My Resolve

I am reminded today of the things that matter most to me in this life. And the need to fight for them at any cost, and against all assailants.

To not give in or cheapen myself to follow a crowd. To treasure as precious my own individuality and identity, and not adopt another. No matter the prize ... or the punishment.

It is not my profession that matters, but who I am, apart from all others, that makes me unique.

There is, I think, a reason why M. was born upon this earth all those years ago, and not another. There is something that she can give the world that no one else can, and in a style that no one else has.

The same is true of every human that ever walked our planet ... although most don't know it.

To give in, to become somebody else, to adopt somebody else's style without thought, and thereby to allow one's soul to be dictated to one; is a disrespect to the Creative Power that formed each of us.

I was born to writing, the same as I was born to my mother and father. It is my gift to the world, my sacrifice. But, that is not all.

My passion, my erudition, my unfettered mind, my integrity, and the purity of my love; are all gifts of the same offering. The world may be ungrateful. The world may even despise such presents, and often does. But, that is not the point.

The gift changes the GIVER, more so than the recipient. And there is a place, in each of us, that needs to be gifted in sacrifice before we can attain our highest level of happiness.

To change the world is wonderful. To change ourselves, by bringing our lives more in line with the truest expression of our natures, even more so.

I resolve to fill my life with more things that reflect my own personal nature. To continue building, with my bare hands, the person that I was individually meant to be. And to ignore any persons or influences that would convince me to transgress against my nature or the fabric with which it was made, the threads of which, I have previously identified.

I know that this will not make an easy life for me, and that I shall probably suffer greatly for it. But, at least I shall be able to take my soul to bed with me at night and wake-up with it again in the morning. And not lose it, or leave it behind on my pillow because it is afraid to show its face in the daylight.

When the Grim Reaper comes to knock for me, I, like every other mortal, shall refuse to answer the door and try valiantly to shut him out. But, if he does break in and insists upon an audience, I should, at least, be able to tell him (hopefully) that I lived ... truthfully and unapologetically. That I did not alter the soul that was given me. But, that I did what I was meant to do in life, and in the way I was meant to do it.

That, among other things, I thought innovative thoughts, read thought-provoking material, danced and performed my acting in a way that expressed the full-range of my emotional life, wrote according to my own style, and ... loved. That I showed this love in a general way for all of my fellow creatures, but also, in a more specific way, towards one individual person, whom I cared for with everything in the power of my soul.

Well, 4 out of 5 isn't bad.