How do you live without your Heart

Every day I relive the moment when my Heart called and said he wouldn’t make it to see me. Someone took him away from me and my life as I knew it changed. I remember first feeling disbelief. Then the shock set in. I couldn’t, didn’t want to believe it. Finally, reality showed up and pain followed close behind. I felt helpless and hopeless. The man that filled me with joy, who gave me my life back; the man that made my world make sense and the man that truly cared for me would not be coming home today. As the weeks went by I asked myself, “How can I live without my Heart?” To just exist every day; going through the motions of life without emotion; to be alive but not living. This kind of separation is worse then death. To be left in limbo with no closure. A glass wall separates our bodies; a telephone receiver separates our lips from touching; to be close enough to see him but not to touch him. To love him deeply but unable to hold him close.

How do I live without my Heart? I have learned to have hope that we will be together one day soon; to have faith that God will make a way; and to believe in my Hearts love for me and mine for him. That is what gets me through every passing day. That is how I live without my Heart.

By the way, my Heart has a name. His name is Jon. He is in prison. Only when he comes home, will my heart beat again.