To Oscar

To Oscar,
You most handsomest fool,
I love you.

Let me count the ways,
And the days until you sit over my toilet.
I love your gold skin and gleaming
- spitshined - bald head.
If Crystal or Martin would not have you,
Then I can share you with Stewart.

Oh Oscar, you sexy dog - woof.
You make me gay; Not gay like Ryan Seacrest,
But manly gay like cowboys,
Gay like Gyllenhaal and Ledger should've won
Even though I am unsure what nominations they got
If any. I confess, I am obsessed!

- but don't tell
My girlfriend the Golden Globes.
Selma Hayek, Lily Tomlin,
The lady that sung the song from Crash,
None capture me like you have.

To Oscar,
Golden little erection
Of a man,
I love you.


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