In A Rut

Dear Diary,
Only for your eyes and ears.
March 12,06


          I really haven't written in a while. Only because I can't find anything interesting to write. I really would like to be able to sit and start typing away like I am doing now and actually be writing something interesting. Something that would impress, and make a difference. Something that would be enjoying to read.

         I seem to have gotten myself in a rut. Not only in my writing but also in my life. I don't know if I am doing a great job at raising my children or if I am a terrific wife. I know that I am blessed with terrific children and a wonderful husband....but I don't know if I really deserve all I have. I mean, I am not rich (not by a long shot) but I am comfortable and I am happy.

         I know that I only need to say that I like something or that I want something and I eventually get it. Only I really don't know what I did or do to deserve anything.


          Having gotten all that off my chest, now, what could be causing me not to be able to write? I really enjoy doing it and I love to read other's work but lately I can't for the life of me figure it out.

         Is it possible that I am just not writing material. Maybe I just wasn't meant to write. I really don't know I am just in a rut and I have NO idea how to get out of it.
I wonder if there is a way to get this over with or do I have to just give up and say it was never meant to be.

          Can I ask someone for help or should I go to a therapist or do I take something for it. Maybe, it is something like, depression, where when you have it you take antidepressants. I wonder....is there anti-writer's block ants.

          I think this is enough of ranting and raving in this vent session. Maybe next time I can actually write something great. Maybe even, good, would do. I don't know maybe I am just trying too hard.....Well this is all for this session......