He told me how sorry he was that our parents made the same mistake once more. Also, he asked about my own ambitions. I couldn’t resist emailing him back, so I mentioned my ambitions of a becoming a writer and how one of my stories was selected for publication. Logan emailed me once more and mentioned how proud he was and wished me a happy birthday once more.

I’m sad to say my parents never acknowledged my birthday that year. Since the way I was treated it never bothered me that I was forgotten. Logan contacting me meant so much more then anything my parents could ever give. All I ever wanted was love and acceptance, but I knew I would never get that from them.

For the remainder of that year nothing much occurred, except for the usual search for the key that I was unsuccessful in finding. It’s now the eve of my eighteenth birthday and I’m searching once more. The one place I never searched was my parents room where I found the key hidden in a jewelry box that was sitting on their dresser. With the key in hand, I neatly put everything back in its place. I quickly went to the trunk and knelt down, my hands shaking as I put the key in the lock and turned it. My hands were still shaking as I lifted the lid. What I found made my heart sink. That’s when I realized shocking truth about myself, the reason why I was disdained. I didn’t want to believe it, but the proof was laying right in front of me. So I had to accept the fact that I was adopted. I grabbed the picture of my mother along with the adoption papers and raced back to my room.

“How could they do this to me, I thought, making me live such a lie?” All I could do was lie there and sob with my face buried into the pillow. I desperately wanted someone to confide in and I knew Logan was the one, but I was heartbroken and didn’t think I could break the news. Silently I prayed hoping some miracle would take place. Immediately after I felt a sudden urge to check my email and there it was, an email from Logan. “ Thank you God, I silently prayed.” While still in tears, I began to read.

Destiny,
It’s now the eve of your eighteenth birthday and I want to give you the opportunity to start anew. I am asking you to come to California and if need be I will pay your way, though I know this is your decision, I’m hoping you take this opportunity.
Logan

I didn’t know what to say or think I was so speechless, for I knew it was an answer from the most high. “Now I know what I must do I thought, I must leave as Logan has asked of me.”
While still speechless and unsure I began to email Logan.

Logan,
I accept this wonderful opportunity you have set before me, though I’m unsure. You will have to pay my way of course. There is so much I have to tell you and it’s devastating, but it will have to wait until we meet.
Destiny

. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this I thought,” while awaiting his next email and fidgeting.

Destiny,
Thank you so much for accepting this opportunity that I have set before you. By tomorrow morning you should receive a plane ticket. I ‘ll meet you at the airport.
Logan

While trying not to disturb my adoptive parents I frantically threw everything I thought I would need into two suitcases. So as not to be noticeable, I slid them under the bed and went to sleep excited, but unsure. I woke up the next morning with a calmness that I couldn’t quite
explain. With great eagerness, I went down stairs and just as Logan had promised there was a plane ticket awaiting me. It was as if my every move was being watched as I started up the stairs and with every step I turned around, but saw no one. “No one’s home Destiny. You’re just paranoid,” I said to myself as I ran up the stairs to my room to quickly grab what I needed. I took a deep breath as I opened the front door only to find a cab awaiting me.

“Logan must have arranged for this,” I thought, as a smile seemed to find its way to my face. To avoid any setbacks for my leaving, I quickly got in.

“The airport, “asked the driver as he stared at the plane ticket that I had clutched in my hand.

As if in a daze, I didn’t respond. I just sat there motionless until I felt his eyes staring into mine. “Yes,” I said while feeling a little bit awkward.

“Never to this day would I have imagined that I would be running toward a new life,” I thought to myself as I stared out the window watching everything as it passed. As the minutes flew by, I realized that we were sitting in the parking lot of the airport. “This is it,” I said to myself as I stepped out and sighed. I quickly went toward the plane before I had a change of heart and awaited the long journey that laid ahead. To help pass the time I decided to write when suddenly a poem came to mind.

Take Hold
Never let go,
the dreams that lie
deep inside your heart.
Take hold,
and let them soar.
Let them take you
places you have never
been, but wish to be
Believe in yourself
and not in others
who tell you different
Trust also in the
one’s who love
you most.
Take hold,
and follow your heart
let it lead you to
the place of your desire.

I couldn’t help but put the pencil down and lean back as I waited for the plane to land. Within minutes I was fast asleep. It seemed only minutes before I awoke to the nudge of a hand on my shoulder.

“Honey, the plane’s about to land,” said a woman with the sweetest voice that I hadn’t heard in years.

“Thank you,” I said as I rubbed the sleep from my eye’s. I sat there on the edge of my seat awaiting the moment when Logan and I would finally meet. As the plane landed, I stepped into the light of my new life to come. I walked in and out of the crowds searching for Logan when suddenly we were standing face to face. “Logan, I asked while trying to hold back the tears that wanted to break free.

“Destiny It’s so good to see you again, “he said with open arms. “Before I forget, I’d like you to meet my mother Faith.”

All I could do was stare at her because I knew she was also my mother. My eyes started to well up with tears and they trickled down my cheek. They both stared with concerning eyes.

“What’s wrong Destiny,” he asked while wiping away a tear that had just fallen.

“ I wanted to tell you that I was adopted, but I couldn’t find the right words. What I’m trying to say is Faith is also my mother. I found a trunk and that’s how I found out, though it took me a few years, I said while chocking back the tears.

“Destiny,” said my mother while tears welled up in her eyes.

“Yes mom,” I said as we embraced.

“What a reunion,” Logan said while laughing. Let’s say we get out of here and celebrate.

I later learned that my short story was selected for publication in not one, but three magazines. While living a lie in the beginning, I managed to start anew with the family of my dreams.