Sick Day

When I was still in high school, I got my first job doing telephone sales for a local retailer. I began to make friends and we all eventually decided to take a day off and go to a local area theme park.

Everyone else in the group was able to get the day off, but I however was stuck working. I decided that I would call in sick, just once couldn't hurt. I'm the kind of person that follows the rules, all of them, so calling off sick when I wasn't was a big deal for me. I finally decided that I would do it just this once.

The day came and we all piled into two cars and headed off for a fun-filled day of rollercoaster riding. Halfway there I realized that I had forgotten to call in. When I mentioned it someone said it was okay, that there were phones at the park (this was, as you can tell, in the time before cell phones. Now I'm really dating myself).

We got there and paid to park, then took the tram ride to the main gates and paid our entry fees. Once inside we stopped at a small area near the main walkway that had restrooms and payphones. Now was my chance.

I put my money in the phone and dialed the number all the while practicing my sick as a dog voice. I cupped my hand over the receiver to muffle out the cheers and laughter of all the thousands of people as they walked by.

My boss answered and I began my prepared speech as to how I felt and why I wasn't coming in. All was quiet on the other end of the phone. Suddenly a huge wooden gate adjacent to the restrooms flew open and a big brass band started marching out playing as loud as they could. I blocked the receiver and told my boss to hold on as I tried to muffle the music with some coughs.

They stopped right in front of me and continued their song. Once done, I don't know how long it took but it seemed like forever, they bowed to the cheers and roars of the crowd. I stood mortified with my hands over the phone.

After the cheering faded and the band marched away, I gingerly put the phone back up to my ear and cautiously spoke. I could hear the anger in my boss's voice as he told me how much he hated liars.

He said that since he really didn't have any way to prove I was lying, and since it was my first time calling off, he would be nice and let me have the day. As he was explaining this, the operator broke into our conversation and stated that I needed to add additional money to continue the call since it had exceeded the time allotted.

I asked my boss to hold as I began bothering my friends for change since I had no more. After putting the money in, the operator thanked me for paying and got off the line. I finished up the call with my boss.

I sure wish cell phones had been around then!