Self Esteem

I look at myself in the mirror and I turn away in disgust. Uh....what a horrible figure I look to see myself upon. Those eyes that are as dull as a cloud passing and as brown as wet mud. Those eyebrows that are much too furry for their own good. Those lips that are too full and broken. It's color too pale with it's skin cracked and swolen. That skin that I see myself wearing is scratched upon, ugly, dry, rough. Those ears that never listen to other's response when they snicker. That nose that is covered with pimples and zits. That hair that is so plain jane...dull and with no use but have it being swept up into a mild ponytail with no frillings whatso ever. Those nails with too long fingers and knuckles that crack with each sound. That thigh that is too wide and unattractive with the feet two sizes too big. The clothes that are always wrinkled and out of place, out of order. The shirt that always has a stain on it, being either tomato juice or cookie crumbs or maybe spilled grape juice. Oil stains are common too. The back is never upright and the neck is slanted.

I return to the place that i had came from and sat down in the seat, feeling that my butt was too small and my chest needed a cup or two larger.

"How do I look?" I asked the person next to me. She smiled sarcastically and said "As fine as always" she replied. "Are you trying to fool me?" I asked. We were standing, waiting at a party where I was standing next to the food. "Why would I want to fool you?" she asked.

I looked back at the mirror facing me. All of a sudden I realize that I was just like everyone else. I didn't need to figure out if my hair was alright and if my clothes were a bit wrinkled it wasn't the end of the world. Others had their flaws too. Maybe I was getting better maybe my self esteem was getting higher. My self esteem was just a bit lower than others

Did I return to square one?